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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to only spend £50 each on my kids this year?

302 replies

SmugColditz · 30/10/2008 22:27

it never occured to me that I would be unreasonabl;e to do this, but an aquaintance of mine has said "Oh, X says she is only spending £50 each on her kios this year, I think that's really tight, don't you?"

And me being me, I told her I was only spending £50 each too (less on ds2, if I'm honest) because what the hell is the point of spending more than you can afford, and that she herself says her kids broke all their Christmas presents in 3 weeks.

And she looked horrified.

So, if you have a 'normal' or less than average income, how much are you spending on your kids, and AIBU?

OP posts:
luckylady74 · 31/10/2008 00:25

Im think we have an average income and I'm spending £100 between 3 dc and I think that's a lot of money. I'd really rather try and scrape the money together to go abroad with them next summer than spend money on toys.They have a fair amount of stuff. Their grandparents spoil them in spite my protests -despite the fact my mum always told me it was 'common' to spend lots on presents!
So I think you're being very generous

LoveBeingAMummy · 31/10/2008 07:06

It depends on what you do with it - you could spend £200 pounds and the stuff would never be looked at again, or £20 on the perfect pressie that they'll love for years.

Don't worry about not keeping up with the Jones

eandh · 31/10/2008 07:21

I've spent £80 on each of the dd's but have got loads for that by buying in sales through the year. We save £50 a month in a xmas club but decided to spend £230 of that and booka holiday for next year (caravan in dorset) as they'll love that more than a huge puile of toys. They have a dolly each as main present (what they wanted and dd1 wanted baby bjorn doll that wees and cries and the entertainer had it half price!!) plus about 8otehr presents like dvd (on bogof in tesco), dd1 has a huge magnetic disney princess thing she'll love, dd2 has a phonic thing then they have sweets, toothbrushes, books, socks, nighties, colouring stuff, art/craft bits and there is some mroe but can't remember its in the loft

We have a huge family so they get loads and tbh last year we spent a silly amount of money and they were bored of it all by 10am so less is more so YANBU!!

Foxy800 · 31/10/2008 07:43

We are only spending £70 on our dd this year as it is all we can afford snd we are budgetting for everyone else to.(With dd we always buy a main pressie like a toy then things that will be seful like clothles.
If I had more than 1 child it would probably be less.

I dont think £50 each is bad at all.

hatrickortreat · 31/10/2008 07:46

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hatrickortreat · 31/10/2008 07:48

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yomellamoHelly · 31/10/2008 07:49

I don't even spend that much. Ds1 got so much from gps and family last year there was really no point. It took him until April to play with the last of his presents properly. To me that says he had too much last year - so I won't be changing my ways.
Might be slightly different with ds2, we shall see, but not massively different. (Last year he was definitely overlooked on the pressie stakes.)

lizziemun · 31/10/2008 07:52

She obviously didn't watch GMTV yesterday where they were talking about the fact that a 1/4 of us are still paying for the credit they took out last christmas.

No i don't think you are being unreasonable the way things are at the moment why put yourself into more debt then you have to.

skyblu · 31/10/2008 08:04

We too, have set a limit of £50 per child too!

Have two step children who don't live with us and our own DS.

(DS will have a stocking too, but I've already over half done that and it's all bargain/cheap stuff).

We have to spend approx £250 on other people at xmas as well (family, neices, nephews etc). Have whittled it down as much as we possibly can and cut out everyone we possibly can too.

If we only had the DC's and no-one else to buy for, I'd spend a bit more than £50 each - but not that much more as none of them go without and they all have things all through-out the year.

The fact that we have to find around £400 for xmas presents is scary enough! Would like to spend less, but don't see how we can whittle it down any further really.

