in getting so fed up of being skint and having to read about people who claim to be skint bbut are buying games consoles for their DC when mine will have to have whatever I can scrape from the charity shop or freecycle?

[conniedescending]

I know this is a bit 'living in a council house with flat screen tv' and I'v always been hugely against benefit bashing threads but I'm wondering if the worm has turned?

we are struggling to pay the essentials, my DH is working all the hours he possibly can in a job thats not going well at all (due to loss of customers due to aforementioned credit crunch) meanwhile I'm working from whenever he gets home till 1/2 am, 6 days a week trying to make up the shortfall.

Have had a disastrous week as washing machine packed up and my mum is on holiday so I can't use hers. I have a baby in cloth nappies so have had to buy disposables. Have spent all morning or the last few days handwashing clothes and deserately trying to get them dry which is impossible in this weather. Cant get to launderetter because car needs mot and we have no money to do that.

Then I saw some small toy items on freecylce that I asked for and hoped I'd get because the lady who was offering them has had several items from me (curtains, breadmaker and some hardly worn shoes). Anyway - she's not gifting me them (was hoping they may be okfor xmas pressies).

so I come on MN and read threads about people on benefits who are skint and have 'only' bought nintendos ds'or a wii...........

honestly have no clue how we are going to get through this - we have eaten into both our overdrafts, looking to increase income in everyway possible, have cut back everything to the bone. There is no safety net there now at all and I am starting to really worry.

We have a wedding we're supposed to go to next mth as well - god knows how we are going to make that, plus birthdays galore.

cant see the wood for the trees at the minute

I do feel sympathy for anyone struggling right now, but if benefits are so good why not pack in your jobs? If people really believe it's so wonderful I'm surprised they still choose to work.

Oh and I do have a flatscreen TV as it happens It's not very big and I'll be paying for it for another year, but you can't choose to buy the old type and pay less. Not in the catalog I got it from anyway.

The last TV was decades old and I repaired it once myself when the on/off switch broke. This time something melted and burned and there was no salvaging it.

i'm not saying benefits are great - but they are more stable

It's no use being bitter, if you're skint you're skint, if other's are not, and also not working as hard as you, then why get bitter about it? What's the point?

And why does everyone have to try and compete at how poor they are?

I've got nothing but I'm actually doing alright.

Single parent on benefits. Yes, ONE OF THOSE.

I'm lucky because I have a large family, so after xmas, birthdays and hand me downs, my ds wants for nothing.

I don't own a car so that means I don't need a gym membership to keep fit - I walk everywhere and I don't have to worry about the expense of running a car.

I don't own my home, obviously I'd love to but how can I complain? I've got a roof over my head.

I've been to a wedding WITHOUT a gift, yes, without a GIFT - because the bride was my friend and I knew my being there would be far more important than getting a present she doesn't need.

My family give me all the things they don't need so that I can sell on ebay for a bit of spare cash. It takes up a lot of my spare time, but I'd rather have a bit of extra money to buy the odd 'luxury' item.

I would love to start work when my ds starts school, but unfortunately I would never be able to afford the rent. This is the catch 22 situation a lot of people like me find themselves in. I am on the council housing list but it's virtually impossible to get anywhere. But I have hopes for the future, I don't think it will always be like this, there must be a way out.

I could compare myself to my lucky friend who was born rich and never has had to work but I don't (I just let her take me out to lunch instead!)

'i'm not saying benefits are great - but they are more stable '

not really unless you've got a social landlord - HA or council.

I think "being skint" is relative to what you are used to. I tell my friends that we are poor at the moment but we aren't really. We are lucky. I am just choosing to extend maternity leave, makes me "poorer" than usual.

Also, unless some of us are logged on for free at the library (?) we are all pretty fortunate to be able to afford internet access.

I dont think that you can make judgements on people because of this, because no one knows the reality. Also, Christmas means different things for different people. For some families this may mean extravagent presents (fortunately my DD is too young to know about this!) and for others Christmas may be an opportunity to just spend time together. Its peoples privates lives and its up to them.

yeah it does suck - but I@m trying to make the most out of a bad situation.

some people save all year for xmas and such.. and budget even hard to do so.. whether they are on benefits or not.

I don't think that being fed up with ones own finacial situation has anything to do with others situations or their finances or how they deal with their budgets tbh.

oh and another plus side is that if we do manage to sell, even if we have to go £10k under the asking price I'll should still end up with a little bit of money out of it so I'll save that for next Christmas - so we'll have two nice Christmases in a row!

this year I will be buying my kids presents on my littlewoods account. I can't afford to pay outright this year, they will be getting £20-30 spent on them each. I will not be buying Wii's or PSP or DSs this year. I am on benifits. I am struggling this year, I don't know how we can afford to buy food some weeks...

you are right Reallyspooky.......my financial situahtion has nothing to do with other peoples. Will stop feeling sorry for myself soon

is this littlewoods account interest free??

"not really unless you've got a social landlord - HA or council."

Very true expat - I'm faced with 2 choices

, apply for a HA house, pro - longer term security in terms of where I'll be living. Con's - wouldn't get one until I was actually homeless, and would almost certainly end up back on the estate where we had so much trouble before we moved here.

