to only spend £50 each on my kids this year?

[SmugColditz]

it never occured to me that I would be unreasonabl;e to do this, but an aquaintance of mine has said "Oh, X says she is only spending £50 each on her kios this year, I think that's really tight, don't you?"

And me being me, I told her I was only spending £50 each too (less on ds2, if I'm honest) because what the hell is the point of spending more than you can afford, and that she herself says her kids broke all their Christmas presents in 3 weeks.

And she looked horrified.

So, if you have a 'normal' or less than average income, how much are you spending on your kids, and AIBU?

YANBU at all. I don't spend loads on DCs as I don't buy into the commercial and materialist culture and don't fall for avertising or the percieved discussions in the playground about who got the most presents. I have friends who think they must have a Wii, a DS each, this that and the other designer trainers,
and they go on and on about it to others like they are proving something, they just seem abit sad to me and tied up in competition. I think it is them they are buying for really but that is their choice which is fair enough. I would hate spoiled expectant kids too. I don't think it is good for a child to have everything. I didn't get loads as a child, friends seemed to get much more, but I was never bothered about it, just grateful we got something, I think my parents got it right. We could afford to spend more than we are doing but my (4 with one on way) kids are more than happy with what has been suggested and so are we.

See, we're all different.

Someone said they don't have holidays and instead save up their money for Christmas presents for the kids. We make savings for our holidays (of the UK camping variety) as we think that we all need/deserve some sort of break together once a year so that DH can unwind from work, we can have quality time together and the children can have some fun experiences which will become lasting memories. Personally, my own memories of childhood camping holidays are stronger than my recollections of anything I ever got for Christmas so I feel that holidays are more important than gifts.

But as I said, we're all different and others obviously don't regard holidays as very important, which I respect but can't pretend to understand.

Olifin... What i actually said was that we don't go on expensive holidays. We go away every year, just don't spend a fortune. Also, if you read my post then i explained that dh works away for 3/4 of the year, december being his longest break. He gets very little opportunity to treat the children and so yes, we do spend a lot on both gifts and food etc. We have a tremendous amount of fun at christmas and i resent your comment that people who spend more or their christmas than on a holiday means we are not giving our children "lasting memories".

As Olifin says everyones circumstances are different.
I agree with both Olifin and Barnsley that the important thing with children is to create happy memories of good family times (be that holidays, Christmas, Weekends, Days out etc).

For me the bottom line is: I will spend as much as I can afford, but I won't go into debt over it.

No, I didn't say you were not giving your children lasting memories.

Sorry Olfin, just re-read your post..
I'm just a bit wound up i think that for some reason because we spend a lot at christmas some people on here (not you) seem to think we are materialistic consumer led freaks!! Which we are most definately not.

I would never slam anyone for spending less than us, so i don't get why we are kind of slammed for spending more..

Just having a defending session!! Sorry again.

Think scatty summed it up.

I'm not really sure about how much I have spent this year for Christmas on my twins, as I buy bargains throughout the year and store them on top of my wardrobe. Therefore they moreorless get what they want for Christmas but at half the cost than if I ran out in December and got it all.

Sainsburys have had some excellent bargains this year, with Doctor Who figures at £1.62 each, and HSM 2 Gabriella and Troy gift set and Sharpay for a fiver!! I also got my son an England Shirt from Sportsworld for £3.69!!

Admittedly my two have stacks of family who buy for them so I often ask them for things that may appear on the Christmas list that I haven't accounted for..although I still wouldn't ask for things of great expense.

I don't really think it matters what you spend at Christmas as children generally have too much anyway, especially when they are young and the excitement really lies in the opening of the presents. I know people who spend £35, and I know others who spend £350, but I'm not judgemental either way.

barnsleybelle- given your OH's working situation, I can understand why you would want to make a big deal out of Christmas.

This thread is definitely emotive; like anything to do with parenting, we all seem to feel we have to justify our choices which shouldn't be the case

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the waaaaay. I lurve Christmas. Made mince pies yesterday heavily laced with whisky - none left now but not keen on how the adverts bombard us, think ds1 in particular looks punch drunk with present possibilities.

I'll admit I went OTT with dc1's 1st Christmas, not quite realising just how many other presents he'd get from everybody else. And we had more money then. But since the dcs have come along, traditions like going to Christingle, making mince pies, reading the Nativity, meeting up with family etc have become more satisfying, not spending dosh.

So YANBU re £50 on Xmas presents.

Hm...£50 is what we are planning to spend per child....because tbh, I think it's ridiculous how much people spend....I mean, christmas isn't about expensive presents!

