To think that people seem to think that a birth is only traumatic if it ends in an emergency c-section??

[anyoneelsedonethis]

I have massive sympathy for women who end up with em c-s after attempting natural birth.

Am I wrong in thinking though that unless you end up with an emcs people just dismiss your birth as non-difficult/traumatic???

Some people end up with horrible ventouse/forceps/tearing experiences but no-one really seems to give much sympathy for these. That is wrong I think.

Can't imagine anyone suggesting that intervention isn't traumatic. If it doesn't go as you expect, then you're probably going to be affected regardless of the actual circumstance, no one would deny you that fact.

Ooooh no. I've got oodles of sympathy for anyone who has had a crappy time in labour and birth. Whatever happened.

has this kicked off yet?

I have found it hard coming to terms with the way people congratulate me on a 'natural' birth, when in fact I felt like I had been to hell and back...in fact it wasn't as bad as some people's experience but there was a discrepancy there bwteen what people perceived as a 'good' birth and what I felt I had been through.

My emcs was a relief personally - the other outcomes you mention all sound horrific and I have great sympathy for anyone suffering them.

I had an em/cs and it wasn't traumatic at all, in fact the other girls in my NCT class who had very long labours and intervention had a much more difficult time than me. Who are these people who seem to think that it is only traumatic if it ends in cs?

I had an emcs with my first child. I was recovering on a ward with three women who had had difficult vaginal births (two very bad tears and one huge episiotomy due to a shoulder dystocia). All the other women had it worse than me, no doubt.

There are all sorts of ways in which birth can be traumatic.

oh i make sure people know that mine was traumatic so they don't really have a choice to think otherwise.

I don't know if that's true for the population as a whole, but I definitely found the same thing among HCPs after my 'normal' delivery. It wasn't a disaster by any means, but I had a nasty heamorrage (sp, sorry) and third degree tear, and all of the (otherwise lovely) midwives were encouraging me to be up and about within 48 hours, and out of hospital within 72. They told me that I shouldn't call them to help me get DS out of his bassinet, that I should do it myself - at this point it still took me a good 5 minutes to get out of bed, sobbing in pain and frustration because I couldn't get to DS while he was crying.
The CS ladies all got help for as long as they wanted, and I just felt that there was a very different expectation of what I should and shouldn't do, compared to someone who had undergone a CS. Having seen those ladies recovering, I would never call a CS the easy option, but I did feel that there was a far greater understanding of the care that they needed.

To cut a long story short, YANBU

YABU - I think most people appreciate that birth can be traumatic however it takes place. That's why a standard response to news about a birth is (having asked about the baby) to then say 'and how is x, did she have a bad time?'. I've heard that time and time again and it reflects a consciousness in society that birth is brilliant yes - but also bloody awful sometimes.

yes it is all a big misery contest!
that is the most important part of childbirth how dramaticly horrific your birth story is.

Having had an em c s the first time and then the second birth had two failed ventouse and a forceps delivery I know which I found hardest and most traumatic.

Does anyone know OP? Sorry to ask but I hope not a journo type question, there's another one on as well and nothing else from this OP. I just want to ask before I say anything else. Thanks

Flight does it matter who knows me?

Ivy, sorry to be thick which was worse?

I was delighted in the end with my emergency c-section because my worst fear was tearing and needing stitches, so in terms of the actual birth experience YANBU.

However I was recently in hospital for an op and got to recover for 10 days afterwards. My mum and DH ( for the first couple of days) were very concerned about my well being and made sure I stayed in bed. Yet after my C-section when I came home with DS and was trying to BF and survive on no sleep I remember my Mum laughing when I said that I was so tired I didn't know if I could cope. As you have a newborn you don't have the time you need to recover from what is a major operation. If it was done in any other context they would recommend bed rest for at least a week, but who is going to get that with a new baby ?

How ever you do it, its guaranteed to hurt like hell, I have the up most respect for any woman who goes through child birth.

By the way my first was an e cs, after attempted vaginal, i thank you for your sympathy, my second was a section, no attempt, i thank you for no sympathy!!

No, it matters if you're a newbie or a regular though, to me. Sorry for being funny about who I talk to! Any reassurance forthcoming?

I had an emCS (GA), and apart from my (extreme)disappointment at not being awake for the birth of dd (especially as I was originally meant to have a nice calm planned CS), I wouldn't have called it traumatic at all. In fact i was off with the fairies for most of the time and I think DH had a far more stressful time.

In fact he would not talk about it at all, and i had to wait for the return of the midwife from her holiday to hear the full story. Luckily she took the time to pop round for a cup of tea and a cuddle (of dd ) and fill me in on all the gory details....

I think friends of mine with natural births actually had a "worse" time of it.

who are these people who think that?

I don't recall saying I had no sympathy for people who have elective c-sections colacubes, could you direct me to that part please?

I don't know if YABU because I don't know if this is people's assumption. It would never occur to me to think that. I had an emcs, which I was sad about, and would have much preferred a straightforward vaginal birth. But I was very much aware, and still am, how much better it was than a traumatic vaginal birth.

I have huge sympathy for all women who had difficult labours or births, however they ended up delivering.

So can I presume you're a PhD student or a hack then, OP? I shan't be adding further to your threads if so. I just wondered, that's all...I doubt you'll miss my contributions anyway...