to think this woman is a cow? (topic may offend/upset)

[crazybuslady]

Was waiting for a bus yesterday, while at bus stop I saw a mother, dd (approx age 4) and grandma come to bus stop, had seen them earlier walking down the street.

DD didnt want to go on the bus she was crying saying she wanted to stay with granny. Mother mentioned to granny than dd was tired - hadnt slept that day. Mother started to wind the child up eg "you ARE going on the bus"..."noooo mummy dont want to" ..."well you are so there!"

Petty back and forth argument which was frankly rediculas, dd tried to walk away from the bus stop, the mother turned it in to an almost game, mother was laughing and chasing her but shouting swear words at her and telling her she was going to "batter you when we get in" I was Then heard a whack, and looked round to see the mum hit the child 2x. Child started sobbing - from her point of view mum was chasing her laughing next min she was being hit)

Now hittings not to my taste, but I realise some people do this so I just tried to look away - small bus stop though so not really possible.

Child was then wingey (was being ignored by mum who only spoke to her to swear at her) Child then said "I am NOT goin on bus I want to go to grannys" (I though no fekking wonder) And the mother literally dragged dd by her arm along ground. DD fell to ground sobbing, mother grabbed her collar and lifted her up by it shouting and swearing and whacked her 5 more times.

At this point bus came, I told woman if she hit her dd in my sight once more id call police. (Now in retrospect I shouldnt have said that, I should have just called, but I was furious and not thinking straight) We got on same bus mother told me to "fucking go ahead then"...so I did. (mother was now dragging child up bus by arm, I dont mean pulling I mean literally dragging, then whacking her again when she wouldnt sit on seat.

Police car was sent right away but didnt arrive in time before she got off the bus I gave a description etc. But as she got off woman threatened to "batter my face in, if she hadnt got the child with her" (I felt like saying go on then, Id rather take the pain than a poor child, then you will go to prison, child will go to foster care and be better off)

I wish Id followed them, police didnt get them If I ever see them again will phone again.

If she does that in public wtf does she do at home.

KM There isn't a reponse unit for SS - do you know the number of your local SS ?
The police were absolutely the right people to contact and they in turn will pass the matter to SS if that's the correct course of action, anyone burning their child should have the key thrown away, fecking smokers.

Well done CBL.

It's true that this mum might be a good mum having a terrible day but she might be an abusive mum who behaves worse than this at home. You don't know and we don't know but that's exactly why you did the right thing by calling the police, so that the matter can be investigated and the child protected from having this happen again.

KM what exactly is your point?CBL acted on her conscience, yet you berate others for not reporting abuse.this is inconsistent

the point is CBL witnessed something that really worried her.she acted as a concerned member of the public

the onus and responsibility lies with the police to decide what action/intervention this event warrants NOT CBL

you seem more preoccupied about "grassing" and police involvement than terrible thing CBL saw

Sometimes Tink, it's the only way to make them understand

KerryMum it is you who have been the most judgemental person on the thread - the OP was responding to a violent incident she witnessed. All we can go on in life, is what we SEE; how stupidly judgemental would it have been to look at that incident and then make up a few scenarios/justifications for it just out of her head and based on absolutely NOTHING. What she DID judge on was what she SAW.

And I agree that the police were the correct people to deal with it, as the OP didn't know the home address of these people - they would have referred on to social services.

I think it is truly shocking that anyone can hear of abuse as was described in the OP and try to justify it with 'oh she might have been having a bad day'

It makes me feel sick actually.

Well done CBL.

I interfered once when a mother was yelling at her child and hit him at least once. I approached it differently to the OP and the mother ended up thanking me.

Well done for actually standing up for the child - a very smll, young child too - 4 is so little really.

Doesn't matter how much a child plays up they never deserve bing sworn at, and they do not deserve being constantly hit.

I am afraid that I will judge someone who can;t treat a child with some respect and not abuse them in this manner.

If the woman had behaved in that manner hitting and swearing at the grandma, would those defiending her still feel the same?

Or if she had been doing it to a stranger int he street?

Or if it had been the father doing these things to the child rather than the mother?

Of course being with a child can be tiresome and stressful. We have all had days like those. But not all of us reacting by wearing and hitting our child several times - why? Becauae we are adults who know how to restrain our actions surely? That is what being an adult is all about.

lol, tell me about it...

