To tell my DB about gov guidelines for sleeping in same room as baby when he said baby would be sleeping in its own room.

[neolara]

My brother is expecting his first child any time now. He doesn't really know anything about babies yet although I think he will be a fantastic dad when it comes along.

He said that the baby would be sleeping in a separate room with the maternity nurse and would stay there when the maternity nurse leaves after 5 weeks. I rather cautiously mentioned that the current guidelines are that a baby sleeps in the same room as someone else for the first six months because of the risk of cot death. He said he didn't know that, but then went quiet on me, which means he was cross and wanted me to but out!

Some close friends of his who recently had a baby have had the baby in a separate room from birth and I think he just thinks that is what "everyone" does. I also think that he was probably annoyed that his big sister was trying to tell him how to bring up his baby. And I can see how that would be bloody irritating. I tried to back-track (e.g. it's your baby and obviously you can have it sleep wherever you want) but actually I do think he should at least make an informed decision.

I suppose it comes down to how much do you think it is reasonably to interfere in how others in your family bring up their children. Do you think I should have said something, or left it to the health visitor / midwife?

I got print-outs with advice on all the dos and don'ts etc. Given to me by the midwives.

Just curious - how were the guidlines presented to everyone else?

Wow - what a load of judgemental women on this board.

What the heck is it to you if someone has a maternity nurse??? The best thing a child could have is a sane mother, and if having a maternity nurse helps keep them sane, then good for them!

And if the child doesn't sleep in their room, then maybe that is what will work for them!

I remember waking up one night, holding my son in my bed - I didn't remember getting up, taking him out of his bed, anything - I scared myself silly. The next day he went into his own room, and whenever I went to him after that I was actually awake before I took him out of his cot.

He slept better, I slept better, I dealt with him better when I was awake, and I was no longer constantly in tears because I was so utterly exhausted and couldn't function properly - as I had been for the previous few days. He was awake every hour, on the hour, for quite a few months.

So I will NOT apologise for putting my son into his own room - quite frankly without it I would not have coped.

And because my DH had started a new job while I was pregnant, he had no paternity leave so couldn't take time off - which meant I was coping on my own. I NEEDED to be sane.