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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want my parents to sell their big house so they can give me some money to build an extension

106 replies

darkpunk · 28/10/2008 18:59

their house is too big...my house is too small...my mum is always complaining about the up-keep. they live in an inner-london (trendy middle-class) dump, crime is so bad they are scared to go out after mid-day.

if they sold, they could move near me, much nicer area, and i could see them everyday...plus i could build the extension that i need now.

i think it's a perfect solution....well, 99% of me does.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 28/10/2008 19:00

You're not unreasonable to want that. But you'd be unreasonable to expect it.

NomDePlume · 28/10/2008 19:02

I'm with you on the moving out an area they are sacred to live in and downsizing if the house is too large too manage, but I'm afarid I think YABU to think/expect that if they sell up that you are enetiled to any of the equity they have.

NomDePlume · 28/10/2008 19:02

I'm with you on the moving out an area they are sacred to live in and downsizing if the house is too large too manage, but I'm afarid I think YABU to think/expect that if they sell up that you are enetiled to any of the equity they have.

mrsmaidamess · 28/10/2008 19:03

lest we forget

mrsmaidamess · 28/10/2008 19:03

wrong thread sorry!!!

Saturn74 · 28/10/2008 19:04

It may be your perfect solution, but perhaps it wouldn't be theirs.

scaryfucker · 28/10/2008 19:04

maid, I don't understand

compo · 28/10/2008 19:05

yabu
and do you really want to see them everyday?

scaryfucker · 28/10/2008 19:05

ahhh, phew lol

AbbeyA · 28/10/2008 19:05

You just have to leave it to them.

traceybath · 28/10/2008 19:05

nice idea in theory but houses aren't selling at the moment

AbbaFan · 28/10/2008 19:07

You could suggest it, but nothing more really.

ComeOVeneer · 28/10/2008 19:08

You are totally unreasonable (and seriously self centred tbh) to want them to do it so you get something out of it. You aren't unreasonable to want them to move to a better area for their safety, and be pleased if that in second place it benefited your family.

Original poster
darkpunk · 28/10/2008 19:09

i know the market is slow..but if i put the idea to them now..they could think about it, and hopefully come around to my way of thinking...just as the market picks up again....which it will...eventually.

OP posts:
brimfull · 28/10/2008 19:10

when I am old and have some money I hope my kids don't expect me to hand it to them on a plate.I want to bloody enjoy spending it.

YABU.

Get a loan and pay for it yourself.

ilove · 28/10/2008 19:11

Who's to say they are going to give you ANY money at all? Either while they are here or once they have passed away? YABVU

KatieDD · 28/10/2008 19:11

Ah so you're happy to wait 10 years then fair enough lol
Get on with your own life and build your own extension.

hatrickortreat · 28/10/2008 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SalBySea · 28/10/2008 19:13

nan-in-law lives in a TERRIBLE and I mean terrible area in London.
She's been offered houses near her kids but she's old and stuck in her ways and has lived there since here kids were small (it used to be an ok area. she's prob the only origional resident left)

It might make perfect sense to you for them to sell and move but they have their own way of thinking and it is their home and their money and even if they did sell I do think it would be unreasonable for you to think the money should go to improving your house. Any extra cash our parent have is theirs to enjoy their retirement with.

Original poster
darkpunk · 28/10/2008 19:14

well you know what...when i'm old and rattling around in a big house, i'd rather sell up and let my kids have their inheritance while i'm alive to see them enjoy it.

OP posts:
Heifer · 28/10/2008 20:15

Agree with all except your last point.

I think they should use to money to go on a very expensive holiday, and buy lots of things they don't need.... tis their money not yours...

SHOULD they have any money left when they die, AND they decide to leave it to you and not the local dog?s home, then of course you can decide to build an extension....

You sound a peach of a daughter...

God forbid that they should need the money themselves one day and feel that they can't spend it as you obviously have it mentally spent already!

BreevandercampLGJ · 28/10/2008 20:18

Ladies

It is half-term.

twinsetandpearls · 28/10/2008 20:22

When I am old and in the big house I have worked hard to achieve I will happily sell it to release the equity. I will then spend it on travelling the world, drinking outrageous champagne and pleasuring myself on the best male escorts money can by.

kaz33 · 28/10/2008 20:23

Actually I don't think it is unreasonable for families to look after each other. If your parents were old and infirm mumsnetters would expect you to look after your parents to the best of your abilities and if you were rich to help support them. So why should it not go both ways??

And why do we think that our parents should go on expensive holidays as if that is the thing which makes life worth while.

Must admit that I am slightly biased as my parents have three houses and we live in a three bed semi and can't afford an extension at the moment and after all a large amount of their wealth is from buying houses forty odd years ago.

myredcardigan · 28/10/2008 20:23

It's not your inheritance, it's their money.

You're just having a humphy moment surely? Like when I say people who stop in shop doorways should go to prison. I am, of course, being unreasonable.

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