To be dead jealous of childless couples sometimes? What do you miss?

[LittleOneMum]

OK, so did anyone see that article in the Observer the weekend (a response to an agony aunt question I think) which said that childless marriages are much more likely to be happy ones than ones with children in? I think that was childless by choice rather than anything else.

I don't actually accept that this is true, but then I get in a big depression about the things I can't do anymore. My sis has just gone off to Paris for three months to be in a play. I WANT TO DO THAT! I want to fly off to Miami and sunbathe on the beach all day! I want to fly off to New York for the weekend for shopping...! AAAArrrgh....

Anyone else with me or AIBU?

I miss being able to go for a drink after work with my DH, and not worry about being too drunk when it's time to go home and pay the baby-sitter!

I miss our lazy Sunday afternoons seeing a movie (Sat night DVD when the DSs are supposed to be in bed are just not the same...)

Not a lot really, which I guess is a really good thing!

There are things I miss but I actually do more since I have had my DS. More exercise, night classes and I have made a lot more friends. I was quite lonely before, working unsocial hours and no friends to meet on days off.

I try to remind myself of that when I hate my post baby jelly belly!

Going out for "a quick one" after work and not getting home until after closing time.

Defo, the whole spontaneity thing. And, of course, solitude.

But mostly I really, really miss having a day off.

Sleepycat - yes I'm with you. I would like to have more than a 3 hour stretch on a night...

i miss sleeping past 530,miss going out after work,miss spontaneity.

i am planned and organised to within an inch of my life

Being able to do things with two hands.

A good poo. Being able to clear out the whole bowel. Sorry to lower the tone.

She's only 9 weeks old! At least she'll just lie there crying rather than getting into mischief.

I do get jealous of my (childless) neighbours as they can go out wheneva they fancy without having to organise childcare, have tons of 'dirty weekends' away, curtains still closed at 10am on a sunday morning ect ect but then I look at my kids and all that jealousy disappears and I realise just how lucky i am. And i'm sure they probably get jealous of me sometimes too.

i miss bed days

my old homes.

damn, but they were stylish and clean.

dinner parties that went on till the wee hours followed by long lie ins.

being able to afford really, really good coffee.

meeting friends on Saturdays for manicures and pedicures and then cocktails or shopping.

the cinema.

wine subscriptions.

spending hours and hours cooking one meal.

lol a claen hoose.aye i had lots of arty alvar alto,and ceramics and a fancy stereo.no more alas

ddv repeatedly open/close as it has biscuit stuck in it

all my object d'art broken
my house cluttered

i had this gorgeous leather couch, SM. with two beautiful chairs to match.

bought a house and immediately changed out all the crap new build fixtures - light switches and fixtures, socket covers, water taps, etc. to brushed nickel ones.

had cream coloured wool carpet in the bedrooms upstairs.

flippin' 400 count sheets and down pillows and custom-fitted blinds.

immaculate at all times. smelled like a poncy candle shop and never had to use nappies or spilled food all over the place.

because of course, we weren't home during the day to mess it up! .

I remember cream carpets

Miss ...

• there not being an equal-and-opposite stress to every whim, however worthy & non-actually-whimsical ( = if you want to go to the gym, you have to work out, nay negotiate, who will defaultly be On Duty)

• nothing else at all. (NB ds 9.5, dd very-nearly-8, totally self-determining & self-contained. Being able to read is the watershed)

Lovely discoveries ...

• being able to lead raucous choruses of music hall standards ("I'm Ennery the Eighth I am") with mutual flinging of selves into joy of it all (dh firmly absent NB)

• fielding fabulously interesting questions ("But what word root could there possibly be for all of 'good' 'better' and 'best'?")

• that once they can read (see above) you get energy back for your own adult relationship + extra interestingness because the children are interesting

• other parents - lovely clever life-enlivening enthusiastic-wine-drinking other parents.

Can't really remember what life was like before children tbh

but I am envious of anyone (more so people who have children) who get a good nights sleep

I have genuinely forgotten what not being tired feels like

YANBU!
I miss not being able to go out sunbathing all day, reading a book with a glass of wine on holiday.
I miss not being able to have my coffe table in the centre of the room with nice candles on it.
I miss not being able to go to work because its not financially viable.
I miss having time and space to do hair and makeup before going out.
I miss not being able to go out with just a handbag on a whim. Also on an unplanned night out.
I miss not having a lie in with DH because DCs will be up and one of us has to get up.

However, I wouldn't swap being a mum to my beautiful girls for anything!

Oh and I can't wait until my dds are old enough to play upstairs, when my living room will not look like a nursery!

Ds is away for a week with my mum and dad. Dh and I ate junk food for two days straight as I am sick of producing healthy balanced meals night after night and dh claims to have forgotten how to cook. That was nice but I was ready for veggies again after two days. Other than watching the 6 O'clock news our life is no different. I am getting more cleaning done - but I don't think I would have not had ds in order to spend more quality time with the vacuum.

I think it's made us both realise that having a 5 year old has not changed our life.

I used to have cushions that stayed on the sofa. They looked nice.

On the plus side I have a great excuse for

having a house like a bomb site

I miss not having to cook / prepare a meal for DD!
I sometimes just want to graze the fridge - bit of hummous, some leaves, a carrot, half an avocado, a smoothie: I don't feel like eating every night.

Now I find I'm all stressed out about giving Dd a nutritious meal everyday - I really hate gorcery shopping and cooking now, and MENU Planning leaves me cold.

I used to spend hours cooking up delicious food for dinner parties - but the Everyday-ness of cooking now gets to me.

I DO enjoy baking with my DD though. I miss being able to travel - purely on a financial basis. DD is a great traveler - but the flights / tickets etc now are for three.

I miss having the ability to get my hair done massage - now every penny goes into childcare and school fees.

I have cream carpets still but they are a mess - and my cream leather sofa isn't fit for freecycle!!!

For me, the constant negotiation with my DH for 'time off' is a bit frustrating also.

Message withdrawn

I was a late mum, had awful problems trying to have kids and thought for a very long time that we would not be able too. So during that time we had lovely exotic holidays, done lots of crazy things and generally had a fantastic couple of years. I think I can honestly say that now there is very little I miss, we generally manage (thanks to my mum) to get a few adult days away, last september we went to San Francisco, we have always travelled with our kids, they are 4 and 6, been to Australia twice, Florida and Antigua, so the travel is possible, it does cost more and there are probably certain destinations that you couldnt do with kids. I suppose if pushed the only thing I do miss is just be able to pop out for a meal/drinks when we fancy it, shock horror even a week night!

I miss being able to read until I'm finished reading. And I miss doing spontaneous things. A little bit of me dies every time I make plans; it's so middle aged.

i miss being able to have a cold and feel sorry for myself.