To be slightly irritated by the parent who never responds to any of our class rep letters

[gameboy]

I am class rep for DS1's class. Think I'm fairly low-level - not in-your-face sort of mum.

Lovely class - all mums very friendly. We do the usual stuff - occasional coffees, christmas night out, school fair, etc

All mums except ONE have given e-mail addresses for contact, which obviously makes it easier to organise stuff, as I work part-time, and am not always at the school door. The one who hasn't just gave us her mobile.
OK, I respect someone's right to privacy, so whenever I send an e-mail out to the group, I print out a copy, put it in an envelope and send it via the school. And, if it's a coffee morning etc I've sent her a text reminder too.
It's a bit of a pain, but I wouldn't mind except for the fact that she has NEVER replied or acknowledged any of my notes, invitations, or requests for help - not even to say, sorry, no I can't come/help.

It's as if it's just disappearing into a black hole!

It happened all last year for the last class rep, and now it's just beginning again this year.
I've just been sitting here printing out a class list to send her (went via e-mail to everyone else) and I'm thinking 'why bother' - perhaps I shoulod just drop her off the list if she doesn't have the decency to reply?

BIWIT, you seemed to be extrapolating and assigning motives to gameboy, that certainly werent evident if you read all her posts.

dd2 is in one of these small schools, where essential info is sent out via parent helpers. Drives me up the wall.
Everyone has to work a certin number of hours for the school each year, or pay a fine (it is a private kiga, before everyone screams at this).

I just paid up last year - it was about the same as what I would have had to pay to babysitters if I had worked the hours for the school.

Gameboy.

I'll erm, check my diary or something and um, get back to you. Or maybe not. We'll see.

Gameboy - have you sent a text to the mum inviting her to Costa Rica?!

My DD will be going to a small village school and I'll expect the school to inform me of anything I need to know, not some ruddy parent "helper".

And they can forget it if they think I'm going to be dipping into my pocket - we pay for her education through our taxes,not school bleedin' fairs and parent B-B-Qs.

Think the OP has had a bit of a battering here! Would it not have been good manners for this woman to say "Thanks for sending me this stuff but I don't need it from now on"?
I think she was taking the p slightly to ask someone she'd never spoken to to act as emergency childcare for a work meeting! When there's stuff about school closures etc I don't think it's too much to ask that she keeps her contact details updated, especially when she has someone contacting her asking that very question!

We have someone like this. However, I don't go to any special effort to contact her. I put the child's name on the list so that he'll be invited to parties etc, but I have no idea who the mother is.

I've heard that she doesn't speak English and that's why she doesn't answer any notes.

if she doesnt speak english, she will be completely isolated from the school.

she probably doesnt have teh faintest idea what you are all up to, or what's expected of her.

Mulanmum - do you have any children at school yet?

I think you'll find that schools tend to have limited resources and funding from the tax system.

I think you'll also find that the 'ruddy parent helpers' who are good enough to give of their own time (for free)do tasks and jobs that will SAVE the school admin costs and perhaps help fund an extra trip, or book, or even just allow them to afford the basic school necessities.

And I think you might discover that the 'bleedin' fairs and parent B-B-Qs' (did you forget to include the "f-ing" in that sentence perhaps?)are what make the difference between your child being able to go on a farm visit or have a theatre company visit....

Sheeesh!

Hear, hear The Management - lovely attitude from Mulan. Hilarious. Yes, the people who organise fairs etc etc etc quite literally have nothing else to do with their day.

I'd challenge Mulan to find any school that doesn't do fundraising via parents. Sad but true. And private schools are just as bad, if not worse I have heard. And in that case you have forked out for taxes AND fees.

I do love the "anti-class rep" stuff - I also remember a thread about 4-6 months ago which was about whether you have class lists and the tenor of response was that it was like living in a police state etc.

There are a lot of threads on here about how people like to/want to live in communities and then a lot about how its an affront to be invited for coffee by "busybody" classmates parents or contribute cakes to cake stalls.

I have been a class rep once before and had a very similar issue. FWIW my view was just to keep on giving the info whether or not there was any response - that my "job" as a class rep was to pass out the information, and it was up to the recipient as to what they did with it.

I work full time and easily managed to slot in being a class rep. Our "coffee mornings" are always at 8.30am straight after drop off, so even people who work often can manage a quick coffee.

I was the course rep at uni for a year and did sod all expected people to find me if they had a problem. I never had anything amiss to report at the termly meetings .

