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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...well clearly I AM NOT but dh is (in my humble opinion), please agree with me here

55 replies

Oliveoil · 23/09/2008 13:34

dd1 is 6 next month

we emigrate to Australia about 2 weeks after her birthday

she wants to invite about 20 people to her party "as I have lots of friends this year Mummy" (a lie but who am I to tell her otherwise...). She had 10 last year.

dh says NO, 10ish like last year "as otherwise we will have too much crap to take with us" (he does have a point here as our shippers will have gone)

I think he is being a big bad meany bollocks and I want to let her have the full amount as it is kind of a leaving party too

whaddaya think?

OP posts:
notnowbernard · 23/09/2008 13:35

I'm with you

Let her invite the World and His wife if she wants to!

Good luck with the move

ImNotOnline · 23/09/2008 13:35

Let her have the party but tell the mums not to buy presents as the shippers will have gone?

NobodysPerfect · 23/09/2008 13:35

You are being perfectly reasonable and a lovely Mum.

squeaver · 23/09/2008 13:36

Why not say No Presents on the invitation? Presumably people know you're going and will understand.

Even without that, you're right, your dh is wrong.

MadameCastafiore · 23/09/2008 13:36

Get them to give her AUS$ for a pressie instead as she can then have great fun sopending them when she goes.

I would let her invite hundreds if it is going to be her last party here!

He is Meany McMeany IMO!

MamaG · 23/09/2008 13:36

Let her go out with a bang! Tell him he's a meany bollocks.

Could you put a note on the bottom of invitations reminding people that you're flitting 2 weeksa fter party so easily-transportable presents only please?

ImNotOnline · 23/09/2008 13:37

Plus if your area is anything like mine all 20 will never turn up and you are likely to just get 10ish.

wilkos · 23/09/2008 13:37

have party but only let family buy presents

other mums will be thrilled!

Tommy · 23/09/2008 13:37

agree with Imnotonline - have a quiet chat to the mums and explain the situation - maybe they can club together and get one present between them?

Bucharest · 23/09/2008 13:37

probably not all would come anyway? we have a party next week and have had to invite all of dd's class (26 kids) but from past "class" parties only about half will turn up. Tell dh not to be a meany pants.

MamaG · 23/09/2008 13:37

oh God you can't give a 6 year old a birthday party and have her standing there wondering why none of her mates have brought presents [horror]

themoon66 · 23/09/2008 13:37

I would let her have as many guests as she wants seeing as she won't be seeing them again. Tell the parents to refrain from buying presents. Maybe they could bring food or drinks for the party instead?

Bucharest · 23/09/2008 13:38

You can always "lose" all the pink plastic in transit? We tend to do that a lot....

S1ur · 23/09/2008 13:38

I think you are right of course

Have a big one if that's what she'd like but don't ask for presents ask for something specific or small (like english flower seeds she can grow out there) or get them to make her a cd of songs/stories they are reading themselves.

Expain to parents about problems with usual size presents, no need for it to be a problem.

edam · 23/09/2008 13:38

You are right, dh is being a miserable so-and-so who has clearly forgotten what it's like to be six. The move is a big enough deal for her without having her birthday party downgraded!

I'mnotonline is wise, although a birthday party without presents would be hard to swallow at her age. Maybe you could just talk to the other mums at the school gates and explain it would be a good idea to keep presents really small?

nailpolish · 23/09/2008 13:38

id say to the other parents that ou wont be able to take prsents with you as the shippers have gone
they wouldnt want to think theri presents may be binned in a months time

but YES give her a big party

Blu · 23/09/2008 13:39

He's being practical- but it;'s not a good reason not to invite people!

Invite 20, but suggest very teeny lightweight, flat presents (Like hairbands) ...or things that are instantly disposable on use - like bath bombs or temporary tattoos, or...sweets!!

ImNotOnline · 23/09/2008 13:39

No you can't do that, but you can tell her that as you are moving she'll get to choose her own when you are there.

Original poster
Oliveoil · 23/09/2008 13:40

I don't want to put No Presents as how do you explain to a 6 year the lack of them?

also, my the other mums would think me a loon

OP posts:
nailpolish · 23/09/2008 13:40

bucharest dotn you think that is a bit cheeky? folks have spent their money on gifts, even if its just a £5 piece of tatt

id buy her a pack of hairclips or something small if i was invited...

GobbledigookisThrifty · 23/09/2008 13:40

I'm with you and would ask for no gifts if you don't want to ship them all over with you. Some people might just give her some money - if it was me I'd give her cash to buy something nice for her new bedroom for example.

escape · 23/09/2008 13:41

You've got to go the whole hog.
Our last move, last Xmas, DD was 6 going on 7.
Thank god we made a fuss - the memories will really srtick at that age.
Especially, as when it was her Birthday in April - we moved house 2 days before and had literally nobody except us to celebrate with
you must do it!

FAQ · 23/09/2008 13:41

I think 6 is old enough to understand that you're moving, and if all her friends brings presents then there's a chance they may have to be left behind when you move.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 23/09/2008 13:41

Can you have the party before the stuff is shipped?

edam · 23/09/2008 13:42

Why don't you talk to dd and ask what she'd like to do about presents?