NotDoingTheHousework · 31/10/2008 08:06

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onthewarpath · 31/10/2008 08:14

YANBU
I do not see the price tag on the gift as being relevant. If something is really the thing they want and you can afford it then yes, othervise, why not just buy something they will like regardless of how cheap it is?
When DD1 was 4 all she wanted was a skipping rope, not a fancy sparkly one, juste the £1.50 with wooden handles she had seen in the shop. There was no changing her mind, THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTED!!! She got it , loved it and now DD1 is 9 Still has the thing and loves remembering how much she wanted it.
I am not saying that everyone should do it, just an example to show pleasure does not always have to be costly.
I think it is reasonnable to put an "I do not want top spend more than £50" but to say that you are "tight" if you spend less than £50 is IMHO quite ridiculous. Too many people struggle with money nowadays to have a "no less than £50" a rule for children presents.

onthewarpath · 31/10/2008 08:17

YANBU
I do not see the price tag on the gift as being relevant. If something is really the thing they want and you can afford it then yes, othervise, why not just buy something they will like regardless of how cheap it is?
When DD1 was 4 all she wanted was a skipping rope, not a fancy sparkly one, juste the £1.50 with wooden handles she had seen in the shop. There was no changing her mind, THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTED!!! She got it , loved it and now DD1 is 9 Still has the thing and loves remembering how much she wanted it.
I am not saying that everyone should do it, just an example to show pleasure does not always have to be costly.
I think it is reasonnable to put an "I do not want top spend more than £50" but to say that you are "tight" if you spend less than £50 is IMHO quite ridiculous. Too many people struggle with money nowadays to have a "no less than £50" a rule for children presents.

onthewarpath · 31/10/2008 08:18

Sorry, having a senile moment AGAIN!

filz · 31/10/2008 08:19

oh colditz, this reallY irritates me. Its nobody elses sodding business whether you spend £1000 or £10. We are going to spend £20 each this year. I have been collecting stocking fillers, here and there, either charity shop or reduced items. thats it. My children dont know any different. They just love christmas

Pawslikepaddington · 31/10/2008 08:19

I was going to spend more this year but:

a) We went to Hamleys on Wed so she got two quite big things she really wanted there, and

b) She starts horse-riding on Sunday, which is what she REALLY wanted, so am spending less.

She got a lot of toys over the summer due to various bad things happening and so was over-indulged, and is getting a bit spoilt, so have tightened the toy belt a bit. Besides, it is about dd's age that you start realising that xmas is about family, not presents (the adverts have been banned in the house already!)

Buda · 31/10/2008 08:22

YANBU - unless of course you can't even afford that in which case you are!

It is all relative. Depends on household income, what child has already, whether buying something that child really wants whether cheap or not, etc etc.

Libra1975 · 31/10/2008 08:25

I think it's unreasonable for anyone to comment on how much someone else spends on their children at Christmas. So if £50 per child is what you want to spend on your children then YANBU.

ramonaquimby · 31/10/2008 08:28

surely this is something unique to each family? I wouldn't dream of asking or telling others what we've spent on our children

Hulababy · 31/10/2008 08:29

YANBU. You should spend what you want and can afford, and no one should comment on that at all. Some people can afford much less than £50, some an awful lot more.

lucykate · 31/10/2008 08:30

we only ever spend £50 per child, and that also includes anything which comes from father christmas (who's budget is about £10-15)

i really hate this idea some people have, of the more you spend, the better christmas you have. and i also hate the fact that, in my family, we are the only ones who send thank you cards.

saltire · 31/10/2008 08:50

I can go one better than that, my MIL's and step MIL's christmas presents this year are costing a grand total of 56pence each.

needsomeonetotalkto · 31/10/2008 08:58

You can get a fair amount for £50, why spend what you can't afford. Let's face it, most kids loose interest very quickly!

MrsGhost · 31/10/2008 08:58

I think its crass to say how much you spend on your kids anyway.

barnsleybelle · 31/10/2008 08:59

There's been quite a few threads about this and i usually say the same thing.
It's totally up to you what you spend. there should be no "norm" so to speak. You can make christmas very special in many ways that doesn't cost much.
I was one of 4 and we had very little in the way of presents but i look back on all my christmas's as being blooming wonderful.
Spend what you can afford. It's the people who go into debt to buy presents galore that amaze me.
I usually start early and get stuff when offers are on throughout the year. I do end up spending quite a bit that way overall, but getting an item each month means it's spread out and doesn't seem like a big christmas cost.

needsomeonetotalkto · 31/10/2008 09:00

I actually HATE havinh bllody toys everywhere that my 2 don't bother with.