1. Rent privately, I'll have more choice in finding a suitable area to bring the DS's up in, but it'll be hard to find a landlord that takes HB, and also there's no guarantee that I won't have to move again if they decide to sell up/kick me out for some spurious reason.

connie - I get 80 days interest free on most purchases (actually haven't found anything yet that hasn't had the interest free payments option lol) which in effect works out at 3 months.

The minimum payment (if you don't pay the interest free amount) is usually ridiculously low - but interest is very high - so you've got to do your maths carefully before ordering if you want to avoid paying any interest at all. Can be very useful if you use it wisely

However, I can see how those on a low income that don't budget their money well, or max out their account balance quickly can end up in the shit with it and end up paying for years.

"i'm not saying benefits are great - but they are more stable "

Yes but look at the downside. People on benefits are usually stuck in a house they cannot stand in an area they cannot stand and are often forced to send their children to sink, dead end schools. I'd LOVE to be able to get a mortage, to own my own home...to have SOME choice in where I live and where my kids go to school but because I am on "benefits" I have to put up and shut up basically.

And yes, I am trying to find work but it's not easy. I doubt many people CHOOSE to be on benefits.

Also, most of the stuff I have bought the kids for christmas has been bought with money I made from selling stuff on ebay...then bought second hand xbox/wii games etc with it so its not as if I'm walking into GameStation flashing my cash around.

fair enough Mrs Snape I see your point amd I'm pretty sure the vast majority don't choose to be on benefits either

I guess I'm just more fed up of working so hard constantly, being tired and snappy with the kids because I'm stressed out. It's pretty shit when the income from one full time job and a part time job (neither at minimum wage I should add) are not even covering the essential bills.

There are always these threads on mn.

'My friend is on benefits and bought new t-shirt. Bloody hell i would be better off on benefits'.

'Your cleaner gets 7 p/h? Bloody hell i ll come to clean your house then'

'My au pair wants to eat dinner. Bloody hell you should give her plain rice or value pasta with no sause. They have it so easy these girls'.

'My nanny wanted to have 10 min lunch. Bloody hell you must suck her'.

'My neighboor is single mother and has tv. Bloody hell it is easier to be single mother'

What do we want? To see all those people fainting from starvation or going around with extra miserable facial expression so that we feel better for ourselves??

nail on head, tira.

Tiramissu, I hope you are not referring to me. I am on benefits and I DID buy a new t-shirt but it was from a charity shop, but of course it was covered in sweat stains, and I am paying for it in installments AND it's the first new t-shirt I have bought since 1989.
Does that make anyone feel better?

I used to be a single parent on benefits when i met my DP. I was in privately rented accomodation paid for by housing benefits. I didn't have much, although to be fair my DD never went withtout (generous granparents) so that was never a struggle for me. My DP was also on benefits although he was at college getting a trade meantime. We had NO money really. I did have a dog, that DP bought for my birthday and thats what we did when he came to see me (three days a week as he lived away), we would take DD to the park, take the dog for long walks in freezing cold weather. Dream about the future.

Now, we own our own house, whenever my DP earns any money (he is self employed) it is never enough - and he earns fairly good money. We constantly row about finances, i am on medication and the worry about keeping a roof over our heads is devestating. OK, we probably do have more money now than then, but i suppose we spend more, although on what i don;t know lately. We do have debts but i am not including those because i think even despite debts at the moment, trying to manage would still be pretty tough.

When i look at how we were back then - we were just so much happier. We had nothing, so we had nothing to lose IYSWIM. As i said, i had supportive parents so that made it easier than some have it i guess.

I certainly don't think people on benefits have an easy time of it AT ALL, but sometimes i do wonder if we would be happier if we just threw our hands up in the air, sold the house, rented and went on benefits. That is nothing to do with being a scrounger, it is just wondering what it is we are really fighting for? Something to leave our kids? Might be better for them to have happy parents NOW! Respectability? Does money buy that then? seems it might . Really, all our stress would go away, but i think i just have grassisgreeneritis. I have to remember that we were in a new relationship back then, we had a future to look forward to that was going to be so much better - its easy to forget i suppose.

i would hardly compare lack of games consoles with starving - but I take the point.

LMAO at the unfortunate typo in your post tiramasu

em I ed at the too lol

conniedescending, I do understand how it feels and I do sympathise with you. I was in your position 8 years ago when I was still with my children's dad. He would work all night and sleep all day...we never got to see each other and then we couldn't even afford a day out or the odd take-away whilst my friend...who was on benefits was going abroad twice a year etc.

It's hard not to feel bitter about it, I know I did at the time but if I'd known then that I'd soon be living like I am now, I don't think my feelings would have been the same IYSWIM?

The grass always seems greener on the other side but it isn't really, it just tastes fresher for a while.

exasperated - I really do think you have a very good point. All this credit crunch talk doesn't really scare me because - I am already poor, I can't really get THAT much poorer. I have nothing, so I have nothing to lose! My budget is small and simple. I know people who own property, cars etc. and are running around like headless chickens at the moment. I'm used to being skint, I'm used to budgeting and going without. It's amazing how much money you spend if you have access to it. Even if my house got burgled right this minute the only thing I have of value is my computer.

Connie I see other people with loads of things but they just don't need them - all the gadgets, clothes, whatever that they are paying out for. Most of these things are unnecessary and my kids don't have many of the things their friends have - but - they don't want them and are happy with what they have.