to only spend £50 each on my kids this year?

[SmugColditz]

it never occured to me that I would be unreasonabl;e to do this, but an aquaintance of mine has said "Oh, X says she is only spending £50 each on her kios this year, I think that's really tight, don't you?"

And me being me, I told her I was only spending £50 each too (less on ds2, if I'm honest) because what the hell is the point of spending more than you can afford, and that she herself says her kids broke all their Christmas presents in 3 weeks.

And she looked horrified.

So, if you have a 'normal' or less than average income, how much are you spending on your kids, and AIBU?

I'm spending a tenner on each and thanking goodness that Granny spoils them rotten. I'm going with the idea that they won't notice who gave them what and when they're older they'll appreciate that we preferred to keep a roof over their head this year.
Anyone making comment on how someone else should do it should find themselves something better to do.

Mrs G my DCs have never had pocket money. With 4 of them and on a tight budget we just couldn't afford to have a regular weekly outgoing like that.

trafficcone "I still can't believe that the parents of a teenager would really say "The limit was £50" and hand them 1 Xbox game which cost £40 and a selection box and say "There's your Christmas kiddo"

Well believe it! We have been lucky in that our kids had 2 sets of GPs plus a number of other relatives who bought for them- literally a sack full (mainly tat I must say)

BUT they've always understood there was a limit. They've all worked from 16 years old so anything they want like games consoles they've bought themselves. before that they had a secondhand Sega Master System between them when they first came out, and the games are usually 2nd hand or on sale at play.com.

We've always had a budget of below about £30-40 each but have always got them the one main thing they've asked for. They had bikes when they were little- special deal from a man in the pet shop but luckily haven't wanted them as they've got older. I'm very proud of how unspoilt they are. They don't demand expensive things and were always grateful for whatever they got- even pyjamas.

They are now 22, 21, 19 and 17. The eldest and youngest have so far asked for a jumper each this year, and number 2 wants some obscure books I shall spend hours tracking down

I've definitely found it harder to avoid spending more as they get older. When DD1 was two she was more happy playing with quality street wrappers than her presents! now DD1 is four and DD2 is three and I've found it hard to restrain myself this year from buying them things as I know the fun they will get from two Barbie's that sing together in harmony etc... :-) Thankfully DH is much more sensible than me. DS is only one and we've only spent about £20 on him...

£50 sounds fine to me. I never remember having huge amounts speant on me as a child - I would get a main present, which would be a doll or something that I wanted, and then I would have stocking fillers. I was more than happy with that! I don't spend a ridiculous amount on my two - it will be under £100 on each of them, and they are 5 & 9.

Sorry "spent" not "speant!" Not sure what I was doing there!!

I think £50 is plenty.
What DS2 wants, what he really, really wants is a Familichi - I think they are about £13. We could spend more on him - but we have a house full of toys and games and are running out of space to put them, so I really don't see any point in filling our house with any more crap that the DCs are only half harted about.

I think Christmas is more a bout the traditions - the tree, stockings, the family meal,finding money in the Christmas pudding, and laughing at grandad standing up for "God Save the Queen" before the Queens speech than buying/getting lots of stuff, and then worrying about money.

Gettingbiggernow said: 'Can anyone honestly say that when they were kids they never ever wanted anything that was a "brand" for which a non-branded alternative was available? Barbie or Sindy as opposed to an anonymous 12-inch doll? Never wanted a Tiny Tears doll or an Action Man or a Lego set?'

Of course I did, but I didn't always get them. Occasionally I did, if my parents could afford it, other times I got a cheaper alternative or something entirely different. We did used to write our letters to Father Christmas saying what we would like but my mum loved to get us surprises- things we hadn't asked for- and luckily she was (and is) absolutely brilliant at choosing inexpensive, exciting presents for children. We were always grateful for what we'd got.

As a child, I recall getting a bike one Christmas and it was a very big deal. We certainly didn't get (or expect) a 'big' present every year.

I just don't believe that parents have to give in to the pressure put on their children by advertising and their peers to have the 'next big thing'. I also don't believe it does children any harm to not have branded stuff.

both my children and their father and my mother have birthdays VERY close to christmas.
Money is always an issue.

So I start buying stuff for the stockings in July, so I don't notice the sudden expense. Last year, due to an unexpected windfall, they got a Wii for xmas (but modest birthday presents, ie. £30 mp3 reduced from £60 online)

This year we have told them they will get a 'big' birthday gift, but small, token xmas gifts. And they are delighted! They don't care. All they want from christmas really, is a stocking full of uncessary fun, a nice dinner and to be with the people they love best and to have some attention and traditions to remember and make the whole season shine.

They are 8 and 10. They know we are always short fo money, but they also know that freecycle, charity shops, etc are not to be sniffed at and a present from a charity shop is every bit as valid as the latest gadget-fantastico.

Sounds fine to me. Places like The Works have lots of books, paints, games etc for one or two pounds. £50 will buy one decent big present and a huge stocking of other tat (our children love tat ).

We thought £50 was over excessive!!! weelooked at the bargain £50 train set and went home to mull it over before purchase. We only have one child.

Its not about value, surely its about buying a gift your child has wanted for a while and will play with avidly and happily for months, before it is their birthday!!!

Agree Olifin. What I was trying to say was that with the best will in the world, kids generally do, at some point, want "branded" goods such as UGGs because the label has kudos.

