in getting so fed up of being skint and having to read about people who claim to be skint bbut are buying games consoles for their DC when mine will have to have whatever I can scrape from the charity shop or freecycle?

[conniedescending]

I know this is a bit 'living in a council house with flat screen tv' and I'v always been hugely against benefit bashing threads but I'm wondering if the worm has turned?

we are struggling to pay the essentials, my DH is working all the hours he possibly can in a job thats not going well at all (due to loss of customers due to aforementioned credit crunch) meanwhile I'm working from whenever he gets home till 1/2 am, 6 days a week trying to make up the shortfall.

Have had a disastrous week as washing machine packed up and my mum is on holiday so I can't use hers. I have a baby in cloth nappies so have had to buy disposables. Have spent all morning or the last few days handwashing clothes and deserately trying to get them dry which is impossible in this weather. Cant get to launderetter because car needs mot and we have no money to do that.

Then I saw some small toy items on freecylce that I asked for and hoped I'd get because the lady who was offering them has had several items from me (curtains, breadmaker and some hardly worn shoes). Anyway - she's not gifting me them (was hoping they may be okfor xmas pressies).

so I come on MN and read threads about people on benefits who are skint and have 'only' bought nintendos ds'or a wii...........

honestly have no clue how we are going to get through this - we have eaten into both our overdrafts, looking to increase income in everyway possible, have cut back everything to the bone. There is no safety net there now at all and I am starting to really worry.

We have a wedding we're supposed to go to next mth as well - god knows how we are going to make that, plus birthdays galore.

cant see the wood for the trees at the minute

Christmas Eve!?

Only pubs are open at 6PM around here (Western Highlands) on Christmas Eve.

You'd be screwed if you waited till then.

I like to get things delivered, because shops are thin on the ground here, but sometimes run into the 'Are you on mainland?' fracas, so I need to leave lots of time for that.

i find it funny that frustratedmumof3 feels she is hard up earning 60k between them you wanna try living off 22k before tax between you and see how that feels with mortgage etc then you will know what its like to live with virtually no disposable income each month. each months a struggle and you barely out the red into the black before you're living in overdraft again. 60k really feels like heaven im opinion.

needmorecoffee,
sori to jump in on this thread but have you heard of 'The Family Fund?' or you can google Joseph Rowntree Trust they are there with funds for equipment in relation to your SN child They help with supplying washing machines, Holidays, even driving lessons if you are on a low income.
They will offer you financial help until your child reaches 16.
They have been a lifesaver to me over the years but now my DD is 19 shes 'off their list'.
e-mail me if I can be of any more help x

Connie 'understand life on benefits is hard....but, at least u dont have to work for the money'

Oh dear. What a mistake. We 'work' 24 hours a day caring for dd and dh has to do what I can't cos I'm disabled too. All for 17p an hour carers allowance. Haven't been out with DH in over 5 years, not had a family holiday for 8. We never get a break. When dd is at school (mornings only) we deal with SS, therapists, doctors and try to clean the house.
'don't have to work'

yup thanks Salsmum. Am applying to Family Fund for a washing machine as old one is on its last legs but we're saving the Rowntree trust for the adaptations dd needs. SS will only pay the first £30K and the whole thing has been priced at £43 (flipping hoists are ££££££)

right - think I should clarify that I did not mean people caring for severely disabled children. I was talking about people with NT children who are able to.

I suppose I should have said 'at least you don't have to hold down a job for the money'.

As for cutting back outgoings - this makes me laugh. As if every famiy who works has skytv, gym memberships and buys fresh flowers every week.

We pay mortgage, utilities, food, insurance (life, house, car)council tax. Thats it - there is no money to save because we earn less than those basics cost. I cant get a littlewoods account because I have no money for the minimum payment because we are getting further and further into our overdrafts each month paying the essentials.

