To think mums with the most family help are the ones who moan the most about how hard life is?

[asif]

most people just get on with life, I know some moan some don't

BUT I'm sick of listening to mums who have THEIR mums at their beck and call telling anyone who'll listen how hard life is for them

I want to scream TRY DOING IT WITHOUT YOUR MUM THERE THE WHOLE TIME LOVE

copper - would have to create a points system

You'd get a point for:

Having a child with SN (extra points for extra children with SN)
Having no DH/DP to help
Having no family help
Having no babysitters/other help with childcare
Then perhaps some sort of points system for the number of children you have in total.

what about having a useless DP? surely half a mark?

yes that's true - we could have 1/2 points available for differing degres of uselessness of DH/DP's

So
Have those of you without family support registered to adopt a granny?

No point in moaning
You have to be proactive

CD - I have bookmarked your link and will have a good read about.

We do already have two grannys, my mum lives a long way away and we do still see her, just not regularly. My MIL has 2 dangerous dogs and i dont trust them, so we never visit her in her house, although she does visit us from time to time. Brilliant idea

don't know what to do actually

my mum is 81 and dependant on me, I see her a lot but thats because I help to look after her

taking on another granny would feel wrong

we're sort of with family(81 yr old mum) but without help, support etc., all of our help/support is given to mum

i know someone with 1 child+ a large extended family who helps with childcare she still complains how difficult it is being a parent.i find they people are always the ones who moan they dont realise how easy they have got it.

i try not to moan. For gods sake I chose to have kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obviosly with SN children it is different and you should be entitled to support. I have a supportive DH and friends I could prob turn to (but never yet have). zero family. But like I said I had them they are My responsibility.

We don't have the divine right to help!!

ASIF - it's 'as if' you were talking about my SIL.....I agree

"We don't have the divine right to help!!"

Perhaps not "divine" help - but in the not too distant past it was very common for a whole family to help raise a child (or indeed a whole community). With mass movement around the country (and other factors I suspect too) this has all but disappeared for most families.

I don't know guy, I expect it depends where you live

round here we are the odd ones in that our family isn't anywhere near us, most families/friends near me have relatives/help almost on their doorstep

I know someone who has loads of help, if she has a cold her mum takes time off work to look after the grandkids so that she can 'rest' etc..!!

However her mum is like a 3rd parent in that house and feels like she should have a say in family decisions. My friend and her DH went on holiday without the mum this year for the first time ever and it caused a right ding dong.

We have no family near us and it suits me fine TBH! I like to have a relaxed relationship with my family and it would be weird if I was expecting them to help me all the time.

A lot of people have a huge sense of entitlement, i.e that they 'deserve' kid free time, nights out, a bit of a break...well life aint like that is it?! My folks didn't have holidays away from me and my siblings, nights out, 'me time'...they just got on with life. And yes, it can be a bit dull not going out and living the high life, but it's not the end of the world is it?

IMHO it's all part of this ridiculous protracted adolescence that is endemic amongst lots of people aged 35 and under, no bloody grit or backbone.