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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my dd needs to have crisps at mother and toddler group

111 replies

heartmummy · 19/09/2008 11:31

am i beeing unfair to the other kids? my dd has a heart condition she has been without her feeding tube for 9 weeks and doing great. she will be 3 in november as she burns of more cals , her heart beats twice as fast as a normal heart which means she has to eat high fat and cal food and she snacks all day long, we had to leave early yesterday because she was so trierd and blue asking for her red crisps as soon as she had eaten them she was ready to start again, doctors have said she needs to attend activities to help her devlopment and social skills. am i being unfair to the other kids if i ask for her to have her red crisps instead of a heathly snack (which she does not eat anyway)

OP posts:
MamaG · 19/09/2008 11:33

I don't think thats being unfair TBH - it is exceptional circumstances really isn't it?

Glad she's doing so well without her feeding tube

FluffyMummy123 · 19/09/2008 11:33

Message withdrawn

funkybumps · 19/09/2008 11:35

It's not being unfair at all. Are the supervisors aware of your reasons as I am sure they will help you out if any of the children start asking questions as to why your DD is allowed to eat the crisps ?

It would be a shame for you both if you stopped attending the group.

lilymolly · 19/09/2008 11:36

not unreasonable at all- but would question the salt content of crisps as sodium can affect the hearts beat and rate.

elle23 · 19/09/2008 11:36

not unreasonable. it's an exception. but if anybody tends to frown disapprovingly at you, just explain. I'm sure everyone will understand

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 19/09/2008 11:39

i think if you explain to the other kids and their mums why dd needs the crisps then its okay.

my dd had to take in yoghurts etc to nursery for her snack when the other kids were having apples and carrots because she had hurt her gums. the other kids were okay about it when the teachers explained how poorly her teeth were and how much they hurt when she ate.

MasterBatesLePew · 19/09/2008 11:41

Not unreasonable but why don't you give her the crips instead of asking M+T group to get them?
Glad she doing so good

Original poster
heartmummy · 19/09/2008 11:42

my dd doesnt eat very much at the moment she also has high cal juice drink from her dietican (have to make it into jelly as she will only drink water) her soduim levels are fine at the mo fingers crossed, for dd to eat anything is a plus ive been advised to give whats she wants when she wants it but have to say its alot better for her than that ngtube.

OP posts:
RTKangaMummy · 19/09/2008 11:43

I agree YANBU it is special circs

My DS has low blood pressure and so needs to eat salt on everything etc.

Did the Drs say to give her crisps?

Doesn't it increase her heart rate and BP ?

Sorry if I have misunderstood completely

DEFFO BRILL she hasn't got NGT

littleducks · 19/09/2008 11:43

if you feel uncomfortable is there something else you could give her that is high calorie but perhaps low salt etc. so seen as healthier, and save the crisps for the way home?

or just do as you are now and explain to anyone you think is bothered?

Original poster
heartmummy · 19/09/2008 11:43

master i always carry a bag of snacks with us so i would be taking them

OP posts:
ComeOVeneer · 19/09/2008 11:43

Not unreasonable, (btw what are "red" crisps?) however is it really the best option snack wise for her, or is it simply because it is something she will eat?

RTKangaMummy · 19/09/2008 11:44

ooooooooops XXXXXXX posts

nervousal · 19/09/2008 11:46

Did you really expect anyone to come on here and say "yes YABU?"??????????

Peachy · 19/09/2008 11:47

I know where you're comig from heartmum.

DS3 wont drink water. So he gets juice. He's sn, his language skills are afr too poor for him to understand all th reasons why he should drink water- and if he's given it he spits or doesnt drink at all. he would dehydrate- ds1 was the same (both spectrum) and ended up very ill with an ambulance on standby after not drinking all day at school on the hottest day of the year whilst running a fun run.

So ds3 takes juice. when can its that clear stuff, but they dont sell it in the village so if i cant get to asda then its whatever we have.

schoold did have a go at bannig him, saying it was water or no drink (!), so we had to yell DDA at them which worked.

These rules are good; ds2 is nt and I wouldnt dream of eprmitting him to breech them. but exceptional kids need ex exceptional rules.

Original poster
heartmummy · 19/09/2008 11:48

comeo its both, her taste change all the time last week it was blue crisps because she eats all the time she gets bored with eating but all kids love crips

OP posts:
mazzystar · 19/09/2008 11:49

is there a less attractive alternative to the crisps?

i don't think that its unfair on the other kids particularly

but what is healthy for your dd is less so for other children and the playgroup may feel that the message is unhelpful.

Original poster
heartmummy · 19/09/2008 11:51

nervo i have been told that today by the gruop leader that it is unfair on the other kids but its also not fair that my dd should miss out again on something so inportant

OP posts:
SammyK · 19/09/2008 11:57

Can you not give her the crisps the second you come out of the door at M+Ts?

May well save a lot of hassle.

Can understand why you are giving her them though, totally understand.

2shoes · 19/09/2008 12:03

no imo you are not. your dd has to have them, the over dc's will just have to learn that they can't
and cod is right. your kid

HonoriaGlossop · 19/09/2008 12:04

If this was me I would get the dietician to give me a sheet with other ideas for high calorie foods. Of course it's understandable that at this stage you're grateful she's eating anything, but it won't take long for numerous crisps/junk snacks each day to be very bad for her, I would have thought.

Could you talk to the dietician for other ideas?

FairLadyRantALot · 19/09/2008 12:07

surely there are better snacks to give your child though...?

SammyK · 19/09/2008 12:08

Would M+T leader make something additional for the group that your dd would like? toast and butter / muffin pizzas / cheddar cubes? Sorry your dd probaby won't like either of these - but you hopefully get the idea!

TheBlackPearlDragon · 19/09/2008 12:09

Yes, it's "unfair" on the other children to see your DD eating crisps when they aren't allowed but life isn't fair, not everyone's needs are the same and this is a good time for them to find that out.

Of course your DD should eat what she needs when she needs it and the M&T leader really should understand that.

FairLadyRantALot · 19/09/2008 12:10

btw...YANBU...jsut wondered why crisp would be the choice....

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