to want my parents to sell their big house so they can give me some money to build an extension

[darkpunk]

their house is too big...my house is too small...my mum is always complaining about the up-keep. they live in an inner-london (trendy middle-class) dump, crime is so bad they are scared to go out after mid-day.

if they sold, they could move near me, much nicer area, and i could see them everyday...plus i could build the extension that i need now.

i think it's a perfect solution....well, 99% of me does.

LOL at Bree, but hey, what the hell

YABU. Earn the money yourself for your extension!

what if they sold up and decided to keep the money in case they need nursing care, or in case they want or need to pay for private or supplemental treatment if they fall ill, or buy funerals with it, or take a holiday of a lifetime or buy a villa in Spain now the market's crashed there?

it's unreasonable to expect them to hand over money from the sale of their home.

heifer..the problem is they wont spend any money on themselves, ive told them to do all the holiday stuff..they wont...

maybe i'm not the best daughter in the world..but i'll never put my parents in an old peoples home, i'll look after them.

"By darkpunk on Tue 28-Oct-08 19:14:37
well you know what...when i'm old and rattling around in a big house, i'd rather sell up and let my kids have their inheritance while i'm alive to see them enjoy it. "

Erm, it's not an inheritance until they're dead. Neither your nor they know what lies ahead - they may need the equity to pay for nursing care, for example. Or perhaps you'll have them come live in your lovely new extension?

expat...they're both late 70's...they wont be buying villas in spain.

it's their house and their money to do what they please with.

get your extension now and enjoy it and then if they decide to sell up later and give you the money it will be a nice bonus.

My dp helped my MIL to buy a house about 20 years ago, when she sold it to live with her partner she had a lump of equity. We actively encouraged her to spend it, much to my BIL dissapointment. She did leave us some money which has helped but we never expected it. I have made it clear to my mum that I am not expecting any inheritance and I hope she enjoys every penny she has worked hard tp earn.

hattrickortreat.

'expat...they're both late 70's...they wont be buying villas in spain.'

maybe not, but it's still unreasonable to expect them to hand over the money for your extension or even to sell up.

it may seem like a good plan to you but unfortunately it's their house and then, when they sell, their money.

plenty of folks that age do buy abroad, though.

our neighbours are in their late 70s and have a villa in the South of France.

I hope I'm buying villas when I'm in my late 70s....it's not as far off as I'd like.

Both in their late 70's, well tell you what, in that case unless there is longevity in the family you won't have long to wait.

If you are for real, you are a disgrace.

I'm going to spend my pension on slutty shoes, rent boys, gin and fags

yeah well... maybe some do..but mine wont..it's an adventure for them going to sainsburys ...they arn't the travelling type.

Smug if you like I will let you join me on my cruise, my dd won't need the money.

I'm nipping round to your parents' gaff tonight with some glossy brochures. They'll be sailing the high seas before you know it

You sound very dismissive of your parents, I hope my dd won't write me off in my seventies. But if she does I won't worry I will use her inheritance to get some counselling .... in Los Angeles.

I have told this story before on MN.

Years ago, when I was living away from home, I rang home.

The week went like this...

Monday...Hello Dad how are you ? Is Mum around ?? She is just getting ready, we are going out to the cinema.

Tuesday... Normal phone call...

Wednesday....Sorry your Mum is just getting ready we are off to the Opera.....

Thursday...Normal phone call.....

Friday...Can you make it quick, we are just going out for a pizza and a glass of wine.....

LGJ to DDad..... are you spending my inheritance ??

DDad.....can you hear that.....?? (sound of thumping on wall)

LGJ...........Yes.

Good... that is all you are getting bricks and mortar. There won't be a penny left.

That is the way it should be.

With respect people, this is why the rich get rich and the poor get poorer, it's all very well working all your life to blow the lot on gin and fags and rent boys (none of wich I'd disagree with) but seriously I intend to leave behind a healthy pot for my children, investments and pensions, not just a pile of bricks for them to hopefully time the market right and be able to fund an extension.
I also hope to have raised children that when I do die they won't be sat waiting to count the pennies because they won't need to they'll have made their own way in the world.

I wish my parents had lived until their mid 70s! Not often I get pissed off on MN but your attitude sucks!

Maybe they don't spend money on themselves because they worry about the future. Their house is their comfort zone, they know that if they need the money for important stuff (ie not DD extentions) then they will have it there....

If off their own back they decide to sell up and offer to give you some money, then fair enough, but you should not mention it to them ever... needs to be their idea not yours...

yabu of course

i wish they would travel...i wish they'd do lots of things..but they wont. sorry if i sound unreasonable..i'm pissed off and fed up...gonna put the kids to bed and open a bottle of wine.

expat...come here

Love that story, BreevandercampLGJ!

YABU as I think it's extremely rude to expect others to look after you, whether they're your parents or not, if you're capable of surviving on your own.

I'm shocked that people would even suggest their parents "owe" them an inheritance.

However, wanting your parents to move somewhere nicer or closer is NBU, but then wanting the cash to use on your extension is not right imo.