AIBU to think that once you have paid your childcare, its not really worth working.? Is it that you just don`t want to look after your own kid. prefering to stick them in daycare as soon as the shine wears off, it really bugs me!

[discusturd]

Some go from 7-6 and never see there parents, I know I will get slated but in the nursery I work some kids hardly know who their parents are.

so who is paying for mums to stay at home looking after these kids

to be quite honest considering my workload i might pop out a couple of sprogs on the taxpayers - sittin at home, watching jeremy kyle.

after graduation and starting to work we got a mortgage based on 2adult wages.need those 2wages to maintain the payments

so post-baby i still need the mortgage paid
i also like having disposable income
not scraping by as i did when a student
yes i do like holidays,wine,dvd,etc

no i am not prepared to leave my home
eke out a living
watch every penny
because i had a baby

i work hard for what i do have and no i don't consider it avaricious to want tv,dvd,disposable income
because i want like and value these items

as i have said these are individual choices.but frankly i think people should do what they want

i really don't care how some one else prioritises their own childcare

I think too many people use the "being at home is a luxury I can't afford" line when they could afford it with a few cut backs, but instead of going without,they choose not to, but they don't want to admit this or face it themselves. This doesn't refer to people who work just to pay the rent/mortgage, but I suspect it does refer to many poeple with kids in F/T care who won't give up any of their pre kids lifestyle.

I could'nt agree more. I have worked p/t in the past out of finacial neccessity and may well need to do this again in the future. At present we are getting by on my DH's salary by sticking to a budget.

It can be hard being at home, boring, unfufilling it but can also be wonderful I can't think of anything worse than my kids being bought up by someone else.

People are way too materalistic these days - yes I have a nice house, nice things but this has been a gradual thing and there are lots of things we go without but my kids have me and my imput. Nobody can ever replace a parent's imput and you will never get the early years back.

Being at home isn't a luxury I want

'My plan is to have a baby, take 12 months off on maternity leave then go back to my job. I plan to put my child into the work creche which is based on the same site as my office. My mum has just retired and lives about 5 miles away but I wouldn't expect her to look after my child. She may offer, but I am not expecting it.'

Do you have any children currently?

hh i stuck exactly to my pre-baby plan.paid nursery deposit at 12wk pg.work ft.that was always the plan

so if beanie has her plan of course it can work for her

why not

Beanieb isn't that a little bit along the lines of what the op was about? Granted it was put in a rude and confrontational way.

SM - I had a plan. 2 children before 30y. Put them in childcare and continue with my career that I loved.
Hmmm - didn't quite work out that way as I hadn't allowed for the strength of feelings I had to not want to leave my children and the difficulties I would have finding suitable childcare for them. Also didn't allow for how much their needs would impinge on my work, how tired I'd be at the end of the day, how my career just didn't seem the be-all and end-all that it had been pre-children.

'Granted it was put in a rude and confrontational way.'

As always on here if you don't play ball, you get comments like this.

"Beanieb isn't that a little bit along the lines of what the op was about? Granted it was put in a rude and confrontational way"

I guess so. I would still like to know what is wrong with it...

PS - I don't have a career, I have a 'job' which I enjoy. I am sure I will enjoy my kids and being a mum too but I don't want to be a SAHM. I want to be a working mum.

Beanie,

So you don't have any children yet then?

No I don't but I don't think I have to say 'speaking as a mother' for my opinion to be valid.

I also don't think my not having been able to conceive yet (Been trying for 10 months) is relevant. Yes, I may feel very differently and it may even be a wrench to leave my children in childcare but that is what I plan to do and I don't think I should be castigated for

a. not having children yet
b. Making those choices when I do.

Doesnt anybody believe in 'each to their own' anymore. Thats all I have to say!

Beanie. Yes but you cannot make informed comments on this subject.When you have baby you may or not feel differently. A mother's love is stronger than any other and you may decide that you bundle is too precious to leave F/t unless you need to. I have had fertility problems myself so can empathize.

actually Happyhoney - can you tell me why it's in any way relevant that I don't have any kids yet, or were you just clarifying it? If so - why?

'No I don't but I don't think I have to say 'speaking as a mother' for my opinion to be valid.'

You quite frankly are speaking drivel.

Very simple beanie, you have not felt a mother's love and that may radically change your views. You under estimationg the bond you will have.

Happyhoney - that's so rude. I haven't been making informed comments on anything. I have said what I plan to do and that I think it's wrong for people to say what I plan to do is wrong.

Fair enough - had I come on here spouting about how being a SAHM is wrong then you might have a point. However I have simply stated what I plan to do. I have never tried to present evidence that being a SAHM is wrong or that going to work is better, not once. I have said I would like to make my own choice without someone like the OP insisting I would be damaging my (Hypothetical ) children.

As far as I know I don't have fertility problems but thanks for your empathy.

Happy Honey you say "Very simple beanie, you have not felt a mother's love and that may radically change your views. You under estimationg the bond you will have"

so are you saying then that motehrs on this thread who do/have/will put their children into childcare and go back to work are not feeling proper mother's love and do not have a strong bond with their kids?

As far as I know I don't have fertility problems but thanks for your empathy.

I thought that was what you were implying.
All i can say is come back when you've had your baby. I find it funny that it is rude to have an opinion. if you don't want other people's opinions - don't post on here.

Beanieb You really don't know how you will feel after your baby is born. You might feel the same and go ahead as planned or...you might not.
I was completely unprepared for how I felt after I had my first baby.

Happyhoney Do you think the thread title *wasn't rude or confrontational?

'so are you saying then that motehrs on this thread who do/have/will put their children into childcare and go back to work are not feeling proper mother's love and do not have a strong bond with their kids?'

As I said before wait until you have baby prehaps then we will agree or not.I was planning to go back to work f/t after 1st DC but as soon as she was born I could'nt do it - we managed.

'Happyhoney Do you think the thread title *wasn't rude or confrontational? '

Juuule, sorry my fault crosse wires.

I don't think it was very well put.