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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that hospital wont do appts after 4pm

62 replies

babyinbelly · 21/08/2008 13:54

I understand that most appts run during the day but dp cant take any more time off work so we need our appts after 4pm. our 12wk scan is the only appt that they would do after 4pm. The rest are no later than 3pm which is useless to us.

AIBU?

What are other areas like?

OP posts:
Pinkjenny · 21/08/2008 13:57

Not at all. Our baby clinic (for immunisations) have appointments between 12 and 3, so you have to take the whole blimmin afternoon off work. Drives me bonkers. Of course, I probably wouldn't leave dd after a jab, but I would prefer them to have later appointments so that I could still work the majority of the day.

Original poster
babyinbelly · 21/08/2008 13:59

Thanks for that. They talk to me like I am a complete pain in the arse for even suggesting that I want a later appt. And their attitude is that 'partners don't need to come'

OP posts:
dilbertina · 21/08/2008 14:05

Now at mine I think the reason they don't give later appts is that they are ALWAYS way behind...so a 3pm appt prob. won't be seen till 5pm anyway....therefore they have to leave last couple of hours free to do the backlog... I must admit other than for scans my DH didn't come to any appts and that didn't bother either of us. (I have T1 diabetes though so got a LOT of appointments - DH would have had to give up work!)

If important to you both could DP take some time off and then make it up?

catweazle · 21/08/2008 14:05

All my AN appts were at the local clinic, not the hospital. DH only came to the amnio and the ECV, both of which were very painful, but not the normal routine ones. Why does he need to go?

TigerFeet · 21/08/2008 14:06

I used to see my midwife at 4pm so that dh could come along but it was always under sufferance. She was always running late because she was only supposed to have 10 mins for each appointment whereas obviously some people need to be seen for longer than that so by the end of the day she could be running anything up to an hour late. She hated making appointments after 3.30 because she knew her clinic would overrun but we dared not take a 3.30 appointment and hope that she would be late as we couldn't be there before 4.

A load of waffle (sorry) but could explain why they don't want to make late appointments? They ought to have allowed 15 mins per appt (imho) and then she wouldn't run late, but then obv wouldn't be able to see as many people every day.

Many women do go along by themselves, which is fine if they are OK with that. I would have been happy to go by myself tbh but dh wanted to come so we did our best to make sure he could.

TigerFeet · 21/08/2008 14:07

catweazle - he doesn't need to go but why shouldn't he be able to if he wants to? It's not as if they are asking for a 7pm appointment - I don't think that 4pm is out of the way at all.

Original poster
babyinbelly · 21/08/2008 14:09

I'm not fussed if he comes or not tbh. But he feels that he should be there for every appt. The main prob. is that we are due a 20wk preg scan which we both feel he should be there for but it is so difficult to book a conveinient time. My 12wk one is at 4.20pm so why cant they do the 20wk one at the same time?

OP posts:
TigerFeet · 21/08/2008 14:17

Could well be because the 20 week one takes a lot longer than the 12 week one so the last one would need to start earlier, but 4.20 doesn't sound late. Is it because they don't issue appointments at that time or is it because they have all gone? I would imagine it would be the most popular time.

Original poster
babyinbelly · 21/08/2008 14:25

They said they dont do appts at that time. I dont mind what day they do it on or even if it is earlier or later than 20wks. All I ask is that dp can come. I don't think that is unreasonable. The consultant who I have to see only work one weekday morning a week and the midwife also will only do morning appts.

I would like to book my mw appts at my doctors but this has to be booked at the hospital who wont let me book at the doctors!

Not sure if that makes any sense?

OP posts:
wheresthehamster · 21/08/2008 14:28

They could have private patients after that time I suppose

TigerFeet · 21/08/2008 14:31

could he pull a sickie from work?

Blu · 21/08/2008 14:37

Actually, I think YABU. It's nice / important for your DP to come to scan, and if there is a problem, but I don't honestly see why they should work around your DPs work when he is not the patient. Hospitl staf work long hours, starting arly in the morning, and have loads of paperwork to complete at the end of each day.

