my dd needs to have crisps at mother and toddler group

[heartmummy]

am i beeing unfair to the other kids? my dd has a heart condition she has been without her feeding tube for 9 weeks and doing great. she will be 3 in november as she burns of more cals , her heart beats twice as fast as a normal heart which means she has to eat high fat and cal food and she snacks all day long, we had to leave early yesterday because she was so trierd and blue asking for her red crisps as soon as she had eaten them she was ready to start again, doctors have said she needs to attend activities to help her devlopment and social skills. am i being unfair to the other kids if i ask for her to have her red crisps instead of a heathly snack (which she does not eat anyway)

At the M & T group i go to, we each bring something for snack and when its time to eat it's put out on plates and the children have a bit of what they want in their bowl. I thought they all worked like this, but obviously not

Im sure everyone will understand if you explain.

And i agree, life isn't fair, and the other children just have to accept that!

your child.ypur individual circumstances.normalising activities good for both of you

riven...the group I helped out wiht was a drop in, so, no limited number...which ca be a problem, as at the moment the actual childrens centre is NOT build yet, and we have been improvising...
we don't just offer one snack, we offer a variety...on Tuesday we had....Hamslices, Cheesecubes, carrotsticks, cucumber slices, Breadsticks , Banana slices and grapes...so, whilest all healthy, a wide variety...we also have a form for parents to fill in which includes a section where parents can tell us about special needs and dietry requirements....and the group has always tried to avoid things that one Kid mihgt be intolerant or allergic, too...if that Kid is there....etc...
Snacks in the past have been pineapple, melon, bread, toast, psylliys (or whatever they are called), cheesetriangles, softcheese, and many otehr things...
the only time we were/are allowed to go against healthy eating rules is when doing a party (before end of schoolyear, or special occasions....) or a Kid has a Birthday and we give them a Birthday celebration...
It can be a bit annoying at times....forinstance the ex manager told me off for bringing my own banana and eating it in view of Kids (whilest they had their snack...) because one Kid wanted some of it ....

anyway though...hethy snacks des not mean jus one kind for all and it doesn't need to be boring...however, with special needs I am pretty sure that things would be adjusted anyway...origially I just mentioned o[ps worries as maybe being used to that kind of group and therefore worried

it sounds like some Suretsrat centres are great and others are underfunded and held in a little shed like ours. I don't go anymore. They couldn't cater for dd (even having to heave her wheelchair up steps)

YANBU.

Other kids can't eat "normal" cake, which is unfair, but we don't stop the majority from having a slice do we?

All the best to your DD!

riven, yes the difference is possibly huge...
we actually have a superfantastic one here and the one that is build into ds's primary school will not be that good...much smaller, etc...but hopefully we will have purpose build rooms, rather then what we have now....!
Thing is, I suppose, they have to try to do the best they can with whatever they have...but it is a shame when they can't cater for certain children, that is unacceptable, imo
We had a little girl coming in for a while who was severely disabled and was on oxygen etc...but luckily we never had an issue that we could not deal with....and the only reason I am speaking in past tense is, because sadly she passed away a while back

must say both really, also the mums mention other things (i have heard from one mum who also attends) why is she still in a pushchair,why does she wear her boots in soft play,she is to old for a baby cup,pull faces when she splits carrot sticks out cause she just carnt chew them by the way dd spits them out in my hand not over the table,also dd can sometimes get confused when in a noisey place so she will just walk off when someone asking her to do something, she will use makaton with me, i know i must grow a thick skin !!!!!

oh heartmummy.....rise above it...ignore them.
you know why your dd does these things, and thats all that matters....don't ever feel like you need to make excuses for why she does things....let them judge..

i hope that your little girl carries on doing so well...you sound like you're doing a great job. xxxx

melly's probably right but if I was in your shoes I wouldn't be able to keep my gob shut. I'd be telling them exactly what the problem is in the hope they'd feel fucking ashamed of themselves.

just skimmed but salt n shake crisps are just potatoes and sunflower oil (if you throw away the salt sachet)

ive not seem them for years! where would i get them from (good idea)x

Shame you don't live near me, I run a parent and toddler group and I can promise you wouldn't have that reaction at ours

I haven't read all the posts so it may have been asked already but is there any alternative you could give her rather than crisps, even if its to make you feel less uncomfortable about the groups opinions? (Not that you should though )

I have never heard of an M&T group that had any rules about what the kids ate. As long as you take your own food, it's your business. I would have thought digestive biscuits esp choc ones etc were higher in f at and cals than crisps mind you.

YANBU as a parent of a heart child I can sympathise, mine can't go to playgroup at the mo as it takes him a couple of weeks to recover from the tiredness after he's been so am trying to stuff him full of high calorie foods in preparation for his op. Stick to your guns and ignore them x

"why is she still in a pushchair,why does she wear her boots in soft play,she is to old for a baby cup,pull faces when she splits carrot sticks out cause she just carnt chew them by the way dd spits them out in my hand not over the table,also dd can sometimes get confused when in a noisey place so she will just walk off when someone asking her to do something, she will use makaton with me"

Look for another mother and toddler group- these people sound dreadful. It's OK for HV to say 'they must go to toddler group for social development" (as they always do to parents with children who have any sort of delay) but honest to god they don't have to sit around with these dreadful people and come home miserable.

Do you have friends with young children that you could visit for your dd to play with them instead?

I have to say it would never occur to me to ask or seek permission to feed my child anything at a mother and toddler groups though I would never take anything like peanuts due to allergies.

If anywhere I went to tried to stop me I would very quickly find another group. (And in your case make a formal complaint on the grounds of discrimination)

By the way, I buy salt and shake crisps a lot as I prefer them. I get them fromthe Co-Op. My Mum gets them from Aldi or Netto too (can't rememebr which)and they are as nice as the branded ones.

i have spoken again to the group leader! she has now changed her mind and i can give my dd anything she needs during the gruop sessions. thank you everyone for your replys must say have come in very useful when fighting my corner x x x

i have never known a toddler group ban you from feeding your child what you want heart condition or not.

Salt N shake crips have been back on the shelves for ages. I get them at tesco.

Are you sure foods need to be high in saturated fat as opposed to unsaturated fat, I would be very careful with salt too. You can make your own crisps very easily.

Good lord, heartmummy - I hope the other mothers sort themselves out soon. How impossibly rude to talk like that. Even if they don't know about your dd's condition, the decent thing is to simply accept that whatever your dd does or doesn't do is not their bloody problem. So glad our toddlers group is nothing like that.