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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be v pissed off that dh has a condom in his wallet?

62 replies

petitmaman · 31/08/2008 13:38

Found condom in dh's wallet this morning. we don't use them. i know he had one in his bed side table for years but why transfer it to his wallet? it is about 3 years out of date anyway and i dont think he would cheat on me.
the only thing i can think is that he wants to look the big man in front of his friends, but if that is it then that is seriously immature. and who looks through his wallet anyway? (apart from me )
i just find it really odd. thoughts please.

OP posts:

pgwithnumber3 · 31/08/2008 13:39

I too would be pissed off, why not ask him why he has it in there?

schneebly · 31/08/2008 13:39

If it is 3 years out of date coud he have had it in there for years? How long have you been together?

wabbit · 31/08/2008 13:49

It's odd if you know he's not carried a Condom around before... you sure it's the one out of the bedside table?

Ask him!! Tell him you couldn't help noticing condom in his wallet and wondered what on earth you were supposed to think...

If there's nothing behind it he'll be kind of flattered that you're posessive over him. I would be if I were questioned on something like this.

( I was questioned about a bruise that looked a bit like a love bite on one of my norks when dp came home from a weekend with mates... it had been inflicted by my 2yo!! I was sort of flattered that dp looked so alarmed.)

Ronaldinhio · 31/08/2008 13:50

YANBU if you are in a committed relationship and don't use condoms and this is a new occurance.
I'd be asking:
Is it the same condom that was on his bedside table?
What age are his friends to be impressed by the ownership and possession of a condom? 10

Just front him up

hecate · 31/08/2008 13:51

you could always open the packet carefully, remove the condom and throw it away. Replace it with a note saying "If you are looking for your condom, it is in the bin"

norksinmywaistband · 31/08/2008 13:52

Why Are you going through his wallet? do you already have trust issues?

OneBoyOneGirl · 31/08/2008 13:55

YANBU - if this was my DH i would be asking him about it too

wabbit · 31/08/2008 13:56

lots of reasons to rummage in a dp's wallet though norks! Don't you ever have to? or DP rummage around in your handbag?

findtheriver · 31/08/2008 13:58

hmm - did he give permission for you to look in his wallet? If not, it's a tricky one, though I like hecate's suggestion!
If he knew you were going into his wallet, he presumably doesnt think there's anything to worry about, or is extremely forgetful!

hatrick · 31/08/2008 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

norksinmywaistband · 31/08/2008 14:08

I don't think I have ever rummaged through my DH wallet in 15 years.
He may go into my handbag if I ask him to pass my purse or similar but generally would hand me the whole bag so I could retrieve my purse.

I have no reason to doubt him and he deserves his privacy as do I

hatrick · 31/08/2008 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Ronaldinhio · 31/08/2008 14:17

Why does someone always question the OP's reasons for being in a situation that is causing them distress?
What does it matter why she was in the wallet? Unless of course you are suggesting that she should always trust her instincts..?
It isn't for us to defend someone's supposd level of privacy that is between the Op and her DP
IMHO

norksinmywaistband · 31/08/2008 14:17

I suppose, We only have joint accounts so his cards are the same as mine and all cash is kept in a pot and we just take what we need.
I just didn't look for an innocent expaination for going through someone elses wallet

Granny22 · 31/08/2008 14:19

My DH carried the one condom in his wallet for so long that you could see the imprint in the soft leather. When asked WHY? he claimed that, as a good Scout, he should always have a condom in case he needed to carry water or protect valuables whilst crossing a river. He got a new wallet and decided to make a balloon of the condom. It burst immediately.

Ronaldinhio · 31/08/2008 14:19

Also apologise for being so judgey

mamalovesmojitos · 31/08/2008 14:56

lol Granny22

Beaches · 31/08/2008 15:10

Just ask him, that is the hardest thing to do which usualy makes it the right thing also!! I would never check my partners phone or wallet, I did with a previous partner, that was because I did not trust him...
I was right not to!

Original poster

petitmaman · 31/08/2008 18:11

hecate-brilliant!
do kind of have trust issues but trying to get over them, things like this do NOT help. so yes Norks, to be honest there was no innocent explaination for being in his wallet other than i am very nosey but not sure that is really the point.
he is out tonight (taken wallet, obviously) but if i am being brave will ask him tomorrow. thing is he is not just going to say "well, i was hoping to get lucky" is he?
btw, condom in wallet recent thing, have been togther 9 years. surely if he was going to use it he would have bought new ones?!

OP posts:

HonoriaGlossop · 31/08/2008 18:47

I would have a thing to say about that, certainly. Odd.

Hecate has a brilliant idea there though, would be seriously tempted

nobodysfool · 31/08/2008 19:01

You must ask him about it.
Sounds a bit dodgy to me i would not be impressed if i was in your position.
Do you have any reason to not trust him?

Original poster

petitmaman · 31/08/2008 19:09

about a year ago found out he had a two week fling while away but that was 4 years ago now. befor ethat trusted him completely. dont THINK he would do it again but hard to get rid of seeds od doubt IYSWIM

OP posts:

findtheriver · 31/08/2008 19:33

I think you will need to talk to him then. As he had a fling in the past, he should at least understand why you're worried.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 31/08/2008 19:36

i always used to carry one about in my bag when i was going out with friends. never for me even if i was single i dont like one night stands but for my friends if they needed one. dh has never minded. could it be that?

Original poster

petitmaman · 31/08/2008 19:37

You're right I do. but to be honest not sure it will help the SEEDS OF DOUBT. wish me luck......

OP posts:

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