To be slightly irritated by the parent who never responds to any of our class rep letters

[gameboy]

I am class rep for DS1's class. Think I'm fairly low-level - not in-your-face sort of mum.

Lovely class - all mums very friendly. We do the usual stuff - occasional coffees, christmas night out, school fair, etc

All mums except ONE have given e-mail addresses for contact, which obviously makes it easier to organise stuff, as I work part-time, and am not always at the school door. The one who hasn't just gave us her mobile.
OK, I respect someone's right to privacy, so whenever I send an e-mail out to the group, I print out a copy, put it in an envelope and send it via the school. And, if it's a coffee morning etc I've sent her a text reminder too.
It's a bit of a pain, but I wouldn't mind except for the fact that she has NEVER replied or acknowledged any of my notes, invitations, or requests for help - not even to say, sorry, no I can't come/help.

It's as if it's just disappearing into a black hole!

It happened all last year for the last class rep, and now it's just beginning again this year.
I've just been sitting here printing out a class list to send her (went via e-mail to everyone else) and I'm thinking 'why bother' - perhaps I shoulod just drop her off the list if she doesn't have the decency to reply?

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I'm a class rep. Would continue to send her hardcopy letters, don't push for email address or a response, and don't let it bother you that you don't get a response. Would say you are doing well if there is only one person ignoring you. Channel your energy into the valuable work you are doing and get used to the fact that some people just aren't interested, but keep her copied on the letters. You never really know whether someone isn't interested full stop or just has too much on their plate at any particular time to get involved.

i certainly wouldnt want you ringing me up

Agree with Lilo.

Gameboy - I feel sorry for you. I was in this position as class rep for three years and have now given it up as a result. The mother I am thinking of refused to give the same £5 donation to a Christmas fair stall which every parent in the school donates to - as I had already ordered our stuff and was effectively getting money back from people she left me out of pocket (it wasn't that she has money worries - this is a designer clothes mother). She doesn't reply to party invites or anything and although people are busy etc. in my case I am afraid I concluded the mother I was dealing with is just rude.

I think you can only carry on doing what you are doing and send out all the correspondence as your conscience will remain clear that way and stop you from feeling guilty that she may feel excluded. One day she may take you by surprise and respond but in the meantime just never expect a reply and then you can't be disappointed. After that just look forward to retiring from being rep next year!

just accept it and carry on as you are, some people are just like that.
Dont take it to heart

and expecting people to donate is
why shpuld they?

does everyone turn up for a coffee morning??

can't imagine that

agree, if I were organising something like that I would def not assume that I would get the money back from everyone.

look what you have started now gameboy

why is it rude not to respond to what is effectively school generated junk mail

If it were me (probably will be in a few years) then I'd probably like getting the info, and a couple of times maybe I'd intend to reply or attend. But I'd be too busy or would forget.

I certainly wouldn't realise you were expecting to hear from me, or that you were reading so much into my non reply..

Some people just have more going on in their lives than they can easily manage, and stuff that doesn't seem urgent falls by the wayside!

Er, thanks for these so helpful perspectives ...

Actually, it's NOT all "timewasting twittering" and I don't have dull life thank you very much...

The school actually works really closely with the class reps to pass on information, so the sorts of things that they pass on include:

• updates to the termly curriculum
• Q&A feedback on homework/ policies etc (saves 16 parents all going in to ask the same thing)
• copy of presentation made on teaching styles
• updates on sports fixtures etc

and yes, the usual occasional coffee, fundraising christmas fair etc.

I think I've made it very clear I'm trying to do the best thing here, but if you keep trying and trying and get no response (positive or negative) then it's rather difficult.

I don't give a flying f*ck whether she comes to anything/ everything or not, it would just be helpful to get some sort of acknowledgement that she even ever gets the information.

I was class rep last year, a role I was glad to get rid of this year

I would leave this mother alone. I had parents not respond to things, and as far as I am concerned my obligation was to lead the horse to water but not to make it drink. I put the info out there to allow others read/respond/partake as they saw fit.

I think this mother, by not responding, is telling you to back off and leave her alone. So do.
And if ever she turns to you and asks why she was not invited to x, y, z you can say it was because she did not give you her email.

Although in my school all class rep business is done via a notice on teh class room door - so everyone can see it daily

YABU - I have a good friend who doesn't have ane email address, has PAYG mobile phone and is very busy. There is no law which says you HAVE to have an email address!
If she is anything like my friend, this woman probably does not have the time to reply, money might be a bit tight so she may not think letting you know she can/can't do things is worth spending credit on her 'phone, especially if she does count you as a particular friend.
Give the woman a break. Keep sending notes, and sending her text, you never know one day she might decide she does want to get involved. Just try not to lose any sleep over it

sorry meant doesn't count you as a particluar friend!

The money thing is a nightmare - not my idea but a long standing tradition in the school. Everyone pays five pounds towards setting up their class stall - for example if you are doing Santa you buy the presents which get handed out etc (once you have got over the complete hassle of finding Santa volunteers!)- I say why not bin the fair and all just make the donation to the charity and save everyone the trouble! The £5 contribution was so much trouble that I think that alone was good enough reason never to be a rep again - I should listen to my Mum's advice 'Never volunteer for anything!'

well all those things you mention are just info

nothing to reply to

Thank goodness we don't have class reps .

Hmm. I can see your problem.

Tbh, I would just ask her whether she is keen to have the info sent (and explain that everyone else recieves it by email) or whether she'd rather opt out. Hopefully you could put it in a jokey way, sort of "I don't want to keep bombarding you with paper, but I thought you should get copies of what I email to the others and you don't have email do you? Would you rather I didn't send you the stuff?"

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leave the poor woman alone. she clearly isn't interested - her perogative.
god if I had to reply saying "i'm not coming" to every single 11.30am coffee morning I'd shoot myself

i think some parents have enough to do tbh, admire you for taking on the job...but most parents really couldn't give a toss...well not at my school anyway.

My goodness, I would feel a bit pestered by all that if I was the woman in question tbh. Her lack of response tells you all you need to know surely.

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