I appreciate that this is slightly different kettle of fish but I think you're worrying unncessarily. There are some Mums at my dd's school who write out memos about social nights out etc and these are distributed to the children to leave in their desks bring home. If they don't get a reply from the usual suspects, they collar you or someone who knows you to get an answer, yay or nay. Some people will never mingle with other parents. I would say I could name some people who don't go on these nights out or attend stuff at the school becuase I can't - as they don't attend them and I'm not at the school everyday so I wouldn't know them from Adam. You'll have to do what you feel happiest doing. Why not suggest the class reps get a noticeboard and any non-confidential info can go on there? Then everyone knows where to look, no one need provide email or mobile details and it's saving you some work.

anchovy - I love the idea of being able to fit in "a quick coffee" at 8.30 but unless you're going to have it an hour away from the school near where I won't, I still worn't be there!

I'm not syaing its impossible to WOHM and be class rep but being out of the house from 8am -6pm and commuting to work isn't generally condusive to coffee.

I forget people may work locally, around here the majority of people have an hour commute into London.

but anchovy...alot of people find the whole "coffee morning" thing very boring... having to pretend you enjoy being with other parents when really they bore the arse off you....iv'e never heard of class reps..we have a p.t.a.... that's enough.

Yes, I have about a 45 minute commute into the City, but if I have coffee from say 8.30am to 9.15am can still be at my desk by 10am. Which is ok once in a while if I have nothing specific on. Probably only have coffee once a term so its not a regular occurrence. There was one last week for DD's class which I couldn't make as I had an early meeting and there is one for DS's class this week which I probably can make. That'll be it for the term, I suspect.

Its actually quite easy working and being class rep because I spend a lot of time at a computer so can easily do all the email stuff during the course of the day. Plus I think working FT makes you a bit more bossy well organised!

yes actually - thinking about it I am being a bit obtuse - of course I could go in late once a term.

I am also very --bossy- focussed. Will sharpen up my pencil in anticipation of shcool in a couple of years.

bossy

Gameboy - think you have the best intentions, and are simply being conscientious by attempting to ensure this Mum is informed and included. I think the fact that you have to treat her 'differently' (due to lack of email address) highlights her unresponsiveness everytime you send out communication.

Agree with others that you should continue to inform her, but leave it at that. It is fairly clear that, for whatever reason, she doesn't wish to be actively involved.

I think that the complaint here should be about the school. If they are using class reps to basically do their business then why on earth can't they help them by providing a notice board or putting info in the kids bags like other schools do? We don't have class reps, and I've never heard of them before. We have an active PTA, parent governors etc but information about school is from the school, and so it should be. I would not want to give personal information to anyone other than the school. I am sure parent volunteers have the best intentions, and good for you for volunteering, but I think that parents should opt in to such social groups and not have to opt out, which is I guess what this Mum is doing. She may feel it is socially unacceptable to say she is not interested, or she may feel that you are obviously OK with sending her stuff, she may well think this is done by the school in any case, as opposed to you just being nice.

If I were you I would explain your concerns to the school, and ask them what they are going to do about it. If they feel it is inappropriate to put an envelope in the child's bag, then I would send a final note to the Mum saying e-mail or nothing, and ask her to contact you if that is a problem.

Management - my child doesn't need to go on a farm visit or theatre trip as part of her school education. We take her trips to the theatre, etc.

Before DD I was a primary school teacher so I know that schools can provide the essentials. If PTA wants to fundraise for extras - let 'em, just don't ask me to bake a cake or buy one.

never heard of class reps

rather controversially, our school hands out info re: curriculum

we have the odd meet-in-pub-for-drink with other mums/dads - a small photocopied note was passed to all parents, twice last yr iirc, when dd2 was in Reception

with dd1 - I just meet the parents I like for drinks/meals/outings

never heard of class reps here either.

Never heard of parents meet-ups and coffee mornings either.

TBH it would not be something I would really want to get involved in. I have a busy life and when I get a spot of free time, I would choose to spend it with my mates.

With regad to the OP - This mum is probably not interested, but (sorry not read the whole thread if said before) but can you not ask if she is happy to continue receiving notification of stuff or is it something she would rather not get involved in.

forevercleaning

some of them now are my mates

Maybe she is just not interested.

You could ask her one last time if she'd still like to hear from you, unless she says specifically she would like to, I'd not bother her anymore.

Gosh Mulan as an ex-primary school teacher I would have thought that you would have appreciated all the work that PTAs do. And aren't you and your DD lucky that you are able to take her to the theatre etc. Not all children have that opportunity.

What a curiously limited approach you have to what constitutes "education". To me, the trips and visits, if done properly, can be as educational as a day spent in the classroom. And how sad that you feel that being asked to attend a BBQ or bake a cake is a massive encroachment on your time. My child has started school this year and whilst I have a very wide and varied social life, I welcome the opportunity to meet lots of different people and become part of our wider community. How insular and limiting to view school as for education and nothing else.

Agree Turnip. Very odd.