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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Judges Needed for minor PFB issue

120 replies

Earlybird · 06/11/2008 18:26

I have volunteered to host an annual family luncheon in a few weeks time. The invitation went out verbally for all to arrive at 12.30 (or a bit earlier if they wish) for lunch around 1.00.

One family member has asked if we can gather at 11.30 so they can leave by 1.30 to put their 3.9 year old son down for his nap (he is a PFB). I batted this back saying their ds was more than welcome to nap here in a quiet upstairs bedroom so they wouldn't have to rush home. Evidently, that will not work, as their son 'can only sleep in his own bed'.

The family member is now implying that if we don't move our luncheon time, they will not attend.

Part of me thinks it is no big deal to move the time, but part of me is determined not to pander and be dictated to.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
themildmanneredsnotmonster · 06/11/2008 18:26

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ramonaquimby · 06/11/2008 18:28

immediate thoughts are that a 3.9 year old is still having a nap?
don't change, they seem rather inflexible

WorzselMummage · 06/11/2008 18:29

People are weird.

a 3.9 year old should be a bit adaptable surely..

I wouldnt chance the time though more to make a point than anything else.

IAmNotHere · 06/11/2008 18:29

How kind of you to invite these people for lunch.

I think they're a bit rude.

Macdog · 06/11/2008 18:29

Don't change the time.

If they don't want to stay then don't let it bother you.

Have a lovely time

deanychip · 06/11/2008 18:30

No dont change BUT explain to them that every one else is ok with the time.
Be gentle, routine was paramount with my 1st not least because it was how i survived the 1st 4 years.

janeite · 06/11/2008 18:30

Goodness no; don't change it. Let them miss out if that's what they choose: they are being VERY pfb!

hanaflower · 06/11/2008 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom · 06/11/2008 18:30

This reply has been deleted

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yama · 06/11/2008 18:30

I wouldn't pander and I certainly would never ask for a host to pander to me and my family.

TheWheelsOnTheBusHaveFallenOff · 06/11/2008 18:31

so they want you all to sit down to a big annual family lunch at 12pm?? which means you having to get it ready earlier than planned, so possibly have to get up earlier / rush through prep etc ... then you all rush through lunch so they can get back for the nap? don't pander. 3.9 yr old having an afternoon nap is a bit odd isn't it?

mrsgboring · 06/11/2008 18:32

No way!! My DS is one of the worst sleeping 3 yos I know of, and I would still endure sleep chaos to socialise with people. Not that he has a nap or anything any more.

Original poster
Earlybird · 06/11/2008 18:32

They are inflexible - completely. This child is a real 'little prince'. They cater to him because he makes life miserable for them if he doesn't nap.

Problem is, I really want this cousin/her dh to attend as I like them a great deal. Also, it is my turn to 'host' them as they have held several family events at their home and I want to reciprocate.

OP posts:
Cupofteaplease · 06/11/2008 18:32

They are BU!

pamelat · 06/11/2008 18:32

Surely a 3 year old could miss his nap?

Dont change it.

scampadoodle · 06/11/2008 18:33

3.9? FFS...
Stick to yer guns

mrsgboring · 06/11/2008 18:33

Tough, they just have to have a miserable life for one afternoon if it's like that.

WorzselMummage · 06/11/2008 18:33

I dont think there is anything weird about an almost 4 year old have an occasional afternoon snooze but having a daily nap routine for a 4 year old is.. how do they get anything done ?

bran · 06/11/2008 18:34

If you don't serve a starter, just a main course at 1pm then they ought to be able to eat that and leave at 1.30, everyone else can finish at their leisure and then have dessert.

How on earth have they reached 3.9 years without ever being away from home at nap time?

Helsbels4 · 06/11/2008 18:35

My dd is 3.7 and still needs her sleep most days but if we were invited to an occasion such as this, a) she would normally keep going in the excitement of it all and b) she would sleep upstairs if she were that tired. Don't back down to this! Are they intending to just eat and then run? You're probably better off without them there!

noonki · 06/11/2008 18:37

YANBU - god another thread to remind me why having a strict routine is something I am so glad I didn't go down (Naff off Gina)

A 3.9 unless with sn surely can do without a nap, or a bit later nap.

pamelat · 06/11/2008 18:38

tell them that they come afterwards (when she wakes) to have a drink or three, and help wash up

MaureenMLove · 06/11/2008 18:38

Ah, what a shame they won't be able to be there....

Original poster
Earlybird · 06/11/2008 18:40

I said jokingly (but was semi-serious) that if they wanted to start so early, perhaps we should make it a brunch instead of a lunch. Brunch food would certainly be easier to prepare....

The mum is a sahm, with lots of help on tap from various sources so she has been able to stick to her ds' nap schedule without a problem. Everyone works around it.

I've been told the other option is to eat at 4.30 or 5.00 when he's up from his nap.......see how reasonable and flexible they are?

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 06/11/2008 18:40

Shame that they can't come then. They are bvu.

How is he going to cope with school next year, will he go home early for his nap?