Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to hate people that bring their own food to parties?

189 replies

trumpetgirl · 07/09/2008 18:18

My dd has been to a few parties recently and I have noticed that some people have brought food for their children and I assumed that their child must have allergies or something.
I have just found out that actually they just don't want their child eating the crap party food.
Should I feel offended by this? Are they implying that I'm a terrible mother for letting my dd eat crisps and cake for her tea? If not, then why do they have a problem letting their kid eat it?
It's a one off, a treat. What's the flipping problem with that?!

OP posts:
lilolilmanchester · 07/09/2008 19:27

I don't feed my children crap food. But it won't kill them if they have crap food every now and then and am very relaxed about what they eat at parties. Bizarre at that age. (although I have no problem with parents bringing food in the case of allergies/eating phobias, just to be clear)

cheeset · 07/09/2008 19:35

OMG, parties are a night off from feeding your kids as far as I'm concerned

QOD · 07/09/2008 19:38

I serve crap, cheap crap!

dilemma456 · 07/09/2008 19:45

Message withdrawn

giraffescantdancethetango · 07/09/2008 19:48

I wouldnt really care, all the more shit food for me

Id rather people came and had fun and ate what they wanted (my food or their own food) than came and spent the whole time moaning about my food/demanding I get different food for them.

bythepowerofgreyskull · 07/09/2008 19:50

YANBU - If there are allergy issues I think it is fine - if there are judgey parent issues then a very bad idea - very rude.

OonaghBhuna · 07/09/2008 19:52

Apart from allergies then I think its extremely rude.
However I have noticed that in my network of friends that people are generally making more of an effort with making the food at parties a little healthier.

I know I am really boring but I made spagetti bolognese and afterwards the kids had home made cakes, all the food was eaten.

dilemma456 · 07/09/2008 19:55

Message withdrawn

LazyLinePainterJane · 07/09/2008 19:56

LOL wahwah, t'is not MN, but the power of bad grammar over on lolcatz!!

LazyLinePainterJane · 07/09/2008 19:59

found fud one

LittleBella · 07/09/2008 20:10

I'm trying to remember which book it was I read (when I was a child) where the kids got invited ot a party and it was Lent and they were the vicar's children. So they had this terrible dilemma because it was very rude to refuse food and they were hungry and had to eat, but every single item of food was sweet, even the bread and butter had hundreds and thousands on them. I can't remember the book, but I remember the scene so well...

kt14 · 07/09/2008 20:13

We kind of did healthy crap at DS's party, reasonable quality pizza, homemade potato wedges, garlic bread, strawberries, shortbread etc. It all got munched and there were no kids shrieking manically and hurling themselves around trashing our house due to an excess of sugar and E numbers.

Would never send the ds' to anyone's armed with their own food though, that is just plain bad manners. DS does have a real intolerance for aspartame (found in our friend, the fruit shoot and robinson's no added sugar squash) and that's possibly the only thing I'd mention if he went anywhere, purely because the stuff rapidly turns him into the child from hell and i frankly wouldn't wish the consequences on the poor unsuspecting party hosts..

wb · 07/09/2008 20:14

There must be a lot of mad people about

I always do party food for ds1 (dairy and nut allergy) but would love not to have to. Imagine making your kid the odd one out if it wasn't necessary....

YANBU

cupsoftea · 07/09/2008 20:14

how rude trumpetgirl - would have asked the parents what the problem was? Hope your party bags were full of stuff they disapprove of

MrsSchadenfreude · 07/09/2008 20:18

We had one horrid child dear little girl, aged 5, who, when asked if she would like some birthday cake (chocolate!) pursed up her lips like Fabio's arse and said "No, I don't think I will, thank you. It looks awfully rich."

ScottishMummy · 07/09/2008 20:18

aye i am most definitely "rice-cake-mum" i do always have to hand (marmite) shall smile about that now

yanbu anal an attention seeking to arrive with own food (unless a legitimate dietary/cultural reason)

my friend did a wee spread and all day the phone was ringing with power-mums squawking

does it have additives/colourants?
where did you buy products?
are they organic?
is it fair trade?
who has handled the food?

whit?????????????

free food!!!!!!!!!

nada.nowt.heehaw and you are mumping

noonki · 07/09/2008 20:20

poor kids -

they must be aiming to make their kids social outcasts, who will grow up stuffing their faces whenever out of thier mum's faces

but it doesn't have to be rubbish food to be party food, I always do a mix of sausages/strawberries/yoyos/ humus/ pitta/

I also carry the dreaded ricecakes with me at all times, AND a bag of haribos (I enjoy being a social leper!)

MrsSchadenfreude · 07/09/2008 20:21

I always serve gin and tonic at my children's parties to any parents who are mad kind enough to stay and help. I find it's very good for washing down overly rich chocolate cake.

cupsoftea · 07/09/2008 20:21

I just do a big cake & drinks - works fine

ScottishMummy · 07/09/2008 20:24

i always offer wine to the parents at my parties they drink it too

noonki · 07/09/2008 20:29

wine is a must - everyone has fun then

cupsoftea · 07/09/2008 20:29

Offer cups of tea

lingle · 07/09/2008 20:29

Trumpetgirl, I'm a wannabe food Nazi but I think the hostesses would have every reason to feel offended by this behaviour. It's against the basic laws of hospitality. As a fellow guest you shouldn't be offended, just bemused. The people who did this should have fed their children before the party so they'd be full and wouldn't eat too much junk.

However, as you say, parties are bigger and more frequent than in our childhoods so the "it's a one-off treat" line doesn't wash with me. Some children go to a party every single week, especially if they are tagging along with a sibling. The junk food industry is everywhere.

At my 3 year old's party I fed the neighbours' children as many Organix gingerbread men as they could eat, loads of strawberries and cream and loads of grapes followed by bought chocolate cake. I just didn't bother with the sandwiches cos they are too much work and don't get eaten and the sausages are yucky. It was very chilled. If they eat at 3pm they can always top up at home at 4pm. You don't go to a party for a square meal.

tiredlady · 07/09/2008 20:30

Whenever I served carrot sticks and cherry tomatoes at kids parties, no one ate them.

I persisted with this nonsense for years, believing that party food needed to have some healthy things in it.

What a lot of shit. I totally didn't give a monkey's what the kids were eating, I just didn't want all the other mum's to think I was cheap.

I am older and wiser now.

It's Tesco Value shitty food all the way.

It's just a party.

eightthousendnames · 07/09/2008 20:31

lol at 'awfully rich'

I have never seen anyone take their own food to a party except my ds and ds's best friend as they both have allergies and it is a pita for the boys feeling left out.

I will admit to feeding ds before parties but only when he was younger and at the waking hungry during the night if only had wotsits for dinner stage. I also stopped going to a particular toddler group as they had 'snack time' which was code for a party. They only had party food like crisps, party rings, iced cupcakes etc. and I felt that it made actual parties less special as it was every week. Gosh, I am precious aren't I.