I have contemplated us both working fulltime but cant work out if we would be better or worse off because I can't work out tax credits. We have 4 children, 2 school aged, 2 not, so how I would work out childcare (and pay for it) I have no idea. I can;t use entitled to to work it out because we have been overpayed in past so have no clue hoew it would work and what they'd take for the overpayment.

I really should stop looking at what other people are doing for xmas I know....but right now I have no clue how we are going to afford the next food shop, never mind xmas presents.

If you are sure you are getting all the CTC you are entitled to then the only way is to reduce outgoings.
very single penny helps so switch everything off at the plug.
Keep heating off unless you have a sick or disabled family member who might need it.
Give up meeat. It costs too much.
Don't buy clothes/makeup/newspapers/lattes.
Change energy/phone packaages for something cheaper.
Get rid of car if its possible to walk/bus as they eat money.
As for Xmas, young children really don't need very much. dd is 4 and will get nothing. She's too young to notice Xmas or have a concept of 'mine' or 'presents'. The teens get £50 each we have saved up all year. We don't eat anything different on Xmas day cos we can't afford fripperies.
Sell stuff on ebay.
Cos dh will never work full time again we have had to become used to living like this and will do until we're pensioners when we'll freeze to death no doubt.
Already told ds1 that when he turns 16 next year he is to get a job and contribute.

thanks needmorecoffee - I have been around the houses with tax credits about the overpayment...get absolutely nowhere.

the only thing we haven't done is sell the car...we can't afford to mot it or put fuel in so I suppose its an option (but its old and not worth much).

Really need to increase income - seems only option.

you can have a huge mortgage on a very modest house though

sell the car. Its costing you road tax and insurance.
We have had a motability car this summer but we now need that £44 a week for the heating for the winter. Total pain as most of the buses in this city are not wheelchair accessible. But heat or conveniece of being able to get to hozzie without waiting 3 hours for a low rider bus to come along....

was is 'disposable income'? Is it what is left are absolute essentials like bills and mortgage and food?
But then I guess poeple have differing views of 'essential'. My MIL thinks being able to buy clothes is an 'essential' but I don't.

Hi Connie,
I'm sorry you're having such a crap time at the moment.

Re working out whether or not you are better off full time - you can make an appointment with either the CAB or the benefits advisor at the job centre and they will go through all the finances with you to give you a figure for what you would earn and what benefits you may be able to claim.

Re the washing machine - for any items like that there will normally be a lcal charity who will supply refurbished/donated white goods and furniture at extremely low prices to anyone who is struggling financially or receiving benefits. Your local council will be able to give you the details.
If you can't do that, then local independent second hand shops are pretty good, last year my other half managed to stab the freezer with a screwdriver (DON'T ASK) the day before christmas eve letting out all the gas.
Hence emergency trip to local second hand shop and a new freezer for £45.

Re the mnortgage - can you remortgage to pay over a longer term to reduce the monthly payments? Ie, if you have 15 yrs left on the mortgage remortgage for 25 yrs?

If i were you i would go and see and independent financial advisor and get him to give you some options re the mortgage.

Best of luck. x x

Don't go to the wedding.

As for Christmas, there is no need to view buying gifts from charity shops or getting them from Freecycle in a negative way.

hello op, and everyone.
god i hate these threads!! (sorry, but i do)

fwiw, i have experienced rather 'rich' christmases and very 'poor' ones, if you talking in material terms.

however both were with my immediate family, eating what we did have, playing with toys we had, and watching 'crap' films on the tele!!

both experiences i look back on as pretty much the same.

imo christmas is a family day, time to take the phone off the hook, worry not about the housework, and concentrating on being with you family.

this year i know it will be a 'poor' christmas, but you know what, i am not sad about it at all. i will make sure we have a pleasant meal together (chicken instead of turkey, this is not a sacrifice, we prefer it anyway, so bonus!!)
and the dcs will receive presents, books, craft stuff, dvds, that you can pick up pretty cheap.

i got 3 board games from charity shop last week, and am looking forward to playing these over christmas and having a laugh with my kids.

