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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that hospital wont do appts after 4pm

62 replies

babyinbelly · 21/08/2008 13:54

I understand that most appts run during the day but dp cant take any more time off work so we need our appts after 4pm. our 12wk scan is the only appt that they would do after 4pm. The rest are no later than 3pm which is useless to us.

AIBU?

What are other areas like?

OP posts:
spicemonster · 21/08/2008 15:00

I think it's fair enough. Clinics ALWAYS overrun. I've never ever been in on time. They can't really work around your husband's schedule. I'm sure you could get a 1st thing in the morning appt and then he would be in work by 11ish. Surely that isn't going to impact massively on the leave he has when the baby comes? And won't he have to use up this year's leave anyway by the year end?

Original poster
babyinbelly · 21/08/2008 15:00

How long does the 20wk scan take?

I do appriciate that hospital staff have lives as well. However there are plenty of places that mean people have to work evenings. I work until 10pm so hardly see dp as he leaves at 6am.

Hospitals are 24hour places of work so I see no reason if this is the type of work you choose that one or two days a week a late clinic is unreasonable.

OP posts:
EffiePerine · 21/08/2008 15:02

length of scan depends on how cooperative your baby is! Mine was hiding a lot of the time and moving about, so it took some time to get all the measurements and even then I have to go back so they can check the face again.

TigerFeet · 21/08/2008 15:02

What's the latest time available to you? 3.30?

How long would it take him to get to the hospital from work?

If he were to finish at, say, 3 o'clock couldn't he work over another day? Conversely if you took the earliest appointment available then how late would he be?

If you haven't even had your 12 week scan yet then surely his employer can work round his being absent for a couple of hours for your 20 week scan - you will be giving plenty of notice. I doubt that will make any difference to his empoyers' opinion of how well he is doing his job.

Either that or he'll have to take half a day's leave (I thought you meant that he didn't have any available tbh, not that he was saving it)

I know this isn't what you want to do but you're going to have to work round it somehow.

EffiePerine · 21/08/2008 15:04

yes evening appointments would be nice

BUT as everyone is legally entitled to time off work for scans and the like I can see why they wouldn't be justified in terms of cost (overtime, security and all the rest). You shouldn't have the situation where a woman can't get to the hospital for a daytime appt. You do get the situation where their partner can't attend, but as I said that isn't the hospital's priority.

Morning appts are a good idea, my next one is at 9:30 which makes life so much easier in terms of actually getting into work.

Original poster
babyinbelly · 21/08/2008 15:12

I think we will have to take the last one available and he will have to finish early. Either that or try a lunchtime one. Not so bad now he has changed job as he has gone from travelling in the day to being in office. It would have been impossible 2 weeks ago as he could have been 30miles away with no way of getting back to town until his shift was over.

The problem is he doesn't want to tell his employers that I am pregnant yet!

OP posts:
Original poster
babyinbelly · 21/08/2008 15:13

EffiePerine. You make a very good point about hospital appt system. TBH I hadn't considered that pov

OP posts:
TigerFeet · 21/08/2008 15:14

Is he superstitious about the 12 week scan thing? You could always wait until after that to tell his employer - you'd still have 8 weeks to sort out whether he'd need to take leave or work round it somehow.

EffiePerine · 21/08/2008 15:17

oh and if he can;t get to your 12 week appt could you take someone else with you?

it is a pain, I'm v lucky in that DH works for himself so can take time off whenever. If he can only make one, would def go for the 20 week one as you see so much more. But don't go to the 12 week one on your own unless you really have to, I find scan appts v stressful and would not be happy turning up without some support.

elkiedee · 21/08/2008 15:22

I think in my first pregnancy dp came to more appointments, this time I'm more bothered that he comes to scans, plus if I have to see a consultant at 40+ weeks I hope he'll be able to make it. I've ended up having 2 scans plus a CVS (which I really did feel in need of support at) this time round, because my first dating scan showed I was earlier than thought and had to have another at actual 12 weeks for nuchal fold test.

They can't see everyone late afternoon.

