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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to slap the doctor for her annoying comment in the hospital

59 replies

chipsandtart · 05/10/2008 21:11

took dd1 to the hospital drop in today cos she has a supisious rash and has been poorly.

dd is 21 months and the doctor asked if i had any other children and i said i had two ds's aged 4 and 10 weeks. she replied 'oh you have a 10 week old and a 20 month old you poor thing'

i was so pissed off i feel like the luckiest women in the world having my gorgeous children even with the small age gap and its not that much hard work
why is everyone so negative when you have 3 kids esp when you preg

OP posts:
savetheplanetdontiron · 05/10/2008 21:13

YABU - she was probably trying to be nice and human which is a skill to be cultivated in any member of the medical profession. Some doctors can be very arrogant. Maybe she had her kids close together too and remembers it was hard work. Mine are 2 years apart and I am totally gut-wrenchingly knackered 99.9% of the time even though I love them more than anything in the world

noonki · 05/10/2008 21:14

YABU

I don't think that was unfair she was trying to be sympathetic - however lucky you must feel it is also loads of work!

exasperatedmummy · 05/10/2008 21:20

i have been known to say "bugger me, thats a close age gap, was it an accident" and "you must be mad" along with "i dont know how the hell you cope". Im not known for my tact but none of those comments are meant to be patronising just recognising that having children so close together is fecking hard work. Sometimes though i wonder if that is offset by having them play together - i couldnt do it, so hats off to you. I think you ARE lucky btw, i have a 15YEAR gap between mine and that was harder than i expected for other reasons.

MsSparkle · 05/10/2008 21:21

YANBU. What a thing to say! She didn't sound sympathetic to me, she sounded rude and like you having 3 children with a small age gap was a bad thing.

mytetherisending · 05/10/2008 21:22

YABVU she was just trying to acknowledge that it can be hard work having 2 very small children, which it can be. Get a grip!

Original poster
chipsandtart · 05/10/2008 21:25

i see what you are saying, i just get fed up with people being so negative all the time i guess, right from when i told people i was pregnant.

OP posts:
MsSparkle · 05/10/2008 21:30

Then there's the other end of the stick which is when your dc gets to a certain age, people start saying the annoying "So when are you going to have another one then," comments.

People just don't know when to keep their gob shut

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo · 05/10/2008 21:35

EMPATHY

YABU - so there!

PumpkinPatty · 05/10/2008 21:49

I think she probably meant well. She was obviously seeing it from her POV - she would probably find it difficult with two very young children.

I agree with you though you are v lucky

Hope your DD is feeling better soon.

onthepier · 05/10/2008 21:52

YANBU, Chipsandtart, her comment does sound negative.

I remember several years ago now, being in town with my friend + running into a lady we used to work with who'd recently given birth to twins. She had them with her in the pram + at the exact moment I congratulated her, my friend said, "I feel so sorry for you!!"

The lady's mouth dropped, she was looking pretty good considering she only gave birth 4 weeks before, + was proudly pushing along her gorgeous newborns! People really should think before they say things.

controlfreakinfreaky · 05/10/2008 21:55

oh yes. give her a slap why dont you. she definitely deserves it. what a cow.

did she help your dd or did you storm of due to her extreme rudeness?

ScottishMummy · 05/10/2008 22:01

an innocuous comment acknowledging your commitments has been taken out of context.over reaction methinks

mygod she showed an interest in your social circumstances, didn't just stick rigidly to a set of symptoms.

and you are unhappy?

want to slap her?
aye go on kick her too, she deserves it, heh

anyways enough of that.is your lo okay?how did this resolve.you must have been v worried

congratulations on your pg btw

BigBadMousey · 05/10/2008 22:14

YABU - god knows I was fed up with the comments when I was pg with DC3 - everyone has an opinion and they're going to tell you whether you want to hear it or not. I think in this case she was probably trying to be kind and acknowledging that, at that particular moment, things may have been hard for you (worrying about DD1 and having a young baby too). I think most people do find it quite hard work.

That said you were probably worried about your DD1 and thus can be excused for any over-reaction.

chipmonkey · 05/10/2008 23:13

She probably just meant that she felt sorry for you with a sick dd and 2 very small children. I think YABU but I can see why if you've been getting negative comments from the start.

ScareyBitchFeast · 05/10/2008 23:18

did the doctor even have children, or was she very young and childfree - ?

at least she was making conversation, and she was being sympathetic! what more do you want?

macdoodle · 05/10/2008 23:39

Wow what a cow

bebespain · 06/10/2008 08:10

Annoying comment? Blimey!

Like SBF says at least she was making conversation and being sympathetic.

You should try the Doctors in Spain. Last time I had the displeasure of seeing one I was asked what was wrong with my face (high-colouring) and that I should get that checked out I wouldn´t mind but I was there for a check-up after a lung infection I had had.

Give me UK doctors any day of the week

Libra1975 · 06/10/2008 08:19

Overreaction from OP! are you sure you are getting enough sleep with 2 children under 2?

belgo · 06/10/2008 08:23

that was my thought, overraction due to sleep deprivation, I echo what the doctor says, 'poor you chipsandtart'

princessglitter · 06/10/2008 08:39

I don't think that was an bad thing to say tbh.

Although exasperated mummy, I have 2 dds 19 monthhs apart and if you asked me if dd2 was an accident I would be

2point4kids · 06/10/2008 08:48

She probably meant you por thing having a poorly lo as well as others to look after, including a demanding newborn.
She was trying to be sympathetic.

Imagine if you were feeling run down, exhausted, woried about your poorly toddler and you turned up at the hospital t have the Dr say 'Oh you must feel so lucky'! Most people would find that odd!

pickledparsnips · 06/10/2008 09:18

you poor thing...I've heard worse! I think you're being over sensitive. More importantly is your LO ok and did she medically treat you correctly??!

sprogger · 06/10/2008 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaryAnnSingleton · 06/10/2008 09:24

tsk, she was only being empathetic - don't be so sensitive

FluffyMummy123 · 06/10/2008 09:26

Message withdrawn