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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have reported these builders ?

320 replies

beanieb · 03/11/2008 14:43

At lunch time I walked to the nearest shops to work and passed a site where there are retirement homes being built. As I walked by a couple of builders whistled and shouted 'oy' . I noticed a sign outside the site saying something about 'considerate construction' so rang it immediately! I wasn't rude but I did point out that shouting at people walking by was hardly considerate.

Why do I feel so guilty then!? MEH!

OP posts:
VineGuyFawkesFeltMyTits · 03/11/2008 17:13

2shoes please see the post By PootleAndThePoseysMum on Mon 03-Nov-08 16:21:58

They will not loose there jobs over it.

Original poster
beanieb · 03/11/2008 17:13

So 2shoes, you think that is the price they should pay?

You're really condusing me.

Why do you think people with a disability have a right to be upset and offended or intimidated but other people like me don't?

OP posts:
bodycolder · 03/11/2008 17:14

But they knew there was a possibility of being reprimanded as the phone number was there for all to see.Why do builders think it is ok to do this when other people going about their work don't.

nolongeraworriedmummyfied · 03/11/2008 17:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleWhizzingBella · 03/11/2008 17:14

OP wasn't trying to get anyone the sack. She was complaining about a) the unprofessionalism of these people and b) her space being invaded.

She's not responsible for the procedures those people's employers have for dealing with employeees who bring the company into disrepute.

Once again, if these tossers lost their job IT IS THEIR OWN FAULT, THE OP IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR BEHAVIOUR.

But we still don't know that that was the consequence do we, and it's highly unlikely to be.
.

Original poster
beanieb · 03/11/2008 17:14

sorry - confusing.

And IMO decking people (or getting your husband to do it for you) isn't the way to go about changing things.

OP posts:
bodycolder · 03/11/2008 17:14

beanieb you are right.

MorrisZapp · 03/11/2008 17:15

Of course they won't get sacked! How could they possibly be sacked? Did the OP know their names and make a specific complaint?

How would the employers know which builders had said what, or that it had even happened at all?

Do you honestly think that builders get sacked when one member of the public makes a complaint about them in general?

2shoeshissbangwhoosh · 03/11/2008 17:15

oh so your child gets called a spaz as well?

IWonderIfMamaGStillLovesMe · 03/11/2008 17:16

you reported them for saying oy?!

Original poster
beanieb · 03/11/2008 17:17

I reported tehm for whistling and shouting out - I don't think I ever said they said 'oy' other people have and they weren't there

No idea what you mean 2shoes

OP posts:
Original poster
beanieb · 03/11/2008 17:18

Oh - yeah - they did shout OY! ha ha! what I meant was general shouting not exactly 'oy' but 'oy' was the only way I could sum it up.

OP posts:
combustiblelemon · 03/11/2008 17:19

It's incredibly depressing how many women are defending this behaviour. I hope none of you have sons. The comment from one poster about how the builders were probably whistling someone behind her makes me so angry- implying that someone complaining about sexual harassment is not attractive enough to be harassed- misogynistic bollocks.

The Considerate Construction scheme is supposed to cover all sorts of issues, and this is one of them. The checklist on the website says that people should be sure their "induction procedure deal(s) with shouting or abusive language, as well as courteous behaviour towards the general public" Those men knew they shouldn't have been doing it.

To those defending it, when does it become innappropriate behaviour to shout and whistle at a woman? If there are 5 men? Or 10? If they are closer to the ground? If the woman is on an empty street and feels vunerable? If she has a child with her?

LittleWhizzingBella · 03/11/2008 17:21

Oh and yeah, I'm really insane for thinking that women have the right to walk down the street without being reduced to their cunts by men who want to show off to their mates. Gibbering, in fact.

Because that's what this type of harrassment is - it's reducing women to being just sexual beings so that men can have a male bonding session at our expense. If you want to be the subject of that male bonding, go ahead, good for you, show them your tits as well if you want. Just don't tell other women that they should shut their mouths and put up with it.

IWonderIfMamaGStillLovesMe · 03/11/2008 17:22

"As I walked by a couple of builders whistled and shouted 'oy'"

The above is posted by you in the OP.

VineGuyFawkesFeltMyTits · 03/11/2008 17:24

I think she already admitted they did shout 'oy', i cant beleive women are defentding these tossers, i clearly must be insane

Original poster
beanieb · 03/11/2008 17:25

Thank you combustiblelemon - I was gobsmacked by that 'someone behind you' comment. It seemed to be both implying that I wasn't attractive enough to expect it to be me which I thought was particularly mean. Also as you say it was suggesting that my upset about it wasn't worthwhile. I just thought it was an incredibly snide and bitchy comment and not one I would expect from another woman TBH.

It's the kind of comment I might have had at school from one of the more 'popular' girls and something I thought I had left behind in the shcool yard

I know that some women really do enjoy getting these comments and feel that it validates them or makes them more attractive. It just doesn't do that for me I'm sorry.

I feel I have done the right thing calling the telephone line provided but the wrong thing discussing it here.

OP posts:
2shoeshissbangwhoosh · 03/11/2008 17:25

beanieb

By 2shoeshissbangwhoosh on Mon 03-Nov-08 17:08:50
needmorecoffee that is different. in that case dh and ds would have decked them.

was in answer to this

By needmorecoffee on Mon 03-Nov-08 17:03:05
I went and complained when the builders 5 yards from my gate (they are building a new library) said 'look at the spastic' about dd. And gave them a bollocking.
Not one of them whistles at anyone or shouts at anybody.
sexism, racism or disablism. Its all wrong.

and yes if someone builder or abnker called my dd a spaz my dh/ds would deck them

Original poster
beanieb · 03/11/2008 17:26

""As I walked by a couple of builders whistled and shouted 'oy'"

The above is posted by you in the OP. "

yeah - I realised thanks and posted so just above you

I used 'oy' as a general cover all for the grunts and shouts

HTH

OP posts:
MrsGhoulofGhostbourne · 03/11/2008 17:27

YABU - get a life!!

2shoeshissbangwhoosh · 03/11/2008 17:27

and I have to be honest. I used to hate all the whistling from building sites and was glad it stopped. tit was enough to make you paranoid if you didn't get whistled at
but I just don't see the big deal and the need to complain(except in NMC when it was directed at her beautiful dd)

nolongeraworriedmummyfied · 03/11/2008 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

combustiblelemon · 03/11/2008 17:28

You've done exactly the right thing BeanieB. Don't let yourself be upset by people posting on here.

IWonderIfMamaGStillLovesMe · 03/11/2008 17:28

I saw we had cross posted.

I am not defending anyone. I just think there are bigger things to get upset about but then I am having a particular difficult day.

CarmerKharma · 03/11/2008 17:29

Havn't had time to read all the posts but in my opinion YANBU.

Serves them right for being cocky bastards and showing off like a bunch of stupid school boys. I'd laugh if they did get the sack. Then if they have families, maybe they'd have fun explaining WHY they got the sack. I hate 'men' like this.