to think that my friend does not owe an apology to this couple?

[frazzledgirl]

She and her DH have been invited to a wedding, several hundred miles away. Couple are loaded, have chosen big swish hotel for ceremony and reception.

On invitation, it says that the reception will cost £30 per head, and 'guests' must also stay in the hotel, so cheap B&B out of the question.

Basically my friends are looking at several hundred pounds to attend this occasion (and that's before presents from the swanky wedding list, outfits etc), but are really worried about offending them by refusing.

AIBU to think that (a) this is utterly grasping and horrible and if you want a big splashy wedding you shouldn't force your friends and family to provide it and (b) my friends do not have to apologise, or indeed say anything other than 'we can't come because we can't afford it' ?

I wouldn't go. But then my friends wouldn't do that.

I'd say it was fine to explain very nicely that its unaffordable so they will not be going.

I think a quick and form "piss off" should do the job

urgh thats horrible. they have no need to apologise. Are they expecting guests to cough up £30 as well as accommodation? Very odd, naff and grasping.

So they expect guests to pay for the reception?
Ditto staying in hotel

I would tell them to bott off!

So a simple note declining the invitation would suffice imvho

I'd be inclined to go to the wedding, and send them a bill for transport, outfits, baby-sitters, presents etc.
Or on second thoughts tell them to stuff it.

That should have been firm

Am in total shock at saying on an invite that the wedding will cost £30 per head!!!!!!

eh? reception will cost £30 for the guest??!!

They want people to pay to attend their wedding reception?! Jog on!

just coz they have money doesnt mean everyone else can afford to be all swanky
YANBU

mercinary

how rude to charge people for coming to your wedding reception!! YANBU at all

Not on. You have a wedding within your budget.

That's outrageous! I've NEVER heard of guests being asked to pay for their meal at a wedding reception or for the 'happy couple' to dictate where people stay. When I got married we gave people a number of possible options including the local travel lodge and my dad went and negotiated a £26 a night rate for our guests. I think your friends should decline the invitation and are the ones who should be feeling offended!

Eh? They want their guests to pay £30 to attend their wedding reception ? And then tell them where to stay for the night? Sorry, but I'd be sending them a nice "enjoy your wedding day" card! What a cheek!

YANBU

lol at jumpingbeans!

If I received an invite like that, I'd decline it, but I would make no mention of the money. I would make up an excuse instead, perhaps a clashing event/holiday or similar. Things get very difficult and nasty when money is involved and the happy couple have made a massive error of judgement.

Good grief. Methinks they may end up with a very small wedding at this rate.

This is the most ridiculous thing I have heard, how rude! They are shameless, just shameless.

Just rsvp "no thanks" without any further explanation.

Is this a way of keeping numbers down??

They don't need to explain/ justify: just a standard "thanks but terribly sorry we can't make it" reply to invitation

Nasty.

But I agree with crokky. Don't make a big issue of the money. Just say they can't make it.

YANBU

Are your friends expected to pay the £30 for the reception then?

MUST stay in the hotel?. Don't see how they can enforce this. What are the bride and groom going to do. Lock everyone in so they can't leave.

All they need to do is sent a reply saying "We
can't make it that day"

I wouldn't go on principle even if i could afford to.

WTF!!! That is shocking, your wedding you foot the bill simple as. I can understand not paying for accomodation for guests but then in that case they should be able to stay where they like. What a set of deluded bell ends!
I would say I couldn't attend, don't give a reason unless they ask for one, which they may not cos they are probs so busy organising their "lavish do", which their "guests" are expected to bloody pay for.

YANBU. It's beyond rude. I'd tell them where to go.

How odd -- I've never heard of a wedding that you had to pay to attend. Agree with everyone. Your friend should simply say they cannot attend, but not say why. I wonder how many guests (though, if they have to pay for themselves they are, strictly speaking, not guests at all!) will decide the same? If they are close to the couple, could they put out some feelers to find out why this situation has arisen? Are the parents involved in organising the wedding? Perhaps the couple aren't as well off as they appear, but like to seem wealthy, etc.?