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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up for my DS to have to wait & shiver to use the showers after swimming whilst Mums of girls wash & condition their childs long hair ?

131 replies

CaptainUnderpants · 04/09/2008 18:44

Arghhhhh ! Really bugged me the other day . This is in the family changing area , why cant they use the ladies changing room if they only have girls .

My boys come out of their swimming lesson and have to wait whilst the showers are being hogged by these women !

My eldest Ds will now use the mens changing room so he doesn't freeze when getting out of the pool but my youngest will just have to wait !

Rant over - do I need a hard hat ?

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 05/09/2008 08:33

Take them home to shower.

QuintessentialShadow · 05/09/2008 08:45

Dont these people see the queue?

Why dont you say something like:

"Excuse me, would you mind just step aside for a second while you shampoo in her hair, while my son just has a quick rinse off ?"

Or is it just YOU standing their waiting while the others have taken their boys into ladies changing rooms for a rinse?

misdee · 05/09/2008 09:00

YABU

i have to wash each of the dd's off after swimming. even if i dont condition their hair, shampooing 3 girls takes a while i'm afraid.

they have to be rinsed off, then creamed i nteh changing room due to eczema.

NoblesseOblige · 05/09/2008 09:04

YANBU

Why can't they put the long hair into pretty plaits? quick rinse and voila! probably not the sort of environment to be making style recommendations to complete strangers though

just ask every time in your most pointed voice "how long are you going to be, my ds is getting cold?"

do it every week and hopefully they'll soon catch on

zippitippitoes · 05/09/2008 09:07

i would just dress him and tgo home

zippitippitoes · 05/09/2008 09:08

i dont think the shower does get rid of chlorine that effectively i always shower myself but still smell of chlorine hours later

notsoteenagemum · 05/09/2008 09:17

YABU I wash and condition DD, DS, and myself it doesn't take that long forgoodness sake. We have to wait for the showers because other people do it and we put a towel on if its cold. There are no ladies or mens is all communal.
We have to walk to and from the baths and by the time we got home it would be too late to do their hair again, even if we go during the day I do this because we don't want to walk home with bedraggled knotty hair. Why can't you take DS into the ladies and shower him if its such a problem.
Christy what the hell has being asian got to do with anything?

kiddiz · 05/09/2008 09:21

Where dd has lessons it is the other way round..only 2 showers in the ladies but 8 communal ones. It's still hectic after a lesson with about 25 dcs waiting to use the showers. I do wash and condition my dd's long hair because we don't have a shower at home and it is so much easier in a shower to get all the knots out and my dd seems to have particularly knotty hair. If I left her hair without washing it it would be horrible..chlorine does horrible things to her hair.
That said if I saw another child shivering waiting for the shower I would be more than happy to have them share the shower while I was combing dd's hair if the mum asked.
At another pool I use there are only 2 showers in the ladies and the 2 communal ones available are always cold. Interestingly there are 4 in the mens...they must be muckier than women!!!
I don't really think yabu as it must be annoying having to wait but in your position I would just use any shower available even if that meant taking my ds into the ladies.

Original poster
CaptainUnderpants · 05/09/2008 09:29

MadameCastafiore - I have never said that I expect my Ds to go first or push in , what I have said is why do these mothers take their bloody time faffing around with hair whilst other children are waiting for a qucik rinse !

If necessary I will barge them in if people are taking excessive amounts of time . If that makes me sexist then so be it

Misdee - if you have three children to ahower then I expect it would take time - but we are talking about mothers with one child hogging the showers .

OP posts:
HolidaysQueen · 05/09/2008 09:40

Think YABU a bit. Swimming lessons are always a nightmare because there are never enough showers for people, so somebody has to wait. Even if it was all boys with short hair, your DS would probably still have to wait.

Take two towels. Then he can wrap one round him while he's waiting and have a nice dry one when he's showered.

I often have to wait for a cubicle with my 5mo baby. I wrap him in a separate towel and we just wait. He's not happy but we cope and don't moan about it - it's one of those things.

If you live in Britain, you've got to expect to queue

Original poster
CaptainUnderpants · 05/09/2008 09:50

But do you know what its all about curtosity and manners - if I saw someone with a young baby waiting for a cubicle then they would have mine and I would wait - if i saw a queue of kids waiting for a shower I would get my kids to be very very quick.