Are there any appointments available nearer to home with community midwives, or is it all at the hospital? My mw appts will be close to home and I think quite early in the day.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 21/08/2008 15:25

I wouldn't even have thought of taking DH to normal antenatal appts tbh, either first time round or now I'm pg again.

In fact we had the opposite prob with the 12 week scan - hosp gave us an appt at 6pm so DH had to dash home from work to look after DS so that I could go to the scan by myself. The only one I really wanted him to be there for was the 20 wk one, which he was able to take time off for.

I can understand how worrying this be tho if you have lots of additional scans/hosp appts. So far this pg seems as uneventful as the first so just run of the mill MW appts and a couple of scans.

giddly · 21/08/2008 15:25

Surely this is a problem with your DH's work, not the hospital system?

Doing clinics in the evening would require a major increase in resources - people would need to be paid anti-social hours payments, and the whole infrastructure (e.g. appts, facilities for urgent referral etc.) would need to be in place. And as a high proportion of NHS staff are women, many would have child care problems (yes I know men can and should share child care, but we all know where the responsibility usually lies).
My DH only came for the scans.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 21/08/2008 15:26

Also - could you ask for first appt in the morning so that your DH could just go into work a little later than normal? I used to have my AN appts at 8.30 with my first pregnancy as it was on my way to work.

TenaciousG · 21/08/2008 15:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cosette · 21/08/2008 15:53

or c) the government recognises that fathers are parents too, should be present at scans, and gives them the right to take paid time off work to attend them.

We should be encouraging fathers to be involved with their children as early as possible, not making it harder for them.

spicemonster · 21/08/2008 16:00

Fathers don't need to be at scans though. That would cost the country a fortune and it isn't necessary. I'd rather the money was spent on increasing paternity leave tbh

TenaciousG · 21/08/2008 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueshoes · 21/08/2008 16:12

babyinbelly, I understand your frustration.

Welcome to the NHS. People go private to be able to arrange scans and appointments at times convenient to them, rather than to the hospital. When I fell pregnant, my boss cheekily suggested that I was paid enough and should go private so that I could arrange appointments that did not interfere with my work and not have to wait once I got there. I no longer work for him, thank goodness.

If you use the NHS, them's the breaks!

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 21/08/2008 16:19

Why does he need to be there? - he isn't being scanned!

TenaciousG · 21/08/2008 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blu · 21/08/2008 16:21

I was bloody pleased DP was with me at our 20 wk scan when DS was found to have what were described as 'significant congenital deformities' and, furthermore , they started talking about soft markers for this and non-viable that.

BUT I think the answer to that is that we prioritise scans for him to be at (rather than routine mw appts), we were lucky that his employers were v family-friendly and allowed him to work flexi around appointments - or otherwise he would have taken a half day or something.

hanaflower · 21/08/2008 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 21/08/2008 16:25

at our consultant led maternity unit, most afternoon appointments are kept back for people from this area, some of whom have to travel 100 miles each way to get there.

it takes ALL DAY because it's over A roads and/or involves ferry crossing.

i have had to go to all my scans alone, for all 4 pregnancies including several to diagnose missed m/c, because DH already has to take off work to look after the girls as it takes so long to get to the CLU.

sadly, a lot of places have to stop appointments so that they can fit in emergencies, if they run behind, etc, and as EP pointed out, everyone's legally entitled to time off.

DH swaps shifts or does split shifts or makes up time if he needs to look after the girls.

blueshoes · 21/08/2008 16:30

Blu, that is also what we did, when dd's 13 week scan showed abnormalities in various major organs. I was scanned more than any living person at all times of the day and waited hours (Harris Birthright) even after dh took time off each time to attend them with me.

But the expertise at that (NHS) hospital is first class (much better than private) and their care excellent. It was worth the wait and inconvenience.

sherbetdipdab · 21/08/2008 16:35

DH does clinics a couple of days a week, but they can't do evening ones as when the clinic finishes he has to see patients who have come in as emergencies during the day and do his ward round and prepare his theatre patients for the next day.

To also do an evening clinic would mean he didn't finish til after 9pm then have to do dictation and paperwork and still work at 7am the next day.

He hasn't made any of my appointments for this pregnancy.