to want my parents to sell their big house so they can give me some money to build an extension

[darkpunk]

their house is too big...my house is too small...my mum is always complaining about the up-keep. they live in an inner-london (trendy middle-class) dump, crime is so bad they are scared to go out after mid-day.

if they sold, they could move near me, much nicer area, and i could see them everyday...plus i could build the extension that i need now.

i think it's a perfect solution....well, 99% of me does.

rindercella...we have only had 3 quotes...lowest £30,000 and two £35,000..we then thought about a conservatory..that quote came in @ £18,000...we live just outside london so i guess that's why prices are high....i would happily pay for it myself..i did go and see my bank, but they told me to go away.

I think when I am 80 if I'm rattling around in a big house I'd swap with my kids, I mean doesn't that make more sense rather than waiting for me to snuff it they (which ever child was most in need) could have my big house and I could have their 2 bed starter home, everybody wins.

Maybe, KatieDD, but it should still be your choice (and imo you that offer this).

OP obviously not trying to force / guilt trip her parents into doing this, so this is in reply to previous post only.

If you really would take them in to your house then I think there is something to be said for them contributing before they die. My dad and his siblings have fallen out over splitting the estate of my gran. Some contributed a lot to her care over many years and others feel they are equally deserving. If your parents did decide to help you out then they could keep their will as an even split without causing too much upset.

Good luck trying to get them to move nearer though. I think that is a worthy aim.

They will need that equity as a cushion.

My parents never spent their money and had reasonably good savings. It's a good job they did. My dad had a stroke out of the blue and needed expensive 24 hour nursing care as mum was too wobbly to nurse him herself.

Those savings enabled him to live out the last year of his life in the house he had lived in for 50 years, with his wife by his side and everything familiar around him. He died in his own bed, looking happy.

A nursing home would have been hell for him.

That's why old people need to keep their own money.

Their money their choice! Why should they give you their money? Grow up!