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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

rude worker in whsmith upset my 8yr old d

288 replies

pastapestofor6 · 10/07/2008 22:17

my dd 8 has been saving up to buy some hsm magazine, she has got the required 3.50 so today was the happy day for the long anticipated purchase to take place,
she went into smiths, I sat on bench directly i mean DIRECTLY outside with 2 younger ds's, she entered shop and the shop assistant[who i might add i dont know] said 'where is your mum?'
dd says 'just outside on the bench', woman then says 'what you doing in here' dd replies'just looking around', woman says 'do you have any money?' dd replies 'yes £3.50' to which woman replies'well you wont get anything in here for that' at which point dd fled the shop white as a sheet and shaking
I made to go in the shop and give her what for, but dd begged me to leave it, considering her upset i did so, very reluctantly i might add!
but aibu for letting her go into shop on her own [she is nearly 9]
and if not , then what should i do?

OP posts:
LadyThompson · 11/07/2008 15:48

C'mon Flashman, you must see that there is a distinction to be made between upsetting a little girl and keeping a close eye on kids. You are entitled to your opinion...though you are a lone voice in about a hundred posters...

StealthPolarBear · 11/07/2008 15:51

so would it have been OK if they had been like this to an adult? Because 30 something women have been noticed coming into the branch and not purchasing anything?

Madlentileater · 11/07/2008 15:56

I think it's important that children grow up expecting to behave and be treated politely. Doesn't matter how old you are or if other people you share some characteristics with have beaved badly. Also it's good for them to see assertiveness modelled. Not rudeness or aggression or passivity.

Flashman · 11/07/2008 15:59

Oh course they are like that to adults - walk into Ann summers on your own if you are male and you will get the shop assistants watching you closely and I am 31.

I just can't see what is so bad - perhaps she did not know that the DD would be precious. Perhaps......

And yes I realise that I am the lone voice.

LittleBella · 11/07/2008 16:02

No you're not completely alone Flashman, you're in company with a troll.

Well done.

Flashman · 11/07/2008 16:04

Now this is so shite on here if you don't agree like a sheep you are a troll. If I wanted to troll I would be doing a much better job

bluefox · 11/07/2008 16:06

YANBU. I hate children being treated like this in shops. I remember ages ago DD1 liked a particular sort of cooked meat in Sainsburys and liked to queue at the deli to ask for it herself (me nearby watching). Almost everytime, she was ignored in favour of the adult behind her. I would then intervene and MAKE them serve her first.

LadyThompson · 11/07/2008 16:07

No, you are entitled to your opinion. I just think you are being oddly harsh, and no one else agrees with you.

LittleBella · 11/07/2008 16:08

You are over-interpreting my post.

It's obvious that OWWKN is a troll. I wasn't saying you are one, just that you're in the company of one. I wish you the pleasure of it.

combustiblelemon · 11/07/2008 16:09

So, do you spend a lot of time in Ann Summers Flashman?

lazarou · 11/07/2008 16:09

A shop assistant in John lewis approached my dh because he was carrying a huge bag from the Disney Store and told him he looked like a shoplifter becasue of the big bag. That'll teach him to buy huge, useless fluffy toys that just gather dust.

Anyway, agree with Flashman, just let it go now.

LittleBella · 11/07/2008 16:09

Basically, you and the troll are arguing that it's OK to be rude to children as a default.

Well hey, guess what, most reasonable people disagree.

The sheep.

Flashman · 11/07/2008 16:10

OWWKN????

Flashman · 11/07/2008 16:11

Yes I spend ages in Ann Summers - I go to laugh at the Rabbits!!

LittleBella · 11/07/2008 16:13

oldwomanwhoknowsnothing

combustiblelemon · 11/07/2008 16:14

Fair enough. Everybody needs a hobby

Flashman · 11/07/2008 16:20

LittleBella - I don't think that she was being particually rude. Maybe could be a bit more tactful I would agree with.

nappymadmummy · 11/07/2008 16:20

I can understand what WHS are saying in that they watch little kids more. I know when I was a shop assistant at a different high street store we used to keep our eye on school children as we had a lot of theft when they were in groups.

However the issue here for me is that the sales assistant didn't just watch the child, she didn't wait to see the child doing something wrong...she confronted the child for doing something totally normal - looking around a shop deciding/finding what to buy.

Niecie · 11/07/2008 16:23

I think your daughter was treated badly but actually I don't think I would have gone to HO in the first place. I would have phoned the manager of the store where it happened.

It isn't a huge incident to HO, even though it clearly is to you and your DD, and they aren't going to go to the trouble of contacting the store in question and finding the battleaxe who was horrible. If you go to the store manager he will know his staff and he is more likely to have a word so such incidents don't happen again.

Is it too late to go to the store manager and talk to him now or write directly to him instead?

But no YANBU to be upset for your DD or for letting her go in on her own.

LittleBella · 11/07/2008 16:24

I think if it would have been rude to an adult, then it is rude to a child.

And if a shop assistant did that to me, I'd definitely consider it rude!

StealthPolarBear · 11/07/2008 16:24

do you think she was correct in saying there was nothing in the store for £3.50? if not, what was her motivation for saying that?
IMO the implication was "piss off" with a large amount of humiliation thrown in for daring to think she could afford to buy anything

EustaciaVye · 11/07/2008 16:24

I dont think Flashman is being rude. He's just looking at things from a different perspective, which is what Mn is all about.

On the response from Head office, I would be disatisfied but only because they havent really apologised, they have just made an excuse. I would write them a follow up letter and make them aware of how your daughter feels. But then I would just drop it and shop elsewhere.

Make sure your daughter goes to a nice local shop next time though.

LittleBella · 11/07/2008 16:25

Anyway this thread has vindicated my non-custom of WHSmith. I always suspected it was a crap store. They can sell kids porn-label pencil cases but not treat them politely? Pah.

BettySpaghetti · 11/07/2008 16:33

I can't believe what a crap response head office gave. Its not even a true apology as its followed by a "but.." suggesting that they don't think they're in the wrong at all.

I would have expected a grovelling apology -these days companies tend to realise that customer service is important. Some companies, in a similar situation, would no doubt send a voucher or something too by way of an apology

herewegoagain02 · 11/07/2008 16:47

How dare she, definately go back, find out the assistants name and write a formal complaint to the store manager, if somethings in writing, they have to take action. Hope your dd is ok and it hasn't put her off.