in getting so fed up of being skint and having to read about people who claim to be skint bbut are buying games consoles for their DC when mine will have to have whatever I can scrape from the charity shop or freecycle?

[conniedescending]

I know this is a bit 'living in a council house with flat screen tv' and I'v always been hugely against benefit bashing threads but I'm wondering if the worm has turned?

we are struggling to pay the essentials, my DH is working all the hours he possibly can in a job thats not going well at all (due to loss of customers due to aforementioned credit crunch) meanwhile I'm working from whenever he gets home till 1/2 am, 6 days a week trying to make up the shortfall.

Have had a disastrous week as washing machine packed up and my mum is on holiday so I can't use hers. I have a baby in cloth nappies so have had to buy disposables. Have spent all morning or the last few days handwashing clothes and deserately trying to get them dry which is impossible in this weather. Cant get to launderetter because car needs mot and we have no money to do that.

Then I saw some small toy items on freecylce that I asked for and hoped I'd get because the lady who was offering them has had several items from me (curtains, breadmaker and some hardly worn shoes). Anyway - she's not gifting me them (was hoping they may be okfor xmas pressies).

so I come on MN and read threads about people on benefits who are skint and have 'only' bought nintendos ds'or a wii...........

honestly have no clue how we are going to get through this - we have eaten into both our overdrafts, looking to increase income in everyway possible, have cut back everything to the bone. There is no safety net there now at all and I am starting to really worry.

We have a wedding we're supposed to go to next mth as well - god knows how we are going to make that, plus birthdays galore.

cant see the wood for the trees at the minute

Message withdrawn

Connie, sorry to hear you are having a rough time. Fwiw there is no point in wondering about, or judging, others on mn. It is not going to make you feel any better, and may upset them, which is unfair as you don't know their circumstances.
But you can get plenty of advice and help and support on here. Quite a few mners are in the same boat and Christmas doesn't have to be expensive. It is just a roast dinner and a few presents, if you can't afford fancy games it won't harm your dc's.

Ooh I like that

tsk at buying a nintendo. Shouldn't you be getting bread and water?
We did start saving a couple of quid a week in Jan but the stupid ceiling sprung a leak and I had to pay a man to patch it up and lay a tarp over the whole lot.
But the boys are teens and understand and dd is 4 and too young to notice Xmas - although when she had a seizure 2 Xmas's ago we got pressies in hospital as she went in on crimbo day.

Well I'm a single mum on benefits and I wanna know where my flatscreen TV is

Not that I'd ever have a hideous large TV anyway, house is so small we are sat 3 foot from the little one we have so get a similar effect surely?

DD will not be getting lots of expensive presents for Christmas and I don't feel remotely bad about it. She is being brought up to appreciate what she does get, and to have reasonable expectations.

But if I wanted to buy her a Wii, I'd remind you that I have the right do what I like with my £9bloody7 quid a week.

We are broke, we have been for the past couple of xmasses and it shite. Will be doing the charity shop christmas again this year - DD is only three so it doesn't really matter. Also, i have gotten quite into bargain hunting (it really can be quite a skill!). To be fair, if there is anything specific my DD wants, if it is too expensive, my mother will buy it - i am very lucky in that respect.

What i think is really sad is that, people, often on benefit, are made to think that unless they spend x amount of money or have the latest electronic gadget then they are bad parents. So they end up taking out provident loans, putting xmas presents on credit cards and being up shit creek without a paddle. I think the whole "must have" society we live in has a lot to answer for.
It almsot becomes like a competition after xmas at school - kids turning up with ipods, mobile phones nintendo ds's etc etc, so is it any wonder parents feel they need to compete. I think it takes quite a strong parent to limit the toys etc, regardless of income. I feel bad if there are not lots of presents under the tree, and then there is so many fecking toys etc that i don't know what to do with them.

you've got a big mortgage, IIRC.

could this be part of the reason things are so tight just the now?

hope it clears up for you soon.

am not on benefits myself, but things aren't always what they seem for folks on benefits is my guess.

DH got a brand new mobile, but he used all his birthday money for it and it's PAYG.

his was duff, anyhow, an auld piece he got from a friend.

he suggested to get me a new one for Xmas, mine's a friend's old leftover she didn't want and that didn't sell on Ebay, but i'd rather have yummy food .

I am wondering why weddings cost guests money? (I've only ever been to one wedding and that was 16 years ago). If its travel costs can you skip it?

oh, the ILs stayed in this lodge this weekend that had a flat screen.

now i'd not paid attention to TVs before, as i'm more a cosmetics, housewares and nice jumpers person rather than a gadget person and am a philistine when it comes to technology.

but i have to admit the picture on that TV was FAB!

I wouldn't nominate anyone on the back of a thread near Christmas. I would only nominate for situations I KNOW have been ongoing etc.

what thread? What should I do?

no one is happy when it comes to money and spending on mn it seems to me

oh i'D be happy spending it Zippi

I used to work somewhere where most people were on minimum wage or just above.

There was a lot of budgeting.

A christmas club
On payday, you gave an amount to someone who put it into a savings account. In Dec/Nov the account would be closed and the money and interest divvied up.
(We did this when I worked in a bank so not just a 'minimum wage' idea! We also had a holiday club at the bank - as did those at my other workplace. They'd put aside a tenner regularly, book cheap travelodge rooms and have a weekend away, all budgeted for)

A birthday club (pay a pound every time it's someone's birthday throughout the year and when it gets to yours, you'll get a lump sum equiv to the number of people in the club - about £30).

A lot of small local businesses offer Christmas savings club e.g. if you know your child will need a new bike.

And even Tesco/Asda offer savings clubs. In fact, IIRC moneysavingexpert recommends these because they pay out bonuses and it can work out to a very high rate of interest if you time it right.

I did it like that by accident anyway KM

"people, often on benefit, are made to think that unless they spend x amount of money or have the latest electronic gadget then they are bad parents."

Erm, yes, that is why we get it... Ok, maybe I am different to the "norm" but WE are getting our "latest electronic gadget" because after 5 years of buying AS DD toys (any price) to play with that a girl her age should like and her barely touching them, we have decided to get something we know she likes and will appreciate.

What exasperatedmummy said

I also think that the people who have the least tend to be very conscious of that and feel more of a need to spend lots of their money on unimportant stuff like games consoles for DC.

agree with NDTH - it's also a bit off starting a thread about a thread.
Just gone on whoever's thread your refering to and say your piece (you will come across as a bitter old thing but at least you'll have had your say)

don't forget one person's idea of poverty is a whole different ball game to yours
someone with a massive mortage will think going from earning 40k to 20k is disastrous whereas some of us can only dream of earning that amount of money

but for the house thing, zippi, i'm pretty happy as long as i get my hot little hands on that bottle of Jago vanilla voddy from Shetland and that hunk of smoked salmon from Loch Fyne with fresh brown bread that is going to be all mine!

ooooo, that is going to taste soooooo good.

i'm even searching the net for a tasty dressing to make to go with it.

the Jago's going to be ice cold from the freezer.

i'm going to have it all in front of the fire whilst the baby sleeps and all these times he's made me ill are going to melt away like that flaky, smoky salmon in my warm mouth!

Was that to me NeedMoreCoffee? It was in response to a lot of "i'm skint" threads that pop up around appeal time

Wow - you paint a hell of a picture expat!

expat
DH better get me something. I turned 40 this year and got sweet FA. Not even a bloody card. Am still cross.