To feel a bit sad for children in nurseries 8-6 every day?

[SlightlySad]

It struck me yesterday as I took DS2 to the aquarium then for a walk along the seafront that he was very lucky to be doing this. He'd had a few hours chilling out in the morning, taken his big brother to school, had a fun trip out, then back home for a nap.

If he had been in nursery since 12 weeks, then he wouldn't be doing half the things that he does - mother and toddlers, soft play, baby classes, singing classes, trips to the park, pre-school sessions... I know that some nurseries do these things, but it's not every day, and these are the better nurseries. Some children must spend most of their week in one room. I think this would drive DS2 mad.

I'm very lucky in not working, but this isn't a SAHM vs WOHM issue. I just think if I had to go out to work, that I would choose a childminder to care for my children rather than sending them to a nursery.

If you chose a nursery, does yours do lots of extra stuff? Do the children leave the nursery building/garden often? Why did you go with a nursery and not a CM?

VinegarTits, I actually think I did change as a person when I had children (of course my children enhance my life, too) but I feel like in many ways I am actually a different person than I was pre-children... but perhaps I am unusual.

I was 'only' 17 when i had ds1, 28 is ancient

Well, it felt young to me anyway, needmorecoffee...

Absolutely DonDons!

Blondeshavemorefun:

Personally, when my baby was 6 weeks old, he needed me every three hours, (when he was awake) not just in the pm when it suited me. When you have a baby it is no longer what you want but about what he needs.

Of course you must be a person outside of being a mummy, but for a while, a good six months I think at least, being a mummy is more important and all encompassing

Dondon - if best for you is leaving your baby in the care of others for 12 hours a day 5 days a week from babyhood then yes, I agree..!!

I am off now, you will all be pleased to hear. Going to do baking with toddler before going to the aquarium.

But you adjust, your lfiestyle changes, you priorities change, your feelings change, you dont have a whole personality overhaul because you have dc, the old you is still in there, you have just left it in the past but throughout our whole lives we do this, as situations change, people change, we grow up, your not the same now, as you were when you were 10, and thats not because you had dc.

Yes having dc changes you, but so does chaning your job/boyfriend/house

Don't be so bloody patronising - for some people it is.

What I choose to do is my business whether through choice or necessity.

Thanks, that is charming VT . I was the first of all my friends to have children, so perhaps that is why I felt young. Anyway, that is totally off topic I think...although I am happy to indulge my narcissistic streak and discuss myself further instead , if that is more interesting.

Maybe if you have children younger, then the process is more organic - your children are already part of your identity and they enhance your life. As someone "only" the very ancient age of 28 when I had my first, there was quite alot of adult identity that did change after having children...

Anyway, back to the nursery debate, I have totally digressed...

Are we allowed to feel sorry for hambo's kid, having a smug, selfsatisfied, ignorant, obsessive-aquarium-going mother for a parent?

findtheriver. Yes hambo, was that a sly dig dig, are you saying we are bad parents now because we are still MNing and not off baking cakes with our dc?

is hambo slightlysad?

Slightly mad as well I think

there's no aquarium in this city. Am a total failure

I was up at 6am

Baked 3 organic cakes

Took the neighbours kid to the zoo

Tended to my organic vegtable patch

Breast fed the cat

Ds is at his dads so i couldnt do anything mumsy with him, but just wanted to keep up with my parenting skills

well I went back "to work" about 4/5 weeks after DS2 and 3 were born........because I needed to for my sanity.........mind you it's not exactly highly paid (don't even earn enough to affect my Income Support lol) but I did I went back because it kept me sane!

ROFL at VT

We have no aquarium either. Maybe we should uproot and move closer to one.

I do hate sharks though.

I think the aquarium post was tongue in cheek.

I spent the morning ignoring dd as the carer was with her. the 2 boys played computer games.

Have baked an organic cake though but the blardy thing sunk. It looks like a sad biscuit.

OP - everyone has their own reasons for their decisions. But I find it very sad, too.

There is a lot of very good research by Penelope Leach on this one!

I was awake at 7am, but apart from giving DS3 his milk didn't actually do anything until nearly 11, when I bathed the boys (as I couldn't be arsed last night) and they got dressed. DS3 did an escape act while I was sorting DS1 out with money to pop to the shop for me. Since then they've had a (sort of lunch), DS3 has had a nap and DS1 and 2 have been playing on the PS2

My house resembles that of one that has been picked up and shaken around vigorously

What do you find sad Dottoressa? read my posts, maybe you have some useful suggestions for me?

(your not hambo by any chance are you?)

VT - interesting how slightlysad/hambo/dottoressa all do a disappearing act when confronted with a straightforward question innit?

my kids would love to be in nursery 8-6 every day.

play, play, play. their idea of heaven.

I bet hambo's kid would love it too!

Probably thinking 'Shit, not another cakebaking, aquarium-going session with mum!!'