to only spend £50 each on my kids this year?

[SmugColditz]

it never occured to me that I would be unreasonabl;e to do this, but an aquaintance of mine has said "Oh, X says she is only spending £50 each on her kios this year, I think that's really tight, don't you?"

And me being me, I told her I was only spending £50 each too (less on ds2, if I'm honest) because what the hell is the point of spending more than you can afford, and that she herself says her kids broke all their Christmas presents in 3 weeks.

And she looked horrified.

So, if you have a 'normal' or less than average income, how much are you spending on your kids, and AIBU?

We do not drink, smoke, or go out for meals in the evening etc., we like to spend time with our children as you are not a family unit for long. (Although ds will be with us forever due to his health) Our kids do have pocket money, £2 a week for ds (9) and £5 a week for dd (14) we save £25 a week we have direct debited it from our bank acc from the week dd was born. We have a mortgage and bills like most people, life is as tight for us as for everyone else. I suppose, we are bringing our children up the way we were brought up.
I will say one thing though (and I do believe I might have said the same on last years thread ... and the year befores) I felt embarrased when my middle class work collegues asked me one year what we were getting the kids for xmas; when I told them the truth they looked down their noses at me for spending more than they did. Just because I chose to by my kids a more expensive present than by a bottle of (yucky) £8 bottle of wine to drink with their sunday lunch.
I learnt one thing that day SNOBBERY WORKS BOTH WAYS.

We do not drink, smoke, or go out for meals in the evening etc., we like to spend time with our children as you are not a family unit for long. (Although ds will be with us forever due to his health) Our kids do have pocket money, £2 a week for ds (9) and £5 a week for dd (14) we save £25 a week we have direct debited it from our bank acc from the week dd was born. We have a mortgage and bills like most people, life is as tight for us as for everyone else. I suppose, we are bringing our children up the way we were brought up.
I will say one thing though (and I do believe I might have said the same on last years thread ... and the year before's) I felt embarrased when my middle class work collegues asked me one year what we were getting the kids for xmas; when I told them the truth they looked down their noses at me for spending more than they did. Just because I chose to by my kids a more expensive present than buy a bottle of (yucky) £8 bottle of wine to drink with sunday lunch.
I learnt one thing that day SNOBBERY WORKS BOTH WAYS.

Crikey - this thread is an eyeopener.

Firstly colditz, YANBU, really you're not.

I totally agree with apostrophe, I think the materialism around Christmas is absolutely shocking. The thought of spending a week of dh and my wages on our dd's Christmas presents is completely shockin .

I loathe the fact that how much you spend on your dcs is supposedly a measure of how good a parent you are.

My dad was always very strict about how much we got given as kids (he could have afforded to give us a fair amount of stuff); as an adult I'm really glad he did as it's given me a real fire in my belly to go out and earn my own cash.

A week's wages - you have got to be kidding!

I think 50 quid is very sensible - and if the money is there I would spend more on a special item like a bike or pc. Apart from the Big Item, I cruise the charity shops. We live in faiy posh area so the charity shops are laden with goodies!

There's just something a bit grotesque, really quite yucky, about the idea of spending very large sums of money on Christmas presents. For anyone, but especially for a small child.
I think birthdays are a little bit more special ... I could imagine buying something quite big and special for my child's 10th, 16th, 18th birthday etc, but at Christmas, when there are a few people to buy for all at once, and we like to think about decorations and entertaining too ... the idea of spending a week's wages on a seven year old ...? It seems inappropriate, to say the least.
I don't think you CAN be as hard up as everyone else, or you just wouldn't be able to, even if you wanted to!

For the record, we don't smoke either, and drink pretty moderately. We do most things with moderation, and that means Christmas too ....

I didn't presume that anyone smoked or drank, I was saying WE don't spend money on drink or alcohol.
To clarify, we spend a week of Dp's wages on the kids, not a week of our combined wages, and not a week of my wages.
Oh, and when they were small, the excess that was left over from their budgeted xmas money was put into their individual bank accounts.

Stewie, why are you suprised at how much we spend. I said it is what our parents did, and we have followed suit.
Look at others who have said they had very little spent on them when they were growing up, even if their parents could of afforded more, and they are doing the same.
Look at things your parents did with you when you were small, how many of those traditions do you follow.

I'm in a similar situation to KatieDD when it comes to presents. I admit I overspend, we have 2 DD's and we have spent a lot on each child. We have no other family so we do buy all the presents that they are given. I also had a childhood where there were always a load of presents under the tree. I agree however, that if you cannot afford it one year or if you do not want to buy a lot then you shouldn't feel pressure to do so, likewise though, people who do decide to treat their children more at christmas shouldn't be criticized either. We also treat them at birthdays and other than clothes etc they get nothing else in between.

My parents spent a lot of money on me generally, including Xmas. I found it very oppressive and don't intend to do the same.

Mrs Ghost, what you do with your money is entirely up to you, your choice and all that. I think what a lot of us are shocked about is the fact that you are 'flabbergasted' that we spend so little.

Judgey judgey.

Possibly "flabbergasted" wasn't the best choice of word originally - but it is however, Mrs G's perogative if she wants to save up and spend a week's wages on her kids, surely? Who does it hurt? Everyone is free to spend what they want, like someone else said it's all relative. Some people spend two weeks wages on stuff for the kids (new bedding/DVDs/"best" shoes or coat/CD player if one breaks a long way before the next Christmas or birthday) - but all the year round, so it appears they are more frugal with Christmas presents.

I agree independently that snobbery works both ways. If Mrs G is careful all year to treat her kids on a big Christmas blow-out then why should that be a issue? In years gone by people would save up to have a big Bank Holiday blow-out once a year. Just because Mrs G does it for Christmas - good for her if it suits her family

Lockets I have a 14 yr old girl, £50 quid would buy her a couple of books a pair of PJ's, a bar of chocolate and some knickers. Not a lot imo

If you can find better for £50 then I would bow to your superiority.

This year dd is getting half of a £350 puppy, an nintendo ds, and the usual in her stocking of PJ's, slipper socks, knickers, writing paper and a couple of books.
DS is getting the other half of the puppy, a skateboard and the PJ's, slipper socks etc.

I apologise, for using flabbergasted, and superiority come to that.
We picked up the puppy yesterday, and I have spent more time in the back yard than enough and now have really cold feet.

i'll be spending £50 on my dd who's 3.her birthdays the beginning of jan so i think £50 is enough.i think xmas shouldn't be just about presents and who can spend the most.my sil and bil have great delight every year in telling us that they've spent £250 each on their 2 dcs.i wouldn't mind but neither of them work.i've really cut back this year and have been buying things over the last few months in sales.me and my dd are having a baking and making day.baking biscuits,sweets,chutneys for gifts and then making personalised calenders for relatives.