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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pi**ed off my MIL gave my DD a Dairylea Luchbox..

56 replies

daisydora · 14/08/2008 20:10

...DD not quite two, was aghast when she told me she'd had one for her lunch. They are full of crap aren't they???

I tried to e cool but think my face gave it away. I asked her not to do it again, she said she gave her other grandson them all the time and his mum (my SIL) doesn't mind. I said I didn't care about SIL, I'd prefer she didn't eat such crap.

How bad are they?? I know ones not going to hurt but don't want her to think that I want DD eating that kind of thing.

OP posts:
Turniphead1 · 14/08/2008 20:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

DillyTanty · 14/08/2008 20:14

depends how often she looks after her, imo.

bozza · 14/08/2008 20:14

TBH I think you are over reacting a bit. MILs do give junk. Mine has been known to buy that bear shaped meat which I think is pretty yuk. Among lots of other things that I would prefer she didn't.

MatNanPlus · 14/08/2008 20:14

depends on which one, the ham and cheese one is typical ham and cheese so ok as a once/twice a week thing given the salt content but not an everyday thing, a bit of a treat once a week at Granny;s house.

Does MIL not know how to do a plate of cheese soldiers, buttered bread, nice ham, veggies?

I can see the easiness of it but still.

Rather a pack up went with DD to be honest if me.

FanjolinaJolly · 14/08/2008 20:14

Well ,its not the healthiest meal but now and again it won't hurt(My MIL feeds the dcs lots of crap food,I think it is a grandmas prerogative)I used to be a bit annoyed but lifes to short,its not like shes feeding her crack cocaine

MmeLindt · 14/08/2008 20:15

If it was once a week then I would be unhappy. Would not make a fuss if DD was only there once every couple of weeks.

EffiePerine · 14/08/2008 20:18

I'd worry about the salt and suggest ham sandwiches instead

(plus have you tasted them? they are disgusting)

Original poster
daisydora · 14/08/2008 20:22

LOL, at the bear shaped meat. I don't mind that much as it is only once in a while but I just can't understand why she couldn't have just have had bread and cheese....

I think it just got to me as she always gives her things I say she doesn't want/like

Was also pee-d that she put DD to sleep on her knee!!!! So she only had 1/2 hour and has been a stroppy mare all evening refusing to eat her tea. Although that could be the salt overload

OP posts:
Overmydeadbody · 14/08/2008 20:25

daisydora this makes interesting reading!

Overmydeadbody · 14/08/2008 20:29

Also, have a look at page 8 for a breakdown of the salt content. This document by trading standards makes for interesting reading.

TequilaMockinBird · 14/08/2008 20:29

DD (10) loves these horrible things and eats them a couple of times a week in her packed lunch.

She's a really fussy eater and won't usually eat ham or cheese so I don't mind all that much - its better than plain white bread!

Overmydeadbody · 14/08/2008 20:30

Dairylea: the cheese with more salt than the sea

TequilaMockinBird · 14/08/2008 20:30

Oh dear, after reading that OMDB, I think plain white bread might be better after all

Shoegazer · 14/08/2008 20:34

YANBU as it is your child and it is up to you to set limits on what she eats and you hace already done that sensibly by saying that you know one will not hurt but you have told your MIL that you don't want your DD to eat any more.

Original poster
daisydora · 14/08/2008 20:35

Glad I told her not to buy them again.....

OP posts:
bozza · 14/08/2008 20:37

TBH I'm surprised my MIL hasn't done the lunchables thing (or maybe she has and I haven't been told!). She likes to make a special effort for the children and her way of making a special effort is to buy special kiddie food/drink. So she buys thomas shaped spaghetti and scooby do yoghurts and bear meat and fruit shoots () and buns with pictures on, then sends me home with the leftovers. But we only go every 2 or 3 weeks and it is not all this at once so I can cope with it.

DS said once about a year ago that he liked buffets so now we get the full iceland spread everytime we go and Sara Lee gateaux which is a shame because she actually makes lovely puddings. DH and I are planning a strategy whereby we mention how much DD loves roast dinners and how fantastic DS thinks her rhubarb crumble and custard is.

YoungYolandaYorgensen · 14/08/2008 20:59

I don't know what they do to the meat in lunchables but it tastes fake. My ds's hate it. And they are fussy eaters, too, it's not a case of "Tarquin only eats organic lentils etc"

TenaciousG · 14/08/2008 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

colacubes · 14/08/2008 21:06

Sorry but think it wont do any harm, not her stable diet just a treat from nanny!

Feel there is quite a lot of nanny bashing when it comes to grandparents and food.

If they love them and want to treat them so what!

bozza · 14/08/2008 21:09

Mine are 7 and 4 though so I think I have relaxed my opinions a bit.

hatwoman · 14/08/2008 21:11

personally I think there's a balance here - between looking after our children's health and looking after our (and their) relationships. and the importance of the latter shouldn't be under-estimated. difficult from the op to know how exactly how the tone of the conversation started but sounds like it ended badly - our children's relationships with gps and the overall family context in which they sit are, imho, one of the most important factors in their happiness. if I were the OP I'd at some stage in the future make a casual explanation. I'd poke a bit of fun at myself for being possibly a bit over-protective (even if I didn't think i had been - it's diplomacy), I'd appeal to her own experiences as a mum. "oh sorry if I seemed a bit ott, you know what it's like when you're trying to get everything right, I don't mind her having stuff like that once in a while...".

amidaiwish · 14/08/2008 21:58

when i read the OP i thought, ok YABU and it's all about balance. Now and again it won't hurt them.

Then i clicked on the link and am shocked at the contents. I have changed my mind, YANBU. I would say something subtly like "they have so many E numbers, more salt than the sea so they're not recommended for children under 5" (make up a number...). DD would be just as happy with some cheese, ham and bread. She will think you're being overprotective, but she will probably take it in and not buy them again.

macdoodle · 14/08/2008 22:07

My MIL used to have DD1 twice a week after school - while she cooks a meal for her and FIL (she is rubbish cook but does stew, gammon etc with veg and tats)...she BUYS special stuff for my DD1 (chips, pizza, nuggets crap crap and crap)...I once suggested she give DD1 whatever her and FIL were eating - she says she prefers the crap(though she didn't say crap )...well she is 6 of course she does.....
I just grit my teeth, she is a good MIL and a doting gran.....and now she only has her once a week as she has DD2 once a week (luckily I send her food with her as she is being weaned but dread when she gets to feed her as well).....

Mamazon · 14/08/2008 22:10

She wont die from one lunchbox.

seriously there is so much food snobbery nowadays.
being carefull and feeding our children a good balanced diet doesn't mean that anything "bad" should be banned.

kiddiz · 14/08/2008 22:58

I think it may be that grandparents are further removed from the baby years and have been through the teenage years too. I used to be very particular about what my dcs ate when they were little. Now as 17 and 20 year olds they throw allsorts of crap down their necks and there's nowt I can do about it!!! In fact my pointing out that a kebab from the local, extremely dodgy looking takeaway might not be the healthiest thing to eat only serves to make them more determined to eat it!!!! It's natural to want to give your dcs the healthiest start in life but I have certainly had to compromise my standards as they have got older...No choice in it really.