to think that people should concentrate more on the children they already have rather than being desperate for more?

[fairyfog]

we cant all have what we want in life, can we not just be happy with the children we have and give them our full love and attention?

I have 3 DS's, DS2 was "talked" about, DS3 totally unplanned......

I now want another (boy preferably )........

Mind not much chance of that any time in the forseeable future given that H and I are no longer together

i didn't mind being referred to as being 'up the duff' when I was up the duff. It's just a matter of fact, nothing more nothing less. a mummy friend of mine has just found out she's up the duff again and told me in those words herself, she can at least see the funny side to it all, considering it was a surprise pregnancy!

hatrick it's just you.

fairyfog I can only hope that you do not suffer from any fertiltiy issues
we had one ds we never planned to just have one child we always thought that we would have more. He was desperate for a sibling kept asking me why he didn't have a brother or sister so we had ivf and now we have ds2 and our family feels complete
tbh it is extremely insensitive to suggest that we should have been happy with our lot and just got on with it
we can afford two dcs and us having another child is not harming anybody it is our family and our business
ime it is only people who have no trouble conceiving who make these sorts of comments

Well I sort of agree - it really depends on the situation but there are people out there who crave another child when they can't take care of the one/s they have already. I knew someone who constantly asked me to have her daughter - and I mean constantly since our dd's were at pre-school together - she was on clomid and desperately trying for another baby although also seriously overweight which could have had some affect and was also depressed. I was worried that if she fell pregnant I would suddenly have her baby to look after as well! The child is now 10 and hardly knows her mother. She was constantly passed from one relative/friend to another. I'm sure that this can't be an isolated incident - there are probably others out there like her. In that case I feel it's wrong to focus on wanting another child when you have no interest in the one you already have.

im not sure im so happy and proud to have ds

dp doesnt want anymore i was told originaly from age 16 i couldnt have children but now have been blessed with one ds would hate not to have any more

i can see im lucky to have on eand think of this as dp will not have more and im ok with that but inside is an ache that will never go as i would love to have another baby

i dint dwell on it or let it rule my life as i can concentrate fully on my ds but still i would still like to give him a brother or sister

I have 4 DC and have had 2 stilborn DDs and 2 m/c. I am very very grateful, especially after what I have been through, to have my living children, but after my late losses I have been desperate to try again as are many parents who have lost babies. After spending 5/6 months or more pregnant and coming out with nothing, just memories of grief and the loss of whole future with constant reminders of what should have been, I just wanted to feel normal again and have some hope to move on. I could have ten kids, it would stil feel this way. From the outside people may say I should just be lucky to have 4 (and yes I am lucky) but these kind of comments don't bother me as I take it with a pinch of salt from people who have never been in the situation of giving birth to and holding their still child. So YES YABU.

i agree we have one ds conceived through ivf how dare someone say that we should just give the child or children weve got our full love and attention
WE DO AND MORE WE LOVE OUR DS HE IS OUR WORLD but YES we would love to be able to give him the one thing he craves a little brother or a sister he constantly asks why cant he have a brother or sister to play with like all the other children in his class he says he is lonley even though he gets all the time and attention humanly possible. we would love a larger family and our son would not suffer
OBVIOUSLY THE PERSON WHO STARTED THIS THREAD HAS NO TACT AND HAS NEVER BEEN TOUCHED BY THE CRUEL WORLD OF INFERTILITY

what prompted you to write OP fairyfog?i see you haven't posted since...

are you suggseting everyone has a singleton?
one full term pregnancy per couple
One child per family enforced by the govt?
or if you have sneakily had twins do ou ger a slapped wrist

fortunately many parents have the capacity and desire to have more than one and give 2,3...full love and attention

I loved my first baby so much, I thought the best thing I could do for her was to give her a sibling. I love that one too!