(actually, I better leave it there, Mum would kill me if I said anything, she's quite young really and only 4 years older than TBD)

I think that CBL was totally right. Whatever a child may say or do they are a child they don't understand the reality of life or how them acting up can cause their parents so much stress. They are just children. I think CBL was totally right to call the police and anyone who thinks otherwise needs some serious help!! As someone who has suffered abuse I would have much preferred someone to have stepped in, after better to be safe than sorry. It may be that this was a one time thing - but what if it's not? If the police had found the child and discovered abuse at home then everyone would be praising CBL on a job well done! The chance that this is not a one time thing needs to be investigated. I applaude you CBL I wish there were more people in the world like you

CBL - not read all of the posts here and only skimmed but in response to your OP:
You sound like one brave and decent person who responded brilliantly in a difficult situation. I would like to think that if I had been in your shoes, I could have stood up to her in some way myself.
I suspect that not as many people as we imagine would have found it in themselves to stand up and be prepared to challenge her behaviour/stick up for the small child, instead consoling themselves afterwards with thoughts that perhaps she was just "having a bad day" or that it "looked worse than it really was" and "not my place" etc etc. don?t spend too long over-analysing what you said/tone of voice/could have done it differently.
Fact is, you did stand up and react, you responded at the time, on the scene without the benefit of a calm think and opportunity to think it all through. You had the child?s best interests at heart and responded appropriately by informing the police.

OP really well done. Incredibly brave especially in this day and age.

You did the right - and brave - thing.

You weren't judging, you were reacting to something you felt wasn't right ..... and alerting someone, i.e. the police, who could judge, and take action as appropriate. If the mother had persuaded them that she'd been "having a bad day" or whatever, then so be it, you'd have done all you could have done and would then have had to leave it.

Though her charming offer to smash your face in would indicate that she's the sort of ignorant bitch who has lots of "bad days".

As for calling Social Services ..... yeah right, we all have the local SS number on speed dial on our phones don't we ? What a bloody ridiculous thing to say.

What a harrowing thing for you to have seen. I hope for that poor little girl's sake it was a one-off.

You did the right - and brave - thing.

You weren't judging, you were reacting to something you felt wasn't right ..... and alerting someone, i.e. the police, who could judge, and take action as appropriate. If the mother had persuaded them that she'd been "having a bad day" or whatever, then so be it, you'd have done all you could have done and would then have had to leave it.

Though her charming offer to smash your face in would indicate that she's the sort of ignorant bitch who has lots of "bad days".

As for calling Social Services ..... yeah right, we all have the local SS number on speed dial on our phones don't we ? What a bloody ridiculous thing to say.

What a harrowing thing for you to have seen. I hope for that poor little girl's sake it was a one-off.

I think you were brave to get involved, esp when no one else on the bus was backing you up.

I can't help remembering the Bulger case, when there were several adults who witnessed the little boy crying when he was with Thompson & Venables. They have to live with that for the rest of their lives. Tiny children need protecting and maybe it is better to risk being seen as an interfering busybody than to ignore something that disturbs you.

This is so heartbreaking, that poor child, useless grandmother (bet she was frightened herself). Maybe this mum hits older people as well
Anyone who hits their kid in public is either mad or bad or BOTH.
This is a child protection issue and if that child comes and in bruises then the school or playschool will notice and make a note of it.
This kind of thing is recorded by all people who deal in children, so if there is a constant patern then it will be picked up and social services will be in touch.
We've all had breaking points and smaked our children, but its only once and then we all feel sorry about it (i know i do).
What kind of life do these kids have to deal with behind closed doors

Kerrymum please could you explain something to me, as I am confused.
you have posted in the past about your son being bullied and you were quite rightly upset by this.
now this child is being bullied by an adult yet you say.....that people are being ott.
explain please

Sorry for the typos. Just want to add.. well done to the OP!

even if this was a one-off incident,im sure it will have affected the little girl anyway.i lost my temper with dd1 when she was 3.6 and dragged her.that was 6 years ago and although i got the help i needed and havent done anything like that since she still remembers it(and brings it up when she isnt getting her own way)

it was a violent assault and ringing the police was absolutley the right thing to do.

Achild at DS1 school came running out a few years ago waving his coat (they were year 3 so about 7/8) the zip of his coat hit his mother (who was well known for being a bit odd, kept trying to get the male teacher to go round for tea) she turned round and smacked her child in the face so hard he hit the floor .
I reported her to the school and the SS and she came up to me a few days later in the play ground (after being called in to see the head) and was trying to make nice.
I pointed out that you NEVER do that to a child and if I saw her do it again or if her son told me she had done it again I would floor her. I also asked her if she wanted to have a smack at me for reporting her to the head and the SS

As I am 5,8 well stacked and 2 belts away from black at tea kwon do she was not too keen, but I really would have floored her if I had seen her do that to hr child again

Later found out she had been abusing him in other ways too, really wish I had floored her now

I second that- I wish you had floored her too! All abuse is wrong not matter how small and no matter what the child has done.

Are you stalking me

no I wrote on this page earlier - but I have noticed that you have good (and funny) opinons so I did come back on this one when I saw you had wrote on it lol

OMG i AM STALKING YOU THEN

lol well I don't blame you I am wonderful!!

/kimi not worthy
/kimi not worthy