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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked that my nanny cant cope with looking after my children full time in the holidays ?

475 replies

demandingboss · 11/08/2008 13:22

Thats it really. We were away for the first 2 weeks.She has had them for 3 weeks and only has this week to go then she has a week off which is costing me a fortune to cover and then she has 3 days one week and 2 days the next and they are back to school.

Told me this am that she cant cope with having them 11 hors a day in the hols its just too exhausting and she spent all weekend in bed feeling poorly with the stress of it all.

She gets paid full time wages all year rund and has lots of perks ( and I maen lots ).

She seemed to be suggesting that they could go to holiday club so she could get on with some studying during the day!!!

I was so gobsmacked I just left and acme to work!

To be honest Im not expecting to get any replies to this as you will I am sure be too shocked to type!

OP posts:
Original poster
demandingboss · 11/08/2008 16:48

yes clumsymum the washing baskets were overflowing this morning when I left. My cleaner was in this morning as well. Its not like she has a hard time of it!

the thing that upsets me is she is always having a winge at me about DS behaviour so we give him a telling off but she is paid to structure activities. Poor little boy ! He is bright and bored with the TV

I am very unhappy about the whole thing.

OP posts:
moondog · 11/08/2008 16:52

I'm surprised you have kept her so long. What does she want to study?

Original poster
demandingboss · 11/08/2008 16:53

she wants to change career.alternative medicine and cant afford to do it unless she works at the same time.

And yes Im shocked at myself.

OP posts:
JuneBugJen · 11/08/2008 16:56

had advice from MNetters about cleaner who was taking the piss... they all said get rid, so I did!
It felt good as I didn't like the fact that here i was slaving my arse off at work and she was spending no time at all cleaning my house. You should feel the same.
You don't want them to work their fingers to the bone but a bit of effort if you are paying them is fair enough. Ithink it says alot that she is changing career. She is coasting.

FabioFridgeFluffFrenzy · 11/08/2008 16:58

Her best bet is to work in an alternative therapy setting as she studies then.
It's a bit like working as a beautician whilst training to be a nanny, isn't it? Makes little sense.

What she's looking for an alternative to is waorking for a living.

Some nannies are fking beyond me. You don't get this kind of titting about from childminders.

expatinscotland · 11/08/2008 16:59

to be fair, 11 hours a day is A LOT.

but she sounds like she needs to be devoting her time to studying so needs to move on.

Original poster
demandingboss · 11/08/2008 17:00

But that is the issue. I feel sorry for her. I calculated she would have to earn about 40k a year to have the same standard of living that she does now and she hasnt a hope of doing that in her new chosen career. She has no money, house , husband or kids and is so hopless with money she will sink in the real world.

And its that pity that has made me soft.

God when will I get a grip ......

OP posts:
Earlybird · 11/08/2008 17:02

How long has she worked for you?

Original poster
demandingboss · 11/08/2008 17:02

But dont most live in nannies work an 11 to 12 hour day all year. 40 weeks of the year she works an 8 hour day. I think it falls into the dream job category. She has no commute.

Plenty of people I know earn less that 40k a year and are out of the house for 11 hours a day.

OP posts:
Original poster
demandingboss · 11/08/2008 17:02

18 months EB

OP posts:
FabioFridgeFluffFrenzy · 11/08/2008 17:02

Her decision, that, db, not yours.
Most people downgrade financially when they have children.
If that's not her plan, then she'll have to sod off to Saudi to earn more as a nanny.

poshtottie · 11/08/2008 17:03

Didn't she accept the job so she could study though? (if you are the same person)

I think you could tell her you need a nanny/housekeeper so the job has changed and for the amount you are paying you could get a full-time person.

JuneBugJen · 11/08/2008 17:04

look, for the same amount of money my nanny works 10 hours a day with my dd4 and ds10months.

There is no school preschool etc, nothing like that. And yet she takes them to the park, library, friends houses, mucks around in the garden, drawing etc (and she is over 50, so no need for the nanny to be 18 to have energy!) They have a great time and I bet are far more high maintenance than yours due to their ages.
What do your dcs think of her?

poshtottie · 11/08/2008 17:08

Why do you feel sorry for her? I was a nanny until I was 40, no money, husband, or house. In a year I retrained, met dh bought a fab house and now have ds aged 2.

nailpolish · 11/08/2008 17:09

you want her to work 11 hrs a day 5 days a week?

ie a 55 hr week? thats illegal. expecially as she wont get a break

i wrk 12 hr shifts with 2 half hour breads and i can tell you its exhausting. and i only do 3 days a week

nailpolish · 11/08/2008 17:09

plus you are not paying her the minimum wage of £5.75 or whatever it is if you are giving her £300 for a 55 hr week

nailpolish · 11/08/2008 17:10

breaks not breads! lol

FabioFridgeFluffFrenzy · 11/08/2008 17:10

np different rules for domestic staff, or so I have read on here.

JuneBugJen · 11/08/2008 17:10

actually, that is a fair point nailp.

What kind of breaks does she have?

expatinscotland · 11/08/2008 17:11

'look, for the same amount of money my nanny works 10 hours a day with my dd4 and ds10months.'

'But dont most live in nannies work an 11 to 12 hour day all year.'

I thought the max a person could work was 48 hours/week?

Is there some sort of opt-out clause?

Seriously, I thought that was illegal.

poshtottie · 11/08/2008 17:11

nailpolish, I don't think that applies to live in nannies.

expatinscotland · 11/08/2008 17:11

x-post, naily.

sorry

expatinscotland · 11/08/2008 17:12

poshtottie, that is shocking!

that's slaving them.

omg, if my kids ever want to be nannies i'll do my best to stop them.

how awful!

Original poster
demandingboss · 11/08/2008 17:12

Hey PT what did you retrain to ?

NP things are different for a live in nanny. All nannies work these sorts of hours. NNIck will be along in a mo to give you the legals but its not the same as a factory job for instance.

DC's JBJ click with her but they would..its stability in their life. If I asked them directed questions I am sure I would get a different answer.

OP posts:
nailpolish · 11/08/2008 17:12

evne live in nannies are entitled to a legal working week limit and breaks ffs