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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think FIL should have kept his mouth shut!!!!

58 replies

tonightsthenight · 19/10/2008 15:50

I don't post much, normally lurk. This is my first AIBU so please be gentle!!!

DP and I have been together for 4 years and own a house together. FIL is a financial advisor. DP and I were sorting out our wills and we sent them to FIL to basically advice and help us.

Anyway, I didn't know what was in DPs will, turns out he is leaving everything to me. Well, I have a cat that ive had for many years since long before DP. I had put in my will that half was to go to DP and half to my Mum to look after the cat.

After seeing the wills FIL rung up DP to tell him about my will, the contents of it basically that I was leaving half to my Mum. AIBU to think it was totally not hos place to do this? AM soooo angryy!!

OP posts:
moondog · 19/10/2008 15:52

It's a lesson to you on how to never mix business with family stuff.
Not on at all.

FimboGotAxed · 19/10/2008 15:52

I understand you being seething about what your fil did but I cannot fathom why you wouldn't want your dp to know the content of your will.

moondog · 19/10/2008 15:52

But would you have told dp anyway?

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 19/10/2008 15:52

Your FIL should have kept his mouth shut, so YANBU on that, but YABVU to leave half to your cat.

SimpleAsABC · 19/10/2008 15:52

Isn't stuff like that confidential?

What kind of cat is it that it'll require half of everything to maintain it's lifestyle?

Sorry thats a bit cheeky but probably mild compared to some of the others I'm sure will be along soon

scaryfucker · 19/10/2008 15:53

thats what you get for doing this kinds thing within the family

you should have given the will to a complete outsider

however, I agree, FIl is out of order

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 19/10/2008 15:53

Well, tbh, I am amazed that you hadn't discussed the contents of your wills before sending them for your FIL to see. If I were your DH I would be very unhappy, not so much about the contents of your will but the fact that you let his Dad see it without even telling him what was in it. Why did you do that?

Twelvelegs · 19/10/2008 15:54

Half to a cat????
Both of you are unreasonable.

scaryfucker · 19/10/2008 15:54

are you regretting your 1st AIBU yet

morocco · 19/10/2008 15:54

it's the wrong question!

yanbu about fil if you consulted for his professional opinion and paid

yabvu about the will though. what on earth does your mum think??

(secretly suspect this story to be 'not true' but is quite funny)

spicemonster · 19/10/2008 15:55

I think it was out of order of your FIL to do that but I think you're very naive to ask your FIL to do your wills when you know that yours contains something potentially explosive?

snice · 19/10/2008 15:56

How much does it cost to keep a cat for God's sake?

Dropdeadfred · 19/10/2008 15:56

hmmmm...strange that your DP didn'r know the contents anyway?

crokky · 19/10/2008 15:56

Are you planning on not outliving your cat????????????????????????????

Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie · 19/10/2008 15:57

i cant understand why your dp wouldnt already know.

so is your dp not happy?
bet the cat is.

Twelvelegs · 19/10/2008 15:57

If you are only worth £20 then all is good!!

mabanana · 19/10/2008 15:57

Is this for real?? OK, assuming it isn't but playing along anyway, why on earth haven't you told your DP what's in your will? And why if it was a secret did you give it to your FIL? I'm not even going into the cat nonsense. Madness all round.

Geepers · 19/10/2008 15:57

this must be a troll post surely.

no-one would leave half their worldly goods to a cat over her husband.

Would they?

Freckle · 19/10/2008 15:58

Why didn't you leave it all to your dp on condition that he care for your cat? Why would you expect your mum to look after your cat but not your dp?

Blu · 19/10/2008 15:59

I see that despite the Fabio Fan Club N is not completely moggy loco

Now, how did you expect your FIL to react?

onebatmotherofNormanBates · 19/10/2008 16:01

lol at "a cat that ive had for many years since long before DP".

Blu · 19/10/2008 16:01

P.S I could look after your cat.....

How much longer do you expect your cat to last? Just out of interest, of course....

lulumama · 19/10/2008 16:03

Oh!My!God!

were you not going to tell your DP!??

YABU but you can be as capricious bonkers and malicious as you like in making your will, as long as you are compos mentis when you write it

how very odd

mabanana · 19/10/2008 16:04

Yes, we have a bowl and everything. No trouble! Does it eat a lot or something?

merryandmad · 19/10/2008 16:07

Potentially then OP's DP could be made to sell their house, to riase cash to buy his partners mum out- because she is keeping the cat. Agree with Freckle- this would have been a better solution.
Unless of course the whole cat scenario is fiction to enable OP to leave half her house to her mum.
Agree with others, why did she keep it from her DP?