I know that we are all entitled to use the facilites etc but if it is busy you dont hog the showers !

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 05/09/2008 09:51

dont most people with children change outside a cubicle

SlartyBartFast · 05/09/2008 09:52

yanbu - i find it extremely annoying and selfish.
conditioner as well
just do it at home. the shower shoudl be for just rinsing off the chlorine.
mine wear hats now so i persuade them to keep the hats on under the showers too.

put it in writing to the pool. theymight stick up a notice or something.

HolidaysQueen · 05/09/2008 09:52

It is about courtesy I agree, but not everybody is courteous or thoughtful so sometimes we just have to deal with the situation as it is rather than how we would like it to be.

SlartyBartFast · 05/09/2008 09:54

exaclty

i wouldnt let mine hog the showers

Original poster
CaptainUnderpants · 05/09/2008 09:55

Depends how much room their is and how the room is set up. Although it is a family changing area they have large cubicles and and a very small bench with coat pegs in the main area. So if you can squeeze your child in ( whilst other mums atre sitting on the bench changing their child ! Arghhh another rant ) all well and good, if not you find a cubcile and if you are polite like me you offer to share it with another child until their parent LOCKS YOU OUT !

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 05/09/2008 09:58

well it all sounds a bit too much like mums interfering perhaps it would all be quicker if the mums waited elsewhere and the swimming lesson children all sorted themselves out without parents interfering

school swimming lessons they have to

Original poster
CaptainUnderpants · 05/09/2008 09:59

Pehaps they need a poster in the shower -

DONT BE A HOG

here

Any off to do Mummy things now like shopping .

OP posts:
Acinonyx · 05/09/2008 10:02

Dd has wild curly hair. Dh takes her swimming every week and i don't think it's ever ocurred to him to wash it never mind condition it - not sure they even shower I'll have to ask! It's such a faff though - easier to keep it tied up throughout and have a bath later at home.

squilly · 05/09/2008 12:37

YABU. My dd is more like a boy than most boys, in that she only showers once a week (I know it's gross, but the parlaver to get her INTO a shower means I take what I can where I can).

She has really long hair, so it gets washed and conditioned whilst she's in the post-swimming baths shower. I tell dd that the conditioner is needed after the swimming or she'll end up having her locks chopped off (That's what the hairdresser told me!) so she reluctantly goes for the conditioner.

Then I comb her hair at home (9 times out of 10 I forget her brush anyway). So...the shower after the swimming lesson is my only chance of getting this done. It's not great, but it's real life.

I also agree with an earlier post...if there's huge queues I'd go home and shower. That way it's sorted amicably

amidaiwish · 05/09/2008 17:31

i am shocked by this thread (easily shocked i know) at how many of you think it is ok to HOG THE SHOWERS conditioning, combing your little darlings hair whilst others are standing around shivering.

As captain underpants said
"if i saw a queue of kids waiting for a shower I would get my kids to be very very quick"

captain underpants, i think you need to start being rude back, just jib in and say "can my ds have a quick rinse please" and gently barge them out of the way.

notsoteenagemum · 05/09/2008 17:43

I can't beleive how IMPATIENT some people are, it takes us about 6 mins tops to wash and condition our hair DD does her own and DS and I stand under the same one. If there's a queue I squidge DD under as well. Can't beleive little darling can't wait that long.

believeintheboogie · 05/09/2008 17:43

I rinse dd after swimming and quickly shampoo her (shortish hair) but do not condition and always brush her hair afterwards away from the showers and cubicles because dds swimming lesson finishes at bed time and I can just chuck her in bed then.

I dont see what the difference between them and you going in the ladies tbh though because either way he is in a room with girls and is young enough to be in the ladies.

believeintheboogie · 05/09/2008 17:46

also agree with someone else though that if a child was stood there cold I would let them nip in the shower for a rinse if i was shampooing and they werent.

slightlycrumpled · 05/09/2008 18:16

YANBU.

NSTM. six minutes is actually a long time if your only wearing a pair of trunks and you are cold!

My good friend has three daughters all with long hair and when they finish lessons she is very quick at sorting their hair out with shampoo and conditioner. It surely doesn't need to take so long that children are cold.

Still, swimming lessons...... worst day of the week.