BouncingTurtle have you tried Freecycle for a TV/DVD combo?

oh, we are planning to go out on the food this year though....after a slightly ruined x-mas last year so, we will buy special nice foodthings....

barnsley...in your circumstances very understandable that you are putting so much into x-mas....

Fairlady - I was thinking about Freecycle, but apparently it has to be a flat screen TV/DVD combo. So he is not getting one. There's nothing wrong with the one he's got.

Oh Wooolies have a 3 for 2 deal on toys btw, pick up a few bargains there as they have some toys that have been discounted.

ps... been in toys r us today and ben 10 toys are half price.

I am spending about £25 on each of mine.........call me tight, but they have everything they need and most things they want!!

I don't think it is tight to spend within your means... I was a bit that on the news they were talking about people still paying off last Xmas

fairlady... thanks. It's theee most important time of the year for us as we get dh home for 4 whole weeks. We won't have seen him since 1st sept. We adore shopping together for the children and him getting to be with the children ( and me getting a break!!).
It's a magical time for us and we all relish every moment.

i think we probably spend a couple of hundred on each child - i am being realistic as stocking etc soon mounts up

we have 6 children

the baby gets very littlle and dp and i will not get anything

we have not had a holiday this year

dp will work up until christmas eve and going by past record is VERY likely to have to go into work on xmas day

Gosh - notanotter seems harsh that you would spend several £'s hundred on each of your 6 children and not a bean on each other at xmas time....

Parents need to re-charge their own batteries too - why would you not ?

Will be spending about £50 on each of the kids but would like to think there will be a treat for me too after a years hard work and love.

We have managed to get DD quite a bit this year but it hasnt cost us the earth, i dont think in future years i will spend as much as this year but she hasnt had many toys through the year and the toys from last xmas and birthday(january) all seem a littleyoung for her now and she is out growing them. as other posters have said the price of presents really doent matter its how wanted/needed the gift is. I am quite lucky as we dont have anyone to buy for apart from DD and each other. I will prob have a picture of DD done for gp/aunts etc

we rarely do spend on one another pippi

I think its just habit and now that we have so many children we kind of need to not be too lavish with ourselves

Notanotter - know the feeling as I was just saying we spend more on the kids shoes than I do on my own (a whole other hate clarks thread I'm sure...... )

But selfishly I still want a suprise for me even if it's a tree for the garden or a magazine subsription for the year.

But I only have 2 children........

Enjoy their smiling faces!

I think it's very difficult to get it just right on Christmas day once they get past 3 - you want to see their faces light up, but because most people in this country can probably afford to buy essentials like new pyjamas and toothbrushes and slippers throughout the year as and when needed, buying ONLY those types of things at Christmas and nothing out of the ordinary just wouldn't make a special Christmas for most UK children. Unless it's special lighty-up toothbrushes or favourite character slippers that glow in the dark or whatever!

I'm afraid as much as I'd like to be all unmaterialistic about it all, toothbrushes, hair slides, soap etc is what I put in a shoebox each year to send off to children in places like Romania who really do have NOTHING, and whose faces WOULD light up when they receive it.

I remember visiting the home of some family friends one Christmas when I was little, and looking at the kids' little piles of pressies, and to me, it was mostly the type of thing that they would have needed through the year anyway - eg deodorant, shower gel, gloves or whatever. I just couldn't help feeling that I, as a little girl, personally woudln't have felt thrilled at ONLY getting those as presents if that had been me, and I remember feeling sorry for them.

Now of course, as an adult I am thrilled to bits with the above, I would rather have things I'd actually use, be it something "day to day" or a bit more special, rather than yet another manicure set that I don't need. But I recognise that kids are different and not as practical-minded and most would rather have "fun" stuff, however tacky or impractical we as adults might view it. It makes me that my nearly 5 year old says a book is "not a proper present" (unless it's a Thomas the Tank Engine annual or a train book!), but then I remind myself that when I was a child, I thought much the same. I turned into an adult who LOVES books (I work in a library ) and my number one present to receive now would be a book or book tokens!

What I'm trying to say through all this waffle is that kids have very different views on what they find thrilling to what WE find thrilling, and we have to try and balance that with not going OTT with spending and buying into the consumerism issue too much.

God, that is so off on a tangent from the original OP. Sorry......

what is an average income? how do we know what is average ?
we are on £900 guess thats normal

I am not spending any money on DS1 this christmas. He is getting a card and thats all.

DS2 I am not sure what I am getting him he is going to be 15m old.