to think that if single parents get benefits to SAH then so should co-hab parents?

[angelswithdirtyfaces]

If its ok for single parents to choose to SAH (on benefits) then parents co-haibiting should have this choice too?

have skipped whole thread but can someone tell me? The op wants

1. To have kids
2. To have partner
3. To have support emotionally and financially
4. Wants partners income and 2nd income without working.
5. thinks its cushy living on £60 PW
6. Thinks single parents get lots of time to themselves.
7. The majority of single parents chose not to work.

Am I getting this right??

Why do people come up with threads about single parents then when it inevitably gets heated go on about not being able to have a decent debate ? Of course you can't, you are picking on people who are in a much harder position than yourself, of course people are going to get defensive, what on earth do you expect?

I personally am delighted we live in a country where single parents get support , let's face it, you or I could be one tomorrow.

I have a fair few friends who are single parents and I wouldn't swap places with one of them. One of them has to deal with her sobbing 8 year old every night (apart from those lucky days off she gets) who is inconsolable about her (arse of a) dad not being there. I was at another friend's house tonight who isn't a single parent but will be if her DH doesn't make it through his cancer, and there are more. I wouldn't swap places with a single one of them, their lives are hard enough as it is without being made the scapegoat for society's ills as the often are.

I think sadly as the recession bites there will be more and more threads like this as resentment grows when times get harder and people become increasing dissatisfied with their lives and feel the need to lash out at others. Single parents always have been an easy target.

Well I think that instead of subsidising institutional childcare (which is not in a child's best interests as a baby) a small amount of money/tax credit should be given for a parent to choose whether to SAH or use money towards childcare. Both for lone and partnered couples. But in answer to the OP, NO I don't think they should just as lone parents do as partnered couples already have a choice to SAH in many cases. If someone really wants to SAH, they can plan for it, cut back etc and live on one wage or work around each other. We do it on one average wage, we started with nothing and worked our way up, we never lived the depending on two incomes lifestyle. Single parents have it much harder. I know some WM are bitter that they 'have' to work while they see that lone parents have a choice, but still they have a partner around to help which makes things 50% easier all the time. Lone parents are expected to do everything.

Well I think that instead of subsidising institutional childcare (which is not in a child's best interests as a baby) a small amount of money/tax credit should be given for a parent to choose whether to SAH or use money towards childcare. Both for lone and partnered couples. But in answer to the OP, NO I don't think they should just as lone parents do as partnered couples already have a choice to SAH in many cases. If someone really wants to SAH, they can plan for it, cut back etc and live on one wage or work around each other. We do it on one average wage, we started with nothing and worked our way up, we never lived the depending on two incomes lifestyle. Single parents have it much harder. I know some WM are bitter that they 'have' to work while they see that lone parents have a choice, but still they have a partner around to help which makes things 50% easier all the time. Lone parents are expected to do everything.

Ive not read the whole thread, but i can imagine this has kicked off. I think the OP is being slightly obtuse and niave. It is very different being a single mum than a mum with a partner. Often there is no choice about staying at home, it simply would not pay to work. I know this, ive been in that situation.

I can also speak from the couples perspective too. I am a SAHM, our income is tight due to DP struggling business, if i were to work then it would be less tight, but i have chosen and to a certain degree, circumstances have dictated that i am a SAHM. We receive 100 a week in tax credits, so i suppose my decision to stay at home is subsidised and one could argue that i shouldn't be entitled to it.

This point, i feel, totally disqualifies the original argument. Benefits are paid out of need, we, as a couple need more money than DP can bring in so we receive benefits. I am a SAHM, through choice. A single mum needs money to live on, so she gets benefits, she may or may not be a SAHM through choice, but i think that she is as entitled to that choice as someone who happens to have a partner.

Jellybeans, as far as i am aware, subsidised childcare only starts at three years old and only for 2.5 hours a day.

I don't think that being a SAHM automatically entitles you for money from the state if your partner brings home enough. But it IS possible to get help if by making the choice to be a SAHM it puts you under financial strain, there is help out there.

exasperated makes a very good point. Benefits are there for people who need them. It is not the case that every single mum gets benefits merely by virtue of being a single mum. It is not the case that there is no help to be had if you are a couple. But you have to need it first. And that is rather less likely to happen if you have two potential earners.

I have had to spend a lot of time at home due to disabled dd. Because I have a partner on a fulltime salary we have been able to finance this. If he left me, dd's needs would not suddenly disappear. And they would still cost the same.

I've only skimmed but I can see both points. I have a DH but he doesn't earn enough to pay our necessary bills and mortgage (which is interest only and less than we could rent for)
Facts: DH earns 24k and i earn 9k part-time but need to go full-time soon (have 8 month old) We get £30 a month tax credit.

According to entitledto.co.uk:

I could privately rent a 3 bed house for me and the 3 kids, work 16 hours a week 2 days a week earing 5k paying £130 a week childcare and receive:
Full council tax rebate
14,391 a year to pay my rent
15,792 tax credits a year
in addition to free milk, prescriptions etc.

