to think my friend's husband shouldn't tell me I'm clearing the table when I'm visiting?

[indiechick]

Stayed Sat/Sun with friends, had a lovely roast dinner on Sun and at the end of the meal, friend's husband says: Well I'll sort out pudding, then you (wife) and indiechick can clear away.
I'm really annoyed, I would have helped anyway, I'm not the type of guest who doesn't, but how rude. I wouldn't mind but I got up with all the kids, theirs and ours, gave them all breakfast, played with them for about two hours 'til parents woke up, spent both days wiping bottoms and noses of all children, looked after all of them in garden whilst friend and hubby cooked and emptied a rather full dustbin in the kitchen when no-one else seemed to be doing so. I wouldn't mind but he doesn't lift a finger when they come to visit.

so don't invite them

He sounds a complete arse, and I would feel as infuriated as you.

Sounds like he was thinking aloud.

sounds utterly unremarkable

yabu

YABU.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

i would never ever ask guests to clear up after lunch.

That's rather rich THW.

YABU, I did this at MiL's the other week, told everyone what they would be doing because otherwise MiL wouldn't have thought to ask for help.

id have asked you to wash up too!!

YABU, he was probably just thinking things through, and said what he was thinking.

yabu. lol at getting angry about something so unremarkable.

What Enid said.

Don't think I do actually hedgewitch but thanks for that.

Can you give me an example?

THW, you're always on AIBU about your Dh.
Smacks of pot.kettle.black to me that's all.

I think YANBU I repeat NOT being unreasonable. It would annoy me because people like that do. When we were little we had an aunt whose kids were practically allowed to trash our house but when we went to theirs we had to sit on the chair and not move their rules not our parents. Don't put up with it next time they come make a point of telling him what to do at every opportunity. And in future don't do what he says. I speak from experience.

Sounds okay to me. I think he was thinkign out loud adn just dividing up jobs rather than order you what to do.

I often say something similar when we have guests. It is a way of dividing tasks so they are done quicker. The quicker they are done the sooner we all sit down with coffee adn pudding.

I honestly don't think he was telling you what to do.

And if he does not lift a finger when they come to visit, use the same tactic on him!

He didn't allocate a job to my husband though.

You and his wife were to clear, he said we will sort pudding, assuming he means himself and your dh. So everyone had a job.
Sounds like you are reading way too much into this tbh.

Is his not allocating a job to your dh what has really bothered you? Why was that not in your OP?

It's not like he said 'You wimminfolk must serve us, for we are men and superior. Hop to it!'

If he does it again, tell him he is being a bit rude. Then ignore him. Men are not subtle and he will not learn if you don't point it out to him with a flip chart and magic markers.

But he did allocate teh dh a job - him and indie dh were to do puds!

YANBU.

How rude!

You don't order your guests around.