to not let dcs be bridesmaids, when they're not invited to the reception afterwards!

[raindropsonroses]

AIBU - I've said no to dh letting the dcs be bridesmaids for his brother's wedding in December.
The reason I've said no, is that there are NO children allowed at the reception afterwards, so we'd have to go straight home after the church service.
Dh is very angry and thinks IABU but I don't think it is fair to treat dcs like wedding accessories!

SIL lives less than 30 min drive away. Should have read dc, she has one 5 year old too.
I've never met future SIL actually. I was supposed to meet them at their engagement party, but that was child free too (more understandably) and we had childcare problems that evening, so dh went alone.
I'm sure they expect me to go home with dcs and dh to go to the reception alone. My edd is due in Dec too so I don't fancy the travelling much.

-reception is straight after church service

What a horrid position to be in. I think this is appallingly rude and inconsiderate - to be honest, just seems bizarre and not thought through; giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she hasn't really thought through the logistics - not to mention the etiquette! However, if DH is dead set on it, then how much do you want to stand by your principles?? I'd get him to call his sister to say it's not really practical but that they'd be thrilled to be bridesmaids - hence, can't they come to the reception? I totally respect someone's choice to have a child-free reception but I do think it's a bit odd and the sort of thing that people say who think all children are complete monsters all the time (or of course people just hoping to reduce costs as lots of parents won't then come either!!)

she's sounds like an inconsiderate cow.

and your DH is being a twonk, tbh.

if my own sister pulled a stunt like that i'd get her told.

How come she has a 5 year old and she doesn't want other children at the reception? I would understand that attitude if she were a person who finds children irritating due to lack of experience, but... she has a 5 year old! I wouldn't dream to leave my 5 year old out of a major family celebration...

I do agree it's massively rude.

But I also think that as it's dh's brother it's up to him to decide, negotiate and organise it if he wants it to go ahead.
My sil got married in Las Vegas. I couldn't go personally for work commitments and I didn't think any of us could go for price reasons tho lovely pils did offer to help us out a bit. My partner had to decide if there was any way he could go with or without our kids and then communicate it all to his sister. His sister, his decision, his job to sort it out.

chandra -Oops sorry the bride and groom don't have any dcs. That's dh's other sibling who lives closer to the venue.

Its not her 5yo chandra, its raindropsonroses dhs sisters 5yo ie raindropsonroses and bridzillas SIL.

Its even worse if they expect you to take dcs home by yourself when you are 9 months pg. I couldn't drive the last few weeks of my first pregnancy.

Just saw your update. Agree there's no way you should have to take the girls home while dh goes onto the reception. The cheek of it. Tell dh you're not going and it's up to him whether he wants to allow thw girls to do it and take them home afterwards? Can he not talk to his bro about how logistically difficult it will be?

Oh, I see, thank you all

sorry x post.

DH said 'tell em to sod that' when I told him what thread I was reading.

He reckons kids should be at weddings to chase each other around and throw up with excitement... its part of the process

How about passing all the responsibility to your husband? let him take them to the wedding to be bridesmaids and allow him to baby sit them or bring them home for the reception. Obvioulsy, that restriction also excludes you from the wedding, or gives you the worst hand...

That's a nice way to steal's someone's special day.

YANBU I wouldn't bother.

what is that extra 's there? (gosh, go back to my earlier name for a few days and old the mistakes from the past come back... )

i could understand if they weren't invited to the evening reception but i would expect them to be invited to the daytime reception.

i like Scummy Mummy's, Chandra's and lapin's suggestion.

Let him deal with every bit of it.

YANBU