to be deeply moved by visiting a truly "child-friendly" country and deeply saddened by the stark contrast with the UK

[hatwoman]

I am just back from Egypt and the warmth that complete strangers extended to my children and the pleasure they took from them moved me so much: waiters who played tricks on them - tickling their ears and then pretending they hadn;t done anything; carriage drivers who oh so carefully lifted them onto a carriage and let them take the reins; tourists from elsewhere in egypt who told them they were beautiful and asked if they could have a photo taken with them; restaurants who expect adults to bring their children to dinner (there are no "child-friendly" restaurants - becuase that implies ones that are child un-friendly); adults who talk to the children before us; adults whose small talk consisted of telling us all about their own children and how proud they are of them. it was absolutely lovely to meet so many people who clearly adored children and saw them for the important part of society that they are. I have spent a lot of time in egypt but this was my first visit with kids. it made me at once very happy but also sad - I think people in the UK used to be more like this and I rarely see it now.

In Edinburgh, fairly recently, when out and about with good friend and her newborn several people came up and put coins innthe pram.

In The Azores it is considered extremely lucky to touch a blond haired child on the head, poor DS (who at the time had shoulder length blonde locks) was a bit fed up by the end of the first week!

I'm glad you had a great trip Hatwoman, one of my friends has recently moved to Egypt with her DH and DS. Started off with a holiday home over there but ended up preferring it!

nice story hatwoman. found the same in Spain where I go to alot. Dd was always the centre of attention. IN the UK it seems little ones are just a nuisance to be tolerated in public. Brits are so tight and mean-spirited.

It sounds lovely. However if you read some of the threads on here you will find people saying that taking a photograph of a child is abusive and so is picking one up. Even paying attention to someone elses children is considered intrusive or suspicious.

I don't know when it happened, but it's sad.

Hmm Tinto you may have a point

Maybe it depends on where you live, I often get nice comments to my kids here. An elderly genleman on his scooter passes my son everyday and has built up a relationship with him just by saying hello. Perfect strangers have commented on how cute my son is (usually when I am at my wits end because he is being a mischief. Hes only 2)
I could give more examples.
I don't think its my kids particulary btw its just I live in a small welsh town and I think its a different culture.

I found the same in Indonesia when DD was 12 months.
It is lovely but true that it can get intrusive at times.
I was there 10 weeks and on days when I wanted to just sit and play with my DD, I knew I couldn't without offending someone.

They also could not get their heads around the travel cot at all, they called it the Baby cage!

So, all of you who have had these lovely child friendly experiences, do you all have male children?

xposted with mugglevump

I have a boy and a girl and find their treatment equal

mavornia - I used to live in Egypt. It certainly has it's up and downsides. I loved it - BUT the friendliness can be too much - and I have had food put in my mouth even as an adult! That is a very eastern habit.

I would love to take dd one day. But dd is very strikingly fair with blue eyes (from dh - I'm quite dark) and I'm not sure I could handle the attention.

Are you in Cairo?

dd is female...but see other children being 'spoiled' as well. IT is unquestionably a Brit problem.

My Dad was from cyprus and my mum said she was always so impressed how the cypriot men were with children.
I found the portuguese very child friendly, the cleaners used rush into the apartment in the morning looking for the baby when DS was a gorgeous chubby 8 month old.

When my DD was a baby I used to go up to work in the City every two weeks. We used to go by train to meet my mum to babysit. DD used to have the men on the train playing with her She used to flutter her eyelashes at them.
One young student said to me "I don't normally like babies but she's got personality"

I think in many ways people are too scared to talk to children anymore, as someone else said just going on these boards so many people complain if someone says anything to their child, or touches them, it's really sad.

Acinonyx, I'm in Alexandria

i'm also well used to having a jumbo prawn shoved in my mouth by my mother-in-law - my poor dad still talks about being force-fed too, lol

christy, I would move to Portugal at the drop of a hat!
When we were eating out there, I was bfing ds4 at the table. The waiter came over and topped my glass of wine up with a grin saying "It's good for the milk!"
In contrast, here in Ireland I once asked at a restaurant dh and I were eating in whether they had a childrens menu. To be told "No, we don't encourage them" I think people seem to forget that children are people!

I don't think I was clear DD's train trips were in London, but I do love Portugal we had lovely holidays there.

we live in singapore and it's the same here

the brits are so miserable. i'm a brit!

Hi Egypt, was about to post the same!

The chinese are very very proud of their children and do everything for them first. It's a cultural thing of course as they do not have many.
They ALWAYS go out with kids. And they are very well behaved - maybe because they get all the attention they want and are treated as equals ?

My mum says when I was a baby and was taken to France everyone would coo over me and waiters would whisk me away to show me round the kitchen. She said I had been quite shy of men before but after that I would happily go off with these good looking young waiters without a backward glance.

Even here in Sydney though I think people are more friendly towards children - there are always lots of little ones in local cafes to us and they are always getting "oh how cute" comments - and not always just from me.

Many cultures and countries are child friendly. It is just not so in England I feel. When I was very little we lived in Spain for a bit. I ran into the road one day and hit a car ... the car didn't hit me, I hit it - it was moving and I ran straight into the side of it. I wasn't hurt, just shocked and winded. I was 3 at the time and it happened right outside the flat where we lived. My Dad had to physically stop the shopkeepers and passers by from lynching the poor driver (who was devastated) ... The police came and my Dad had to stop them from arresting him for harming a child - pointing out that it was my fault, not his ...

In Sydney everything is so child friendly you almost feel guilty for doing anything without the kids. I love the UK for all its faults - it may not be the most child tolerant place but its diversity and culture make up for it - something I want my DD to learn about as soon as she's old enough.

Ozziegirly - where are you in Sydders? Have you heard about our meetups?

Living in Cyprus has made me realise how restrained we are with kids. Over here, they think nothing of ruffling hair, pinching cheeks, hugging or even kissing strangers' babies.
When I first came over my British reserve would bristle whenever they did it, now I realist its just that they are a nation not plagued with the media threats of there being a 'paedo' on every corner. So the paranoia doesn't exist.
Restaurants are a wonderful experience too, with the kids getting fuss and freebies wherever they go.
The boy-child is definitely king though, as DS gets more fuss than DD (although he is younger).
I know that pockets exist in the UK where children are welcomed but my recent visit back to the UK in the summer made me realise how up ourselves we are as a nation when it comes to how we regard the kids.

Its definitely caused by the national paranoia of peado's on every corner.

How sad for the country that its come to this. And the US, where I am from, can be just as bad.

Oh stop the Brit-bashing! My DD is constantly fussed over by staff and customers in restaurants/cafes/supermarkets/shops. Strangers help me onto the train with the buggy etc. I've seen just as much goodwill to her here as abroad. Perhaps more so here, actually.

Yeah it really is sad. We can't do anything any more for fear of offending someone.
The DCs and I visited a local Cypriot castle the other day and while we were there a coachload of Korean tourists arrived. As well as snapping the architecture many of them were taking pics of the kids (because they are the most beautiful kids in the world, obviously - think the red hair and pale skin was the attraction)
DD (7) was a little perturbed, asking me if they were 'allowed' to photograph her. How tragic that, instead of feeling flattered, she felt threatened. I have to take some repsonsibilty for this as I must have passed on some paranoia but I'm trying hard to loosen up and am actually pleased to bringing my kids up in an environment that doesn't breed fear.

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