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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I KNOW I'm not, but I think they are.

115 replies

HotToddyRumPunch · 05/08/2008 20:55

MIL is in a rest home. Nice little place, quite impressed so far. But they have a cat, and I don't like it going into her room. I think it's unhygenic to have cat hair about the place, with delicate lungs and general elderly ill-health. I've asked them to keep it out of there or get rid of it. They have refused.

OP posts:
smurfgirl · 05/08/2008 20:56

I don't think a cat would make a difference actually.

Katisha · 05/08/2008 20:57

How does she feel about it?
Personally I'd be gasping for breath as am allergic to the things...

themildmanneredjanitor · 05/08/2008 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ivykaty44 · 05/08/2008 20:57

what does your MIL think to cats? Is she allergic to cats? Was the cat at the home when you checked the place over? Or did they get the cat after your MIL went to live at the home?

JodieG1 · 05/08/2008 20:57

Why would them having a cat matter unless allergies were involved?

objectivity · 05/08/2008 20:57

YABU.Pets are therapeutic. You are being a leetle melodramatic I think. What's so unhygienic about cat hair?

Many an old lady has lived with a catand not died, specifically,of cat hair poisoning or even death by choking on cat hair.

tweeni · 05/08/2008 20:58

if MIL doesn't want the cat in her room YANBU.

posieflump · 05/08/2008 20:58

Surely it's up to her not you?

AddictedToMyEarplugs · 05/08/2008 20:58

What does MIL think? If she likes the cat then keep out of it. Some oldies love petting cats, keeps them company.

I think YABU to ask them to get rid of it.

themildmanneredjanitor · 05/08/2008 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheArmadillo · 05/08/2008 21:00

is she allergic to cats or have a particular condition that makes it difficult for her to be around them?

Did whoever chose the home know there was a cat?

What does your MIL think of the cat?

I think animals (usually cats and dogs) have proved of great benefit emotionally to those in care homes. IF all the other residents enjoy having it I think it is a bit much to ask them to get rid cos you don't like it - you haven't even said that your MIL has a problem with it. I doubt there would be any great risk to health else they wouldn't be allowed one.

Cat faeces yes, but not general cat fluff. How many elderly have animals? Doesn't seem to bother them.

TBH I think YABVU.

Original poster
HotToddyRumPunch · 05/08/2008 21:04

It licks it's backside on her bed. Dreadful thing. She loves it, but she's always picked up waifs and strays.

OP posts:
BabieWabbit · 05/08/2008 21:05

Well, there you go..She loves the cat.

Original poster
HotToddyRumPunch · 05/08/2008 21:06

No, there wasn't any information in the literature about a cat.

OP posts:
tweeni · 05/08/2008 21:06

If she doesn't mind YABU.

tweeni · 05/08/2008 21:06

btw why have you namechanged for this?

TheArmadillo · 05/08/2008 21:07

you are being really unreasonable then.

She likes it, I'm guessing the other residents like it and so do the owners.

Tbh you are coming across as really arrogant. Other people's wishes don't seem to matter in this to you, even your MILs.

Plenty of people own cats, including the elderly and they're not all dropping dead from it.

themildmanneredjanitor · 05/08/2008 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HotToddyRumPunch · 05/08/2008 21:07

yes, she also loves the man in the room opposite who collects interesting pebbles, but I still wouldn't be happy if he was licking his bum on her bed.

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 05/08/2008 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2shoes · 05/08/2008 21:10

yabu
if she loves it what is the problem. I should imagine in her sterile world, stroking a cat would be very comforting.

TheArmadillo · 05/08/2008 21:10

tough shit

not your choice

Because an elderly man is of course comparable to a cat.

If your MIL is enjoying her rest home (and lets face it not all have such a nice time) then why do you want to rock the boat and make things a problem for her? Surely it is up to her to decide if she has a problem. It isn't about you.

objectivity · 05/08/2008 21:11

She might be happy with that though. Or has age taken away her libido entirely - as well as her free will - and thus rendered her unable to enjoy and behold the sight of pebble man licking his bum on her bed?

If she likes it, then whether it is arse licking cat or arse waving pebble collector it is not your concern really unless she is being manipulated or abused in either situation.

nell12 · 05/08/2008 21:11

Your MIL is in a rest home; I am sure it is the best place for her and the place where she can feel cared for and be looked after by qualified professionals.

But TBH a rest home is not her own home, and at times that may feel unsettling or even a little bit sad.

If the cat makes her happy, then why is it an issue? It probably enhances the lives of many of the residents and would not be there if the local authority thought it was in any way unhygienic.

Try looking at the bigger picture, your MIL's health is based as much on her happiness as anything else.

Original poster
HotToddyRumPunch · 05/08/2008 21:12

Well, how rude.

OP posts: