to only spend £50 each on my kids this year?

[SmugColditz]

it never occured to me that I would be unreasonabl;e to do this, but an aquaintance of mine has said "Oh, X says she is only spending £50 each on her kios this year, I think that's really tight, don't you?"

And me being me, I told her I was only spending £50 each too (less on ds2, if I'm honest) because what the hell is the point of spending more than you can afford, and that she herself says her kids broke all their Christmas presents in 3 weeks.

And she looked horrified.

So, if you have a 'normal' or less than average income, how much are you spending on your kids, and AIBU?

I think you should all chill, MrsGhost's apologised for perhaps using the wrong terminology. Its still her prerogative to spend a lot of money on her DCs as it is mine, and if people don't want spend money on their DC's then thats their prerogative also.

YANBU, £50 sounds very fair.

We have spent a grand total of £3.25 so far on DD, I found a couple of bargins at a charity shop 10 brand new disney books for 20p each and an alpabet abacus type thing for £1.25 in very good condition.

We will probably spend another £20-25 on smallish bits and bobs and some clothes.

DD will be 13mo at xmas and is getting spoilt by grandparents, uncles, aunts, great grandparents etc.

Also TBH we don't have the space for things to be buying lots.

I wouldn't dream of spending more than £50 on a small child and as for a week's wages, you must be mad.

YANBU

i dont understand why anybody cares what anybody else spends on presents at christmas.

christmas and christmas presents mean different things to different people and families.

live and let live!

Actually the puppy is because ... oh why bother

Money not to much of a problem but would never spend more than 25-30 pounds

Parents of babies and toddlers can't compare to parents of kids aged, say, 9, 12 and 14 though, who are old enough to want and ask for specific items which may sometimes be expensive. Most children under three have no concrete concept of Christmas and receiving presents/the value of presents received.

When my DC1 is born I will only buy one special outfit/pair of shoes/book, as their Christmas present, which I will put in the keepsake box after, because I will be saving up for when they are actually old enough to actually want something for Christmas!!

Hmm, I'm undecided about Christmas this year...

My girls are 3 and nearly 18 months and throughout the year they get new clothes and shoes when needed, and books galore whenever I feel like treating them. DD1 also has weekly dancing lessons, they both go to a music class weekly and I take dd1 to the cinema if I think there's a film she will enjoy (there's at least £10 spent when you consider pick and mix...)- that's a lot of money spent on treats as far as I'm concerned considering I lived in hand-me-downs as one of 5 siblings as a child.

On top of that, we take them to Disneyland Paris for a long weekend every November, which is a HUGE treat, as they love it and usually get bought treats whilst there such as hair slides, stuffed toys and maybe a dressing up outfit.

So by the time Christmas gets here, I'm a bit 'treated' out!

Therefore, I don't know what to buy them- there is nothing they need. I'm thinking a digital camera for dd1 (£15) as she is just getting interested in photography, and a toddler sized buggy for dd2 to push her big sister's dollies around in, as she can only just peek over the top of her sister's toy pushchair!

So all in all, £100 would cover their Christmas presents combined, and some.

Personally I don't care what other people spend! My family and ILs contribte sod all to Christmas, so the dc will only get what we give them, but right now, they are far too young to realise what day it is!! As long as they enjoy going to church, I DON'T CARE!!

Agree older children and teenagers tend to have expensive items. I'm sure I'll be spending more on dd in 10 years time (unless we have less money...).

Mine will be getting around £30 each inc stockings. As ,uch as I WANT to get them all that they've asked for i'm not about to get back into debt over it.

£50 sounds absolutely fine and its more than a lot of kids will be getting spent on them, especially in the current times.

I have so far spent £65 for ds only on things I know he will really like, plus his 4th birthday is at start of Jan, so may even hold something back for that.

DP is the opposite, he wants to spend spend spend and views the things I've already bought as stocking fillers, whereas I think that should be all he gets.

I struggled to find things that ds would really like and am not prepared to spend money on stuff that he won't be bothered with.

DSS is getting considerably more (in cash), however he is a teenager and will appreciate it (not that I entirely agree with giving so much money).

I think dp's materialistic attitude stems from his own childhood where they were brought up in a religion that prohibited the celebration of birthdays and christmas's, so think he is trying to make up for it now.(he had christmas's and birthdays until the age of 5, then it was suddenly stopped).

To me, its about the kids being happy and us having a wonderful day as a family, i love the traditional dinner, the relaxed fun attitude and the crap christmas songs (that I always put on to the annoyance of everyone else). Im getting all mushy just thinking about it now

DD (14) wants to know, do your kids have pocket money? Do you buy them stuff through the year as well? And how old are they roughly.

