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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit perturbed by somebody taking a small girl to the gents loo?

139 replies

FourArms · 27/10/2008 09:29

On a family day out last Saturday, I saw a bloke take a small girl (over 5, under 10 - rubbish with ages!) into the blokes loo. I think that there was some kind of single dad's trip on - lots of blokes with kids came off a coach at the same time. I can understand him not letting her go to the ladies by herself, but there was a vacant disabled/baby changing loo which they could have used.

I've got no problems with boys of any age being taken by their mums into the ladies - there's nothing to see after all, but I'm not sure about a girl being taken into the gents where she might see other blokes using the urinals.

AIBU to be a bit wierded out by this? Luckily for me I've got two boys, so will continue to take them to the ladies with me / use a disabled loo as appropriate. I know that there was another thread about letting boys use a gents by themselves recently, but this feels a bit different to me.

OP posts:
SparklyGothKat · 27/10/2008 09:51

OMG all the men could have been paedophiles!!!! What are men supposed to do, go in the ladies???

hattyyellow · 27/10/2008 09:53

I'm confused - how do you know that she was left outside the cubicle by her dad - if you only saw her being taken in to the toilets?

mamadiva · 27/10/2008 09:53

Maybe it was the girl who needed the loo and she would go into the cubicle. My dad diod it with me in Blackpool all the time when my mum wasnt about because he would rather have me stand outside a cubicle than stand outside the loos in the middle of the pleasure beach by myself.

misdee · 27/10/2008 09:53

oh FGS

its a penis! not a weapon of mass destruction!

DANCESwithLordPsGhost · 27/10/2008 09:56

LOL misdee - quote of the week I think

solidgoldskullonastick · 27/10/2008 09:57

Little girls will not die from an inadvertent glimpse of a pissing cock, you know.
I am of the opinion that all toilets should be unisex anyway, what's the big deal? Most places never have enough 'ladies' so I quite often use the men's.

lucykate · 27/10/2008 09:57

dh will take dd to the loo if he's out with her on their own, he wouldn't use the disabled/baby changing one for fear of a mnetter chasing him out as he's neither disabled or has a baby to change, you can't use a disabled parking space without a blue badge, he wouldn't dare chance it with a loo

Moomin · 27/10/2008 09:58

Presumably he wasn't holding her over the urinals and actually used one of the cubicles?! Dh does this all the time (take the dds to the men's loos I mean) and the only thing I bother about is that he puts a layer of tissue paper on the loo seat!

Paranoid is the word you used and I agree. I think it's awful that men can't do normal family things on their own without someone getting all New-of-the-World-paedos-around-every-corner about it. Tis a shame.

misdee · 27/10/2008 09:58

i juast asked dh what he would do, he replied 'well i'm not about to take them into the ladies am i?'

dd3 does ask why men stand to pee though lol.

kslatts · 27/10/2008 10:00

My dh would have taken my dd's into the gents until recently if he was out with them, now they are older they go into the ladies and dh waits outside. If he was out with only dd2 who is 6 he would still take her in the gents.

I don't think it's weird, but I also don't have a problem with boys coming into the ladies changing room at the swimming pool either.

mamadiva · 27/10/2008 10:01

Why mus people hate the news of the world its the only paper I read

Yes yes that explains alot about my POV then

There should be some sort of panic button for men to press if atking DD's to public loo.

A big shiny red one with a talking siren that shouts ''DD COMING INTO LOO COULD ALL MEN PLEASE VACATE I REPEAT PLEASE GET OUT AS'

I dunnoe am being all weird and sarcy today....

SparklyGothKat · 27/10/2008 10:01

I took Ds1 into the ladies until he was 7, and DH still take DD1 and Dd2 into the gents (they are 7 and 8 now) DD1 has learning disabilities so can't be left in the ladies by herself.

DD2 did try to wash her hands in the urinals once tho

edam · 27/10/2008 10:02

Why would a glimpse of a man peeing be so dreadful? You sound very Victorian. 'Oh no, a willy, she'll be scarred for life!'

MorningTownRide · 27/10/2008 10:04

YANBU and quite horrid.

Dh is a SAHD.

If he is out and about with ds (2) and dd (3) I assume he would take them into a gents, I have never asked him.

As you have never been into a men's loo, may I enlighten you on what happens?

From my experience (going into nightclub loos!) and from dhs descriptions, men are more worried about other men looking at their willies and tend to be very discreet.

Anyway, dd finds willies fascinating so I'm sure if she saw one that wasn't her daddys she'd say "Ooooo willy"

No win situation?? What a plonker

bozza · 27/10/2008 10:05

My DH takes DD into the gents if I am not there. She is only 4 mind you and I think they use a cubicle together as I do when I take DD. If we are all out together DH would take DS and I would take DD. But DS is 7 and will go in a cubicle on his own.

Moomin · 27/10/2008 10:05

(I only used the NOTW as an example as they were the ones who were campaigning for Sarah's Law and it drove the pitchfork-wielders into a frenzy on some estates a few years back)

CapnJadetheKnife · 27/10/2008 10:06

YABU and weird.

I wouldn't have thought twice about it.

Buda · 27/10/2008 10:06

DH hates having to take DS into the gents! He reckons they are never clean and it is better for me to take DS to the ladies. DS is 7 and I still take him to the ladies with me and will continue doing so. If we are out and he wants to go by himself I send him to the ladies too.

Re the OP - it does feel a bit odd that a Dad would take a DD to the Gents but it shouldn't really. I do remember years ago a friend took his 3 yr old DD into the gents showers/changing rooms and she was excitedly pointing out all the men with willies. Bar one. She never commented on him. Friend said he felt a bit sorry for him!

RedOnHerBeheadedHead · 27/10/2008 10:13

"Although being inside the cubicle with him would have been even worse"

WHAT?????
HE WAS HER FATHER FGS!!!!!

I have an almost 4yr old and I bath with him and he sees me changing and naked quite regularly! I see nothing wrong with this, and would think that many people feel the same. We have had the talk about inappropriate touch and private parts, but theres nothing disgusting about the human body. Men have penises women have vaginas and breasts - GET OVER IT!

There is nothing wrong with a father taking his daughter into the gents with him. I've been in the gents and they don't show anything! At that age, all a willy is used for is weeing!

TheWomanWhoAteTraffic · 27/10/2008 10:15

Unless a group of rugby boys having a 'how far can you piss contest' were in there first no issue at all.

RedOnHerBeheadedHead · 27/10/2008 10:21

@ "how far you can piss contest!"

joyfuleyes · 27/10/2008 10:22

YABU & very silly really.

NomDePlume · 27/10/2008 10:23

YABU

weird for it even to occur to OP imo

ratherbesleeping · 27/10/2008 10:24

Agree, agree, agree

There is nothing wrong with it and I'm sorry but you come across as ever so prissy.

mrsgboring · 27/10/2008 10:25

Ladies loos are always crowded because they're full of children (who would be traumatised by going in the men's ). Men's loos are always disgusting because they rarely have the civilising influence of men needing to take their kids in and therefore requiring it to be less revolting in there. Can anyone suggest a simple solution to this?

FWIW I wandered into a men's loo on my own aged about 5 and lived to tell the tale. Twas only quite a lot later on that I realised it was quite unusual to have a chat with a friendly male stranger whilst washing my hands.

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