I would therefore have approx £90 a week wages, £303 tax credits a week and would only have to pay out £130 childcare and then have £263 a week left for bills (no council tax) and food as well as five days out of seven to look after my kids.

As it is we will both have to work as many hours as we can and still not quite manage to make ends meet.

I am not talking about the emotional issues of being a single parent as that is different and something about which i have no experience and hope that i never do but financially - i have to agree with the OP in that if I were single I would have more choice to be with my kids than i do as part of a couple.

NicEm - that HB sounds very high

in my area for a 3 bedroom property I would get £132 a week (also for 3 children) the LHA website gives a clear picture of how much HB you would get.

According the better off calculation with the Lone Parent advisor if I were to work 20hrs a week - minimum wage I would be "on paper" - £100 better off a week BUT that doesn't take into account housing - which is going to cost me £500-600 a month, I would also "lose" the free prescriptions, free school meals and some of my Council Tax benefit. - therefore making me worse off

they already do.
it's called Incme support. all you have to do is give up all your luxuries and live off a pitance.

I am a SAHM. My partner works all manner of shifts so it would be very hard for us to share childcare for me to work too. If I did work I wouldn't earn enough to pay for the childcare, so I don't.

I have also been a single parent and very luckily found a job that was hours I could manage, and was in the middle of my DD's school and DS1's nursery. However I lost that job because I had to take too much time off with an ill child, but even if I hadn't lost it I wouldn't have been able to afford to use unpaid parental leave.

I'm so glad that there is a benefit system in this country that allows people to be able to take care of their children. If there are some that abuse it, so what, at least it's there.

And for the record, if you're in a couple and on a low income you do get money to allow you to stay home, it's called tax credits!!!

Sorry NicEm but IMO your HB NEVER covers your full rent-I was putting £300 pm towards mine out of £60 inc supp p/w and £40 child tax p/w-life was NOT easy-we were lucky to eat beans on toast.

That should be IME, sorry

I think that the state should pay either parent a living wage to stay at home with pre-school children. It's a valuable job and deserves some pay and status IME.

Yes it's called TAX CREDITS, they should be scrapped IMO and made back into a tax code and then only people who are actually entitled to them would receive them.
They also need to reintroduce mortgage relief because the amount being paid out in housing benefit these days is beyond belief.
If we could get back to supporting the family unit instead of making single parenting/living of benefits a lifestyle choice, then we'd have less thread like this.

I just put my postcode in the LHA site and it said I should be entitled to a 3 bed and my postcode would be £276 per week. I take your point that this may not be accurate in real life though...

NicEm, you wouldn't get £276 per week HB.

Where on earth do you live???

She would I have seen people be given £450 a WEEK in housing benefit in Manchester, it's really beyond a joke, the private landlords that will accept HB have a license to print money. If the HA say no, you just appeal until they say yes, that simple.

Surrey - currently mortgage an ex-council house

£450 a week housing benefit???
If you want to claim housing benefit on a private property it has to be rent assessed, I really can't see the HB office allowing someone to claim more than twice the LHA to move into a 2k a month house!

My mother was a single parent, not by choice but because my father was a lying cheat who went off with another woman. She struggled for years bringing my sister and i up, we were so poor that we lived in a small one bedroom flat for 7 years.

My mother would take on little cash in hand cleaning jobs here and there to make ends meet but she couldn't go out and get a proper full time job because she had us to look after and could no way afford child care. There was no "choice" about it, i'm sure if she had a choice things would have been different.

Now i look at me. I am with my partner who is the father of my dd and dc on the way. He is self employed and i stay at home for now looking after dd. We could put dd in nursery all day while i worked but the only problem with that option would be my salary would be going on child care and nothing else. So as he can afford to keep me home for a while, that's the option we take.

In no way though would i expect to be entitled to the same benfits as someone like my mother. That would be insane. As part of a couple i get way more support than she ever did so in anwser to the op, YABU because being part of a couple bringing up dc is alot easier than being a single parent.

Barack - I don't think they do rent assessment now - the new LHA workings means that you get a set amount for the size how that you (according ot them need - so for me they say I need a 3 bedroom house, and there is a set amount in my area which I would get - as would anyone else who qualifies for HB)

So current rate is approx £130 a week.

However person A could be renting a house that is £700 a month
Person B could be renting a house that is only £500 a month

They would both get the £130 a week towards it.

I could (in theory) rent a big four bedroom house if I wished when I moved after Christmas - I would still get the £130 a week and would have to pay any extra myself

Yes they send somebody around to assess and then probably turn you down, by which time you are already in the property, children at the local school etc and the HB is paid.
I work for the CAB and have seen the authorised forms.
Council tax will be around £170 a month on those properties too.

Or at least they did, it's been a good 12 months since I was involved in that area so I guess it could have changed but seriously once you are in a house it's deemed cheaper for local authority to just pay up than have the person move out, be homeless, in a B&B and then all the removal costs of putting them somewhere cheaper.

yes Katie - the new system was introduced earlier this year