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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that people should concentrate more on the children they already have rather than being desperate for more?

61 replies

fairyfog · 09/07/2008 18:39

we cant all have what we want in life, can we not just be happy with the children we have and give them our full love and attention?

OP posts:
Desiderata · 09/07/2008 18:40

What a strange OP. It doesn't make any sense.

themildmanneredjanitor · 09/07/2008 18:40

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Humphries · 09/07/2008 18:41

Fairyfog - what has made you feel upset about this?

youcannotbeserious · 09/07/2008 18:42

I think I agree, Fairyfog.

While I would love to have another child, DH is adament that he doesn't want to (He already has two DDs as well as our DS)

I could push it, demand another DC (which he'd probably end up agreeing to) but it's not the point.

I'm so lucky to have my DS that I'd rather concentrate on him and have a good relationship with DH and my DSDs than push it to have another child and perhaps spoil what we have (resentful DH etc)

Is that what you mean?

BoysAreLikeDogs · 09/07/2008 18:44

Have you had direct experience of this ?

Can you explain a bit more, please ?

artichokes · 09/07/2008 18:44

Are you suggesting that people with fertility problems who already have a child should just get on with it and not feel sorry for themselves? If so you are being pretty insensitive.

spicemonster · 09/07/2008 18:44

Do you mean people with secondary infertility fairyfog? Because I think that actually that's pretty tough and infertility is very hard, even if you already have a child.

Or perhaps that isn't what you meant. Perhaps we should stop guessing and wait for you to come back and elucidate.

dmo · 09/07/2008 19:00

my dh has just gone out with the boys to wet the babys head
our friend has just had her 8th child last night and all the children are loved, well cared for and happy

mrschop · 09/07/2008 19:09

Maybe there's just an attitude nowadays that everyone can get what they want, and when things don't work out as people had wished (for example, two or three boys 'but' no daughter), people seem to find it difficult to accept. The instant gratification generation?

scottishmum007 · 09/07/2008 19:09

i can understand what OP means. we know a couple who have 2 DSs and they said they were happy with them but now (a year later) they are trying for another one. they can't even afford the two they've got. just seems ridiculous. not sure why people are so anxious to be continually up the duff..

Humphries · 09/07/2008 19:11

I do find it hard to agree when people keep trying for that boy/girl. After all these are human being we are making not toys!!

littlelapin · 09/07/2008 19:13

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hatrick · 09/07/2008 19:15

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dalek · 09/07/2008 19:16

Isn't this one of those things that you can think but not actually say out loud? I have one DD - would love another child but it is just not going to happen (severe PCOS, over 40 now - you get the picture). I am happy to say that I am grateful for my one healthy gorgeous daughter and shouldn't hanker after another child as I am lucky to have her but if somebody else said it to me I would be angry, hurt and upset. I don't believe that we have any right to comment on such personal life choices that other people make. As long as the children are not being harmed it's nobody else's business.

Litterbug · 09/07/2008 19:17

Surely if that were true then people would only ever have one child?

artichokes · 09/07/2008 19:17

Its quite a controversial assertion you make given this is your first ever post fairyfog. A little bored maybe?

Humphries · 09/07/2008 19:17

Fairyfog please come back and explain your thoughts?

I am an only child and have always said I would want more than one child and close together.

AbstractMouse · 09/07/2008 19:18

I agree I think depends what the op is trying to say. I have a Dd and Ds and I get sporadically spectacularily broody. Dp really doesn't want any more, I go through these phases and then emerge from the other end, knowing that I should just either forget about it or wait and concentrate all of my energy on my 2 existing children.

I think for me wanting another baby is indicative of wanting my life to change in general, and also wanting something to plan for/look forward to. Not really the burning need for another child (which obviously lots of people do feel).

AbstractMouse · 09/07/2008 19:20

I agree for me btw, doesn't really concern me if someone wants to have 13 kids or whatever.

scottishmum007 · 09/07/2008 19:21

as someone once said to me once you have a boy and girl, there's nothing else you can have after that. you only get the two different genders.

Pruners · 09/07/2008 19:23

Message withdrawn

mrschop · 09/07/2008 19:26

I really don't agree with that, each child is very different and each arrival completely changes the family unit that they arrive into.

mrschop · 09/07/2008 19:27

My comment was to scottish mummy, not pruners!

WorzselMummage · 09/07/2008 19:28

i was juat going to say the exact same thing.

As a woman SUFFERING from secondary infertility and from all the women ( and men ) in the same situation i'd like to tell the Op to FUCK OFF.

hatrick · 09/07/2008 19:29

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