My ds's are 6 and 8and they do not get pocket money. The only thing I routinely buy for them throughout the year would be books and sporty stuff. They may get some DVD's thoughout the year if one they really want is on a sale - same for ds lite and pc games (3 for £20 offers i might get 2 for me and 1 for them) I think basically I do not go looking for things to buy them throughout the year but if i se a bargain or of if see something they really want or they may benefit from I will get it.

As for the OP. I think £50 is perfectly reasonable. I, personally don;t put a min or max on the limit. I shop looking for the best prices and the toys and items that I think will see them well throughout the year. If one year one of the boys needs a new bike they will get it - but that does not mean I will intentionally spend the equivilent money on the other child. Being close in age they ahare a lot of stuff anyway.

This year, so far, I have bought them a power tour electric guitar thing that originally cost £70 but was reduced to £19.99, a few science museum things that were buy one get one half price (so when I bought a gift for one of their friends birthdays I got the other ne half price) quite a few books from 'The Book People' some pj's for their stockings and bathrobes that were on sale in M&S, 2 DVD's from Ebay - so in total about £80 between the 2. They will also get some more books, DS lite games they have wanted almost all year but are told to ask Santa for, a couple of games that it hink will hold their interest past boxing day ie Scrabble, Cluedo etc and some stocking fillers (I rip off the crappy freebies you get with comics and save them for stockings - so they alreasy have mini pinball things, power balls, loads of Dr who stuff etc etc and it's all essentially 'free' as their grandparents buy the the comics and send them to them and i just get to them forst to rip the free stuff off)

BTW when they were under 2 they got a gift of about £10 spent on them - at the most!

I must confess that during the summer I bought ds a trampoline and a bike, I did get them for as cheap as poss tho.
Because his birthday is in Jan, they weren't really suitable to buy for then.

Oh and dss got a season ticket to his fav football club during the summer (his birthday is late dec). He did do lots of jobs and saved up his pocket money to pay half of it tho.

cupcake, good idea about the toys on the front of mags for stocking fillers, will start doing that!!

In our house this whole problem started to escalate when DS1 got into Thomas the Tank Engine, then DS2 did. They get sooooo excited over every Thomas-themed toy I just find it really hard NOT to buy loads of stuff. I have bought what I thought were a "few things" and was going to get some more bits, but until seeing this thread hadn't added up the total spend yet. I just did a quick calculation and it's already 150 quid in total! AAAARRRGGH! How does that happen?! DS1 is nearly 5, and DS2 is 2.5.

Here's what I got, and to me this doesn't seem OTT:

DS1:
Hot Wheels set for 15 quid
TTT crane set thing - 15.00
Takealong engine - 5.25
Golden Coinmaker - 15.00
Singalong CD player - 15.00

DS2:
TTT take along set - 15.00
TTT pull along stacking train - 17.00
2 takealong engines (fiver each ish)
Kipper's A-Z book - 5.00
Elmo soft toy - 13.00
Elmo's ABC book & DVD - 8.00
Elmo DVD - 8.00

Then they will jointly get 2 CDs of Thomas songs which is another 18.50.

I really don't think that the actual AMOUNT of stuff for each is OTT, but the bloody cost is ridiculous. It's so difficult because I know how much they will love, use and appreciate what I've got them, I just wish these character presents didn't cost so much.

For what it's worth, my sister and I always had big piles of pressies at Christmas and I can still remember the "wow" feeling I got every Christmas morning when I saw it. I appreciated each and every toy and they ALL got very well used (as my mum and dad will testify). I totally appreciated what I got and don't think my parents "spoilt" us. My sister is quite materialistic as an adult however, whereas I am so not. But, I do want my kids' eyes to light up when they see a little pile of pressies each, and feel the way I remember feeling. I just don't want them to grow up materialistic because of that - VERY difficult to get it just right, and without spending too much money.

cupcake and lila

just in case you want more freebies from comics - keep a look out on market stalls if you have one near you.

On our market there is a stall that sells off old comics, usually at about 3 for £1. DS1 is still young enough at 3 not to know that his comic is not 'this week's' comic and as you say, they are handy to have a couple by and for the freebies to be cheap stocking fillers (or for distraction and bribery to keep DS1 happy when DS2 6months appeared on the scene!)

