Scottishmummy - you are right. I don't care about others choices at all.
I think the problem with these threads is that other people do find the need to judge others choices if they aren't the same as their own. They pay lip service to choice.
Findtheriver - I HAVE read your posts that is entirely the point. You don't say it directly you imply it with the remarks about how we all have to get qualified and work and we can't rely on anybody else parents/DP/DH/Sugardaddy to provide for us.
We are having a discussion about whether it is a good idea to work or stay at home not the merits of educating girls. That is taken as read - educating girls, is a good thing. I don't see why it needs to come into a discussion of working lives after children.
Besides I don't feel that SAHM are 'relying' on their DHs any more than they rely on us. It is a partnership. He works (in my case) I look after his children so that he doesn't have to find the money for somebody else to do it and he can get on with what he loves to do whilst I get one with what I love to do.
"why would either one of us want to give that up totally, when it's quite possible and achievable for us both to work and to be parents? "
Because we have the choice perhaps? Because we want to, because one or other of us, as parents, thinks it's a good idea for one of us to be with our children as much as possible whilst they are small. That is maybe why one might want to.