I also don't believe that children have to have the next big thing or branded stuff at all (far from it) just that it is a fact that they will probably want it at some stage and it is important to explain in advance why they won't be getting it if not. Not because they are spoiled brats for wanting or asking. We have to teach kids values, not expect them to be born with them automatically, as such.

I was far from spoiled as a child and couldn't believe my eyes that other kids got such things as Sindy houses or caravans or kitchens or anything else other than a single doll. Didn't stop me wanting a Glo-Worm like mad one year (didn't get it needless to say).

As children our main present was often a board game such as Cluedo (hard to imagine these days ) which we were thrilled with. We got a bike occasionally (second hand and never one which we had chosen nor did we know we were getting) plus some small stocking fillers.

We weren't spoiled at all and nor was money tight as I have said in a previous post. I just wished that for once I would be the kid with something that everyone admired.

On the plus side, I am quite careful with money and have learned to manage disappointment when I see something I really want but I can't afford - I know that I can live without it no matter how much I think I want it. This is definitely a result of my upbringing and has seen me avoid debt over the years

apostrophe you sound quite sad, i mean who could really say no to a My Little Pony ?
If 40% of toys are consumed by 4% of children and that is the other 96% of parents choice, ie they don't want to be vulgar then that statistic is probably like the other 75% of statistics, made up on the spot

KatieDD, I think you might have missed apostrophes point about the 4% of the worlds children. The remaining 96% of parents mostly do not CHOOSE NOT TO BE VULGAR re: spending loads - most of them are worrying about keeping their kids safe from war, flood, disease , oh, and feeding them!!

Trafficcone, I find your post very sad and very materialistic. You said:

"I still can't believe that the parents of a teenager would really say "The limit was £50" and hand them 1 Xbox game which cost £40 and a selection box and say "There's your Christmas kiddo"
Frankly I find that quite tight and mean. Unless you all buy toys, video games, books, dvds all year?
We don't buy anything like that except at Christmas and B'day.
A £50 limit means, you'll never buy your child a games console, new bicycle, more than 1 video game, GHD straighteners, Ugg boots, Guitar, Nike trainers, all things children over 10 like to own.
I find that sad if you could afford to but don't on some moral crusade to 'not go overboard'. "

Well, we do exactly that, except our limit is not £50, but as I said before usually £70-75. So yes, if one our children really wanted something that cost £50-60, they would get that and one or more small gifts to make up the rest of the budget. No more than that, and neither would they expect more. If they wanted GHD straighteners rather than less expensive ones, they would have to save up themselves, or we would give them say £50-60 in cash for their Christmas or birthday present, and they would contribute the rest. That's not sad or mean or tight, and I'm proud that my children are not materialistic and know the value of things.

I'm not saying they never say 'Oh, I would love x', I think we all do that, but they appreciate that some things they either can't have or have to wait for. They don't measure Christmas by what they get either, they love the little presents people have put a lot of thought into just as much as the more expensive presents.

Funnily enough, one of my children does indeed want something on your list this Christmas - a guitar. He has seen the sort he wants and knows it is too expensive to have from us. So he has asked for about £50 in money from us, he knows he usually gets a little bit of money from relatives, and any that's still needed will come either from pocket money in the months after Christmas or from his birthday in February. He is quite happy with that.

And no, we don't buy them DVDs or books or CDs or whatever all year round. They get a modest amount of pocket money each month and they get birthday presents (similar budget to Christmas). Anything else they want they have to wait and save for. Just like me really.

YANBU, definitely. And no, unknownrebelbang, YANBU either. It's very much an individual thing.

IMHO discussing how much you are going to spend on your Christmas presents with other people is fraught with danger - people get jealous & envious of those who can spend more, and the risk is that they then think they have to to keep up with everyone else, risking debt and misery later.

Also, by spending loads on children when they're young I think they can get the impression that things come too easily. They are in for a big shock when they grow up and find that they have to work hard and earn in order to have nice things!

Maybe I'm just old fashioned and nostalgic, but... why does Christmas have to mean 'spend spend spend'? What happened to family time and having fun doing simple things together?

To anyone who likes doing things on the cheap (like me) if you have not tried it already, try Freecycle, theres one in most areas I think.

DS (3) has outgrown his trike over the summer. I was looking at prices think "ouch" for a proper "big boys' bike"

(DD is 6 and for birthday last Feb we got her a new bike for £25 in tescos after christmas half price sale!!I love it when I get lucky like that)

but then a boys bike in VGC came up on freecycle. he loves it. has had the pleasure of riding it immediately, while weather was still good, not waiting till in the bleak mid winter - and his main present for christmas is now a noddy remote controlled car for £15

In many homes, last years or the year befores toys are lurking forgotten and neglected in the corners of bedrooms and lofts, many still in good nick, lots of people want their childrens cast offs to go to another loving home, freeing up space for the new stuff

put a "wanted" on freecycle and you might just get lucky and save a few quid!

gettingbiggernow, you raise a good point about managing your own disappointment when you don't get what you want. I too am a 'waiter'. I wll wait and wait and wait to see if I find the perfect thing at the perfect price, and if I don't, I will do without it. It definitely taught me patience.

Sometimes if you wait and wait to find things at the right price you realise that you don't really want it at all.

I am flabbergasted that you spend £50 per child for xmas. Dp(44) and I (36) both had a week of our dads wages spent on us for xmas when we were small, ... which was a £100 and this was in the 70's/80's. We have always done the same for our two.

Oh, shoot I forgot to say a big thankyou to all those who answered dd's question.