to be annoyed that hospital wont do appts after 4pm

[babyinbelly]

I understand that most appts run during the day but dp cant take any more time off work so we need our appts after 4pm. our 12wk scan is the only appt that they would do after 4pm. The rest are no later than 3pm which is useless to us.

AIBU?

What are other areas like?

Blueshoes - maybe we sat across a crowded waiting room from each other (at Harris Birthright)

I completely agree with you about the standard of service. It was a mw from there who took the time to call me at 7.30am on the day the amnio results came in - even though she knew I was booked in for the official appt later that morning. because she knew how anxious-making waiting was.

After having one pregnancy where I had to go to every appt on my own because it was a different dad and we were no longer in a relationship I want to at least have my partner there for scans. Also it is his first baby and to us it is a very special time that we want to share. The other appt are not just routine. I had a cs last time so they are for vbac clinic and consultant appt.

My booking in appt my sil came to as dp was at work as this wasnt a big deal.

TBH the hospital saying, well no one else brings their partner just got my back up even more.

"Most people surely work 9-5"

Yes they do - and so do health service staff.

As has been said clinic slots are 10 mins which is ridiculously short - staff overrun constantly if they actually listen and speak to the women booked in (and then get slagged off for being late by other women).

The midwives have very little (or any) say in when the clinics run, what time the clinics run or how long their slots are.

Hopefully you won't need many appointments and so your frustrations will be reduced.

I do feel frustrated because its not as if I want a very late appt. 4pm would do nicely but I think last one is at 3.20pm.

Have just spoken to dp again and he says cant guarantee being able tto get off early in case an emergency at work but if I make the last appt possible then he will do his best to be there.

This again doesn't help that consultant will only see people before 10am on a monday morning but I think I'll have to go this one alone.

Yes you are right gagarin wont have many more appts after these as 2nd baby so shouldn't be too bad.

"dp cant take any more time off work"
"just had a promotion that is actually at a higher rank then he is trained to currently so he is keen to make a good impression and would like to save his leave for when the baby comes."

So it's actually not true that he can't take time off work, he can take time off work he would just have to use holiday, which is what a lot of DH would have to do if they wanted to be at a scan.
YABU

Also why should NHS employees have to work longer hours to provide evening clinics(and not many of them just work 9-5 already) so your husband can make a good impression at work.

It was your and your dp choice to have a baby, and your and your dp responsibility to go to scans together if that is what you want. It is also your and your dp responsibility to ensure his work commitments are modified to enable him to go with you, if that is what you want. YABU to expect the NHS to change things just because the present situation does not fit in with your plans.

I worked as a midwife in an area with predominately RAF families. Try going through a pregnancy alone with a hubby in Iraq or Afghanistan. Then you might have something to moan about.

i would agree with your, cheshire.

we moved here from a city location because the rent was cheaper and the quality of life for our children better in our opinions.

that was our choice.

being a rural area, health services can't be what they are in a city and we are far from family.

as a result, that means i need to go alone to the appointments and birth because someone has to look after our other children.

well, that's life, a trade off.

he can use leave then that's how it goes.

or you can go private for scans, if he's got a promotion, why not?

20 week scans can be had privately for about £200.

Hospitals aren't 24 hour places of work. Some areas of hospitals are 24 hour places of work.

I'd have thought that all out patient clincs are 9-5. I would love to be able to take my dd to the hospital to have her eyes checked in the evening so I don't have to take time off work, etc. However I know its not going to happen. I don't have to take her that frequently so its not the end of the world.

a lot of clinics run just half days. i know at the hospitral i attend for pregnancy, monday am is diabetes clinic, afternoon is soemthing else.

i think thursday am is anti-d clinic.

YABU really. dh doesnt have to attend every appointment with you, and if he wants to, then thats an issue he has to take up with work, not the nhs clinics.

Scans are medical tests to assess the health of your unborn baby, not 'bonding' opportunities for the parents. Does he plan on coming to every single doctor's appointment your child ever has? If it's really important to him he should arrange time off work, medics have lives too.

Agree that a scan should be enough of a priority to take time off work, but it isn't just about being a bonding opportunity - it's about providing support for the mother. A scan is different from a routine ante-natal appointment, and most mothers get a bit apprehensive about it, and sadly sometimes there is bad news. I think it's a shame that we dismiss fathers so early on as being not required.

Having said that, you'd expect a scan to be in normal working hours. Still think time off for scans should be part of the paternity rights, but that's another discussion..