my dd needs to have crisps at mother and toddler group

[heartmummy]

am i beeing unfair to the other kids? my dd has a heart condition she has been without her feeding tube for 9 weeks and doing great. she will be 3 in november as she burns of more cals , her heart beats twice as fast as a normal heart which means she has to eat high fat and cal food and she snacks all day long, we had to leave early yesterday because she was so trierd and blue asking for her red crisps as soon as she had eaten them she was ready to start again, doctors have said she needs to attend activities to help her devlopment and social skills. am i being unfair to the other kids if i ask for her to have her red crisps instead of a heathly snack (which she does not eat anyway)

at the moment dd does not understand the feeling of fullness or hungy i have to do this for her by guessing doctors and salt have said this could take up to 6 months to retrain her brain, its either this way or a gas tube inserted in her tummy which means yet another op and gastubes get infected alot

it takes alot of work to chew (for anyones heart) sometimes if she is to tried she will just swallow food and start choking crisps,jelly,noddles,tinned carrots,mash, are perfect for this wgich is everyday

she has a happy meal 3 times a week

you do what you feel is right don't worry about offending others you have enough to worry about... Although can you look into other high cal food that does not contain so much salt?

here some ideas that M&T might feel are more acceptable...

full fat yoghurts?
Soft cheeses (Trianglezs on soft bread???)
Bananas
Avocados ( I know, she possibly not like those)
Weetabix (they should have fullfat milk at the M&T)

I would just have a word with the people who "run" the M&T and tell them your dd's special circs. and then just go with what is best for your dd. my dd has everything full fat(she is 13) as she needs the calories and fat. so I kind of understand your problem.

You are being entirely reasonable, providing you have explained your exceptional circumstances to the other group members.

If she was diabetic then there would be no issue with snacks to keep up b/s levels.

It is surely good for children to learn that some people need different things?

I do object to the people who turn up and feed their kids lunch because they didn't before they left the house.

heartmummy, if read you correctly you are not asking the M&T group to provide crisps as snack, just that you be allowed to give your dd (red) crisps that you have brought from home during (and not just after) the M&T session?

I am a bit perplexed why you feel the need to ask for permission to do this (heart condition or not) and would be utterly shocked if the M&T group would actually say you cannot attend and ask you to leave if you did open a pack of crisps midway through.

A quiet word with the M&T group leaders should be sufficient.

Apart from that, you don't have to justify or explain yourself to all and sundry. It just sounds a bit precious first born for anyone to be concerned about a 3 year old consuming crisps and being a 'bad' example for their own children, like they had to have their children wearing blinkers at all times - if such people exist, they need to get over it.

I am sure you and dd will be fine. Great that your dd no longer needs the NGT

agree with Honoria re the dietician

my dd has CP and under-eats, we get special foods on prescription for her; desserts, or high-cal drinks, or powder to bake with to up the calorie level

it must be costing you a lot to constantly buy these snacks; can't you ahve something on prescription, which will then be seen as 'medical' to the M&T group and therefore more acceptable than crisps

as well as having less salt

re the swallowing/ chewing thing

aren't crisps a bite-splinter food? we were told to steer completely away from crisps because of dd's shallow chewing, they are one of the worst culprits for choking ime

honoria, when my infant dd had her heart condition pre-op, I did get a whole list of foods from the dietician that I could give her to fatten her up. heartmummy, I am happy to dig it out and post it to you if you want it. But the list was full of cakes, cream, ice cream, the sort of thing that would make Annabel Karmel despair, and this is for Weaning! In any case, as heartmummy describes, this food is not just for calories, it is to train her dd to get used to the idea of taking food through her mouth (as opposed to through a nasogastric tube) and so it is best not to make a big issue of the 'correct' type of food otherwise it could put her dd off. So long as heartmummy's dd wants it, the food police can lay off for now. Even healthy 3 year olds can be perfectly fussy about what foods they will or will not eat.

fiofio, you mean 'infatrini'. Don't I remember that, oh yes. Dd would not have it either.

blueshoes...it would depend on the group...I volunteered at a Parent/Carer-Baby 0-5 group and as it was in connection with a Chkdrens centre we had to have a Healthy Eating policy...and this meant that unhealthy snacks would NOT be allowed....
obviously op's situation is different from the norm...but, I would think that the manager would have tried to work out which snack could maybe be used instead of crisps, iykwim...

I also agree with Cappuccino...I don't think crisps are an idea food if worried about choking (unless op means those cornsnacky type things...but I don't think she is?)

fio...I do agree with you, btw...just giving a reason of why it could cause problems...iykwim

Fairlady, I understand what you mean about healthy eating at a children's centre - not that I agree with being preached to but seeing the demographic they are meant to reach out to, rules are rules. Which is why I said have a word with the group leaders. What if despite the alternatives, heartmummy's dd would only eat (red) crisps? Would you have banned the food still? Thinking about legislation which does not allow discrimination for disability.

Soft crisps would include quavers and whotsits - BTW, it was the health visitor who told me about them. I never heard of them as I did not grow up in the UK.

totally give her what she needs. those mums who think they can avoid owt in a packet will be bribing their kids with the very same things before they know it.!!!

I'm not sure the person who runs a playgroup, or manages a childrens' centre, should be second-guessing what doctors and dietitians have advised, tbh.

Heartmummy, if you are getting any hassle, I think that's very unfair. The person in charge should realise you have exceptional circumstances and get off your case. If they really annoy you, mention the disability discrimination act - no-one can treat a disabled person less favourable than anyone else and public bodies have to make any reasonable adjustments that are necessary.

are red crisps soft crisps then? I assume op meant ready salted crisp, like those walkers...

op has said that her dd does eat other things like Jelly etc....!

Edam, like I said, I would think a manager of a Childcentre would possibly see which other options of snacks would be possible, in order to stay within the guides...but, am sure that it was the only option they would make allowances in specific circumstances...

don't think OP actually had a problem, but was worried she may?

that if it was

"But the list was full of cakes, cream, ice cream, the sort of thing that would make Annabel Karmel despair, and this is for Weaning!"

lolol

I had a fab conversation with dd1's dietician, I was saying she had cake after school and saying it is good, honest, it is homemade with wholemeal flour

cake is fine he laughed

god, I said, I am so relieved. I know people who would go 'CAKE! CAKE! why isn't she having a banana and a handful of seeds?'

I was talking about mumsnetters of course