to want to let her know what's going on?

[letitbe]

Name changed.

DP's work colleague has been having an affair with a much younger woman for a number of years.

He has a wife and a young family- all under 6 years.

everyone knows apart from the wife. She is lovely. We met on a couple of occasions and she is someone I would have liked to developed a friendship with, but when I found out about the affair I didn't persue this as felt I couldn't.

I loathe the 'colleague' and 'the other woman.' I just want to rage at them.

some how the bastard has managed to ingratiate'the other woman' into his families life e.g.she is invited by the husband to his wife's birthday parties!

The pair think that everyone has forgotten about their relationship and pretend it's history, but my DP has seen shall we say 'hard core' eveidence it continues.

If you could would you let the wife know somehow?

sounds like you have made a better decision. FWIW I have always felt for the Wife who is told as there is then massive pressure for her to leave even if she wants to stay and make a go of it she will feel a fool if she was "the last to know" as it were. Sorry if this has already been said but it happened to a friend of mine. good luck xx

Shybaby, I'd probably not dismiss out of hand what the stranger said. After all if they are a stranger without motive, why on earth would they tell me such a thing if it were untrue? Obv better coming from a friend but if that can't be managed I think I'd still prefer to be told.

Understand totally FA. I would prefer to know too. But sometimes I think of how I would have reacted and perhaps I may have preferred to believe my husband at that time. Denial is a powerful thing.

If i'd been told by a virtual stranger that my partner had taken a girl home from a club and slept with her in our bed, the night after I had our prem ds, when I was still in hospital and he'd cried and sworn it wasn't true....well I would have believed him and possibly been very angry with her for telling such awful lies. He could be very convincing. I knew him you see, and he would never have done something like that

It was true of course, but at the time I doubt I would have listened. His feeble excuses would have won me over...grrrr. I dont see myself as a weak person, and not too gullible either but you only hear what you want to hear sometimes