OMG £50? I'm not spending that on DH! DD (21mo) will get £15 if she's lucky and the majority of her stocking will be things she needs anyway. She'll just love unwrapping them. The words more money than sense spring to mind.

i agree with biggernow,you cannot compare buying things for little children to older and teenage children, i have a 2 yr old ds2 and a 10yr old ds1, so course things cost a lot more for the older one, the days are gone when he would only want a train or book. he is really into lego which is good as it can continuasly be played with etc, but as the thing for boys his age this year in our area is the lego clone wars, and for one set of lego it ranges between £40 to £80, the deathstar set is £250!!!!!!! i have been searching ebay for cheaper finds but they have changed, rather annoyingly, the packaging so that clones wars lego sets is different to other starwars lego sets, so findnd that second hand is rare.

ds2 has got a lazytown megasketcher thing (free in a buy 3for2) peppa pig toys and a fireman sam set. he will probably get some books and pj's but thats all.

tbh I spend £300 each on my older two
but that doesnt mean that YABU that is a good ammount

when they were younger £50 would of sufficed

I think that Christmas can often become a massive commercial event which leaves people stressed, rather than being a religious family event which pulls families closer. When you're too busy worrying about the food and the presents, you lose sight of what it is actually all about.

I come from a family where my parents didn't make a huge fuss of birthdays / halloween / bonfire night / Easter, but Christmas was a massive event. Big family dinner, millions (so it seemed) relatives and an estravagance of presents. Mum and Dad would save through the year and we'd go downstairs on Xmas day and find a sofa full of presents each. One year I got a new laptop and loads of other pressies too. We always seemed to get a new wardrobe full of clothes.

However, they could afford to do that, neither my mum nor dad had credit cards, they earnt and saved money for holidays and Christmas. Generally through the year they didn't buy loads of stuff for us, we got pocket money which we used to save to buy Xmas pressies for other people / comics etc. As we gold older, we'd get a set amount but that was to cover our clothes, and they paid for our driving lessons.

As I said, they could afford it. I cannot on anywhere near that scale, so Christmas presents are on a lesser scale for my DD, but she still ends up getting a lot, given that my parents buy for her, as well as my siblings and DH's family.

We have to save through the year to get Christmas presents (I dont like to put Xmas pressies on credit cards) and stick to that budget. This year we have just short of £500 to spend on Xmas pressies for the family (excl DD and each other) BUT we both have a massive family - between us we have 11 siblings, three sets of parents, seven neices and nephews, six sets of grandparents and what seems like a million aunts and uncles. So we have to apply some rules and not buy for everybody, and not go overboard.

For DD (3) we have gotten her:
Toy Story I and II (on the bogof offer) £10
Sleeping Beauty £15
Couple books £10
Minnie Mouse and Mickey Mouse cups £8 (bogof)
White board / chalk board £5
Princess Snap cards £2
Princess clock £15

We're debating about one other present, DH wants to get it her, I'm not too sure, but that is expensive (£100) so we wouldn't buy her anything else if we got that.

I've got the stress of buying everything else for the famliy - joy!!

I've not read the whole thread, but i don't think we've spent £50 per child yet even adding in all the stocking bits.

That's not to say I wouldn't if that's what I wanted to do one particular year, but I'd say a biggish thing at £30 or under and a stocking is our standard.

Question for CurlyhairAssasin and Elfonthetopshelf. The list you posted, is it what you are getting your DCs or the list of what they are receiving from rest of family as well?
I am not trying to be funny or anything (genuinly!) but if that is only your list, regardless of the cost, how big are their bedroom(s)? Or do you get rid of last years presents? (if so tell me how you do that because my DCs never let me get rid of anything unless it is absolutely not working anymore, a car with three wheels could still be used for stunts and things... I could do with some help on the matter)

ive got loads of things secondhand..cant afford everything new plus ds1 only has a month between birthday and christmas..having fun seeing what bargains i can find...ebay is doing well out of me this year and other online sites that sell second hand..like gumtree.etc

That is what she will be getting from us.

Her bedroom in TINY. Luckily its quite scarce in there. She has one of those revolving dvd cases (which was ours before she arrived, we just put it in her room) which has books one side, and DVD's the other, which are not full, so the new stuff will slot in there. The glasses will go in the cupboard in the kitchen. The Disney clock will go on the window sill and the other stuff will go in the toy boxes either in her room or in the living room.

With regards to previous years toys, well, she still has a load of them, the others we have donated to a childrens ward at the hospital - we tend to do it in Sep as its her birthday in Oct, so the stuff she has grown out off/ no longer uses, we ask her what she wants to give to the poorly children and she is quite happy to do that.