to think that if single parents get benefits to SAH then so should co-hab parents?

[angelswithdirtyfaces]

If its ok for single parents to choose to SAH (on benefits) then parents co-haibiting should have this choice too?

;;;;;;;;;;;when do co=hab couples get a weekned to themselves - rarley - oh, but they have a partner.;;;;;;;;

lmao

hey guess what I CAN'T afford the childcare either!!!

you are tooooooooooo funny.

point out whether I said that?

if you can afford to stay at home because you have a partner working that is considerd supporting yourself isn't it.. if you are co-habiting you are functioning as one entity

when do co=hab couples get a weekned to themselves - rarley - oh, but they have a partner.;;;;;;;;

And what?

whether = where

"almummy

That is not true, I cannot work (even if I wanted to) as my DH works very long hours and I cannot afford the childcare. I don't have a choice"

two things

1. I can't work at the moment (as a single parent) as even with the help with childcare costs I would earn less than I currently get on benefits (which isn't a lot!)

1. I worked when my exH did long hours, and we couldn't afford the childcare. I worked a 9 1/4hr nightshift, in the early days of the job I was able to get a few hours sleep when DS2 had his nap. When he dropped his nap I would frequently be awake for 48hrs at a time. There are evening/late night part time jobs which can be done without the need for childcare.............if of course you have someone at home to look after the DC while you're working the unsociable hours.

Mascara

Thanks for clarifying your point.

I really don't understand your point

is your problem with single parents

or

is your problem with people claiming benefits in general?

FAQ

My DH works away alot making it impossible for me to work unsociable hours.

It's not a luxury to spend time with your child! I can't remember my son's first year because I was so exhausted. Do you seriously think this is a luxury? You are taking the piss!
Is the co-habiting family not claiming benefits? (child tax credit? Working tax credit?). Lets see, the child tax credit for both families is about £60. Maintenance from the father for the single parent is £50 (if she's lucky). Total benefit other than CTC =0! In a 2 parent family the money coming in can be alot more than £110 a week.

Phantom

I get child benefit and thats it. I' m taking the piss because I have a different take on benefits than you?

How convenient for the purposes of this discussion awdf. Why can't you put your children into childcare like a single parent would have to and work then?

Angels, I'd really like you to clarify your issus..

what is your irk?

a) single parents
or
b) claiming benefits

cos I think you are tangling a whole load of different issues

Almummuy,

I have 4 DC, I would not be able to cover the childcare. Why would I work when i am not reliant on state bens.
Mascara

My 'irk' is single parents who choose to SAH.

get a fucking job then

PC

LOL, why? I don't need the money. I don't claim state bens.

If you are not even fucking working yourself then get the fuck off here and stop telling other people what they should be doing. I have heard it all now.

fair enough - but I'm trying to say that just because you are able to work doesn't mean that you "can" work - we have some of the same issues (you as a married SAHM, me as a single SAHM)

I can't afford the childcare - even 80% of the costs paid still make it prohibitive for me atm to work.

I can't get a job with unsociable hours (as the vast majority are round here) or shift work, also any job which is less than 16hrs a week is out of the question as I would lose my IS, and wouldn't get WTC or help with childcare costs.

You don't need the money because you have a partner shoring you up financially. Single parents do not have what you have so should be forced to get a job.

Do you know what I have never said this on MN before but you really sound like a deeply unpleasant person not to mention a great big old hypocrite.

FAQ

If anybody really can't do it forgood reasons, such as you have stated then fair enough. I have a problem with single parents who could work.

Angel, without sounding patronising, there a lots of single parents who can not afford to work but who want to. Maybe you focus would be better on why the government make it so difficult for them to work.. and for every child they have the cost of them going back to work increases substantially.

What are your thoughts 2 parent families who both choose to stay at home?

Almummy

I just can't understand why we van't have a healthy debate without it getting nasty.

Hmmm...but often being a SAHP isn't a real choice for single parents? Often it boils more down to, if they work in a possibly low paid job (because of the hours they can work, etc....) then they would lose more money than they win by working....so...not as true choice, surely?

Allso, what really gets me is, for instance my friends situation. She got divorced recently (dh was a bit of an a**e...)and they have a dd together.She went to college on some sort of access course...and was able to claim benefits, etc....now she is in University and financially even worse off then she was before...not that it was a bed of roses before...I mean, surely it should be rewarded that she is trying to get herself out of the benefit system in the longterm, but it seems that is NOT the case...

im a single parent , im on benfits, im 32 , dd 3 , i live with my mother because can not afford to have our own place, i have worked all my working life, 60hrs plus a week in catering, i was intending to go back to work but my dd was born with a serious heart defect , in the first 3mths of her life i spent 3,ooo pounds on my credit card to support us, i have had to take out a 7,ooo loan to pay this off, oh and ex partner left when we found out about dd heart defect(oh we saved money but he went with it as he thought our dd would not live) , i could go on and on and bloody on about our experience, but i carnt be arsed , its hard very hard and to be honest im gettin sooooooooooooooooo pissed off , im a good mummy ( a great on benfits mum ) so give us a break
i have done all this on my own all the open heart ops soon to be another one oh and heart transplant in the future and guess ima full time carer for her which i get 45 pounds a week and the local job center want me to go in every 6months to discuss going back to work I DO BLLOODY WORK HARDER THAN I EVER HAVE so sorry , sod off

i absolultey have no problem going to work everyday to support my family

and out of my taxes paying someone - who has a working partner - money to stay at home.

no no problem at all, working my arse off so you can stay at home

why would i have a fucking problem with GOING TO WORK to get my money - whilst a co-habiting couple get a wage and my taxes

dumb ass thread

Mascara

What about 2 parent familes who both HAVE to work full time? Of courseI don't agree with both parents SAH unless they have a very good reason/are of independent means.