Pick and choose the important appts for your dp to attend and ease up over the rest.

Original poster
babyinbelly · 21/08/2008 14:42

I cant help feeling that I am not the only person that must feel like this. Most people surely work 9-5 so why dont they have an evening clinc for these people?

Wouldn't it make more sense to have appts in the morning and evening in particular?

OP posts:
Original poster
babyinbelly · 21/08/2008 14:43

The thing is blu he cant make any of them!

OP posts:
lilacclaire · 21/08/2008 14:45

Agree with Blu.
If the appointment is so important for him to attend then he should discuss it with his workplace.

lilacclaire · 21/08/2008 14:46

Whatever hours you work, you are legally entitled to time off to attend your antenatal appointments.
The system is not flexible enough to take partners into account as well.
I understand your frustations but really think you expect far too much.

Poledra · 21/08/2008 14:49

The thing is, babyinbelly, the people working in the hospital have families and lives too. My dh works at a hospital and is often late home (or leaves very early in the morning) in order to fit in the necessary clinics. And that does not include on-calls. He will not be able to come with me to drop our oldest dd off at her first day at school as he has an oncology clinic that morning and has to leave home at 6.30am. As you say, most people work 9-5; why not the folks in the hospital too?

TigerFeet · 21/08/2008 14:49

I can see why he would particularly want to be at the 20 week scan tbh - if there was one appt I'd want dh to attend then this would be it.

Could he make the time up at work if he took a couple of hours off?

Blu, I do understand that people in the medical profession work really hard - my poor midwife was run off her feet - terribly overloaded with patients.

I just don't think that 4pm is too late to be asking for an appointment.

bozza · 21/08/2008 14:50

I agree with blu. Why can't he take any more time off? Surely if you needed to you would save some leave time for the scan? Or take unpaid? And I would have thought it was normal for partners to only come to major appts - scans etc. Routine ones I did alone.

Original poster
babyinbelly · 21/08/2008 14:51

Do people not generally take partners with them? I think this is very odd. Thought in todays modern society that partners would be encouraged to go. They say the more involved in pg partners are the more involved they are likely to be when baby is born so isn't it worth at least trying to be flexible in this respect?

OP posts:
EffiePerine · 21/08/2008 14:54

I would imagine they have to leave that last hour or so free for overrunning appointments and/or emergency scans. Likewise mws and consultants often work in a range of venues so can;t be there 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

My AN appts have all been in the middle of the day, which is a major PITA in terms of taking time off work. I just have to lose a whole day and take work home. And it means DH has to take up to 2 hours off, though he works from home and is freelance so it could be worse.

Mind you I am a bit peeved that I have to wait for a follow-up scan because all the consultants are on their hols in August!

and yes, the 20 week appt takes FAR longer than the 12 week on, plus if there are any issues you may need to be rescanned (I would think some appointments only have the one scanning dept, mine has 2).

Original poster
babyinbelly · 21/08/2008 14:55

The thing is he has just had a promotion that is actually at a higher rank then he is trained to currently so he is keen to make a good impression and would like to save his leave for when the baby comes.

OP posts:
EffiePerine · 21/08/2008 14:55

some hospitals that is!

EffiePerine · 21/08/2008 14:57

I understnad your frustration

but the hosp have to fit in a lot of people and their priority is to check the health and development of your baby, not to help your partner bond with the bump! They should be as flexible as poss so YOU can get there at the right time, but I can see why they can;t take your partner's schedule into account as well.

Blu · 21/08/2008 14:58

People who are pg are entitled to paid time off work fo ante-natal appts, so can be fitted in during the day.

Yes, I completely agree that a 20wk scan is a v important appt to attend...but that's why you need to plan and prioritise.

Having spent far too bloody long in hospitals with DS I hav noticed that as soon as the clinics finished, the deep clean and maintenance teams move in to do stuff that can't interfere with day time use - or to prepare fo following day.

I completely sympathise with how you feel, and agree that in an ideal world, all appts should be accessible to your dp - or maybe that Dads should also be entitled to time off for appts - but in the real world, I think you are asking quite a lot.

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