Cant be arsed anymore with the mentality of 'woe is me, i cant afford a wii, for my kids'

i know the best christmases i spent as a kid, (and my parents are actually well off, but they never ever spoilt us) were the ones when mum and dad actually smiled, and actually spent time with me and my 3 sisters, not just throwing handfulls of presents at us, then arguing about how much the whole lot had cost!!!

i personally think christmas has gone mad!!

Well said Matilda! Actually, I prefer chicken too.

bUT TO BE FAIR mATILDA, i DON'T THINK THE OP IS (sorry! caps lock on) posting an Oh woe is me i need a Wii.
I think her issue is more that she is not bringing in enough to pay the bare essentials each month and Christmas coming up has just about been the straw that broke the camels back.
I shoud think she is more worried about paying the mortgage and buying food than about buying a games console.

yes, I am worried about the bare essentials. Not sure my kids would like a wii or whatever anyway.

we have 2 birthdays to go yet nevermind xmas.

husband going to see if he can repair washing machine tonight as I cant face another day handwashing stuff and cant get to a launderette

Connie, have you tried freecycle for a washing machine? I know its a longshot but someone was giving away one on ours last week and a few days ago someone put a "wanted" request on and a day later had a "recieved" post up so someone must have given them one.

Soz if its already been suggested.

yes I might try that - feel but guilty asking for a washing machine though....its a big ask!

'We pay mortgage, utilities, food, insurance (life, house, car)council tax. Thats it - there is no money to save because we earn less than those basics cost. I cant get a littlewoods account because I have no money for the minimum payment because we are getting further and further into our overdrafts each month paying the essentials.

I have contemplated us both working fulltime but cant work out if we would be better or worse off because I can't work out tax credits. We have 4 children, 2 school aged, 2 not, so how I would work out childcare (and pay for it) I have no idea. I can;t use entitled to to work it out because we have been overpayed in past so have no clue hoew it would work and what they'd take for the overpayment.

I really should stop looking at what other people are doing for xmas I know....but right now I have no clue how we are going to afford the next food shop, never mind xmas presents.'

But connie, that is life for the vast majority of people! It's a hard slog, particularly when we chose to have kids and have a large or large-ish family.

That's how it works out a lot of the time.

We're a working poor family, always have been, but to me, thinking, 'Well, I'm entitled to have an easier time of it' is no different to someone who is genuinely a scrounger thinking hte world owes them a living just because they're themselves.

Why should it be easier for me just because I'm me? See, I don't get that. It's like people who have a special needs child and think, 'Why me?'. Well, why the hell not? What makes you so special that you're exempt from any bump in the road in life?

There's no savings for us, no mortgage, no pension, debt left over from tax credit cock up and all that kind of stuff.

Well, it's a big club with a lot of members!

But I don't see the point in being angry about it anymore or thinking others have it better when you don't know the full story.

I wouldn't swap my lot with a lone parent for all the flat screen TVs in the UK. It's no easy ride no matter how you slice it.

It's just burning daylight better spent trying to work things out or at least having a bit of fun how you can.

So other people have more money? Good for them. Getting worked up about isn't going to open the portal between our bank accounts and change my balance.

The number of threads on here about 'How will I afford Xmas' just goes to show you how engrained consumerism and materialism is in our culture, that we panic and worry incessantly that we can't spend the amount of money we want over a one-day holiday. Makes us look like a bunch of spoilt brats, tbh, considering what's going on in the world nowadays and compared to just two generations ago.

Life is short.

Too short to be spent angry and ranting.

'Either get busy living or get busy dying.'

newspiritsforoldghosts.... im sorry, i have been reading quite a few christmas 08 threads, and i think i posted my message on the wrong one!!!!

i do apologize to the op.

however i do think we all get far too het up at christmas, and it does not have to be a lavish affair, just a family day, with a roast dinner, and some quality time with the family.

i understand your worries, i REALLY do (in same boat, so to speak) but i refuse, to allow it to spoil the one day, when we are free from these worries as such. (albeit not for long!!)