to not let dcs be bridesmaids, when they're not invited to the reception afterwards!

[raindropsonroses]

AIBU - I've said no to dh letting the dcs be bridesmaids for his brother's wedding in December.
The reason I've said no, is that there are NO children allowed at the reception afterwards, so we'd have to go straight home after the church service.
Dh is very angry and thinks IABU but I don't think it is fair to treat dcs like wedding accessories!

Have you or DH spoken to your SIL to find out what her plans are with her DCs? I personally would tell BIL to stuff it, but you never know if you/DH gently shake SILs tree about this one then she might turn out to agree with you.

rain, show your DH this thread.

he's being a twat, tbh.

It's just SO strange. Why on earth would you have 2 los you'd never met before as bridesmaids??

Rain - have you/dh told them now that you're not going? Have you explained very clearly why, not just the snubbing, but the logistics of it all? What did they say?

And, agree with expat, your dh just isn't getting it, is he?

i remember being a bridesmaid and i was very excited by it all - walking down the aisle with the bridge, holding flowers, pretty dress, having my hair done, being in special photos that other people weren't in. at the reception i didn't feel as "bridesmaidy" cos i just sat with my family like my brother and sister. the special bit for me was the ceremony - not the reception. she may still want to do it, although perhaps not if her sister isn't doing it?

bride not bridge!!

Are you and DH invited to reception? If yes, then just take both DDs with you. Unlikely for anyone to ask 2 small girls to leave, especially if they are dressed as bridesmaids.

I was a bridesmaid for my uncle (I was about 10) and we didn't go to the evening, it never worried me.
When DD was a bridesmaid and was invited, there was trouble, and I wished I had never taken her.

You say that "apparently" they were very clear about their wishes. Who did they speak to? How did you find out that they want your dds as bridesmaids but not at reception?

If they spoke to dh directly, did he point out the